Monday, 11 July 2016

Big Brother UK 2016: Take it like a man

I'm hiding from Twit cos I heard from a little birdie that spoilers are out. Sssssspoilers!
So they wake the housemates up with news that it's annihilation week. Shockwaves through the house! Real ones.
Everyone looks really shocked, especially Sam, who always looks gormless when he gets a surprise, and Evelyn, who is worried about her eyebrows. I think she looks quite decent not all done up. 
'It's like the hunger games, it's kill or be killed!' Not really. No one is dying. Sadly. Maybe in a decade's time they could crank the electric shock suits up for a fun task. Sizzle!
Andy in DR giving his thoughts on the situation: 'People are enjoying themselves and getting on.' When?
Why is Jayne calling Lateysha Latisha?
Jason using an example of annihilation in a sentence: 'Hughie annihilates Andy verbally.' Uh oh, Andy overheard. Not good. Ooh, Andy starting on Hughie! Shrewd. Jason SET UP this situation by using Hughie as an example, spinning him round and watching him go, then sat back eating a sandwich. Oooh. Gameplanner! Dastardly. I like it.
Next thing they show is Jason massaging the girls and empathising about period pains! Ha! 'I would hate to go through the things you women have to.' Yeah like getting evicted over your sausage meat brass neck. He is BLATANT.
Ha! Alex is telling Evelyn he heard what she said last night. I'm surprised he had the balls. Ooh, then he cuddled her. Does he want her to sit on his face? He is SO impassive. He is a human impasse. OMG he did a joke. I had to rewind it three times, but he said, 'at least when the chairs run out, you have somewhere to sit.' ie. his face. Who knew he did jokes! What next, dance routines? By the way, why would the chairs run out? Is it musical chairs? Televised musical chairs, that's a good way to evict people. THEN you'll see how much people want it. You can have that idea from me, Big Brother.
Ooh, they are showing Jackson and Chelsea talking about noms. Fingering Hughie! That was quite a vague talk about nominations. Chelsea must go straight to jail. Well, he does like life on the streets. Better than the hot water going off, isn't it? He can handle it. I'm putting Chelsea's red roll neck on the eek list, along with Jackson's orange anorak. Just say no.
It's more of a garden shed than a jail. Chelsea: 'This is what happens to the bad boys.' They should have just made Hughie immune. Jayne is winding Chelsea up in jail, ha.
Hughie looks like a different person in his promo shots. His hair is still bad then, but at least he looks cheerful.
Laura looks quite hot today. I like the leopard print and red lips, very chic. BB said 'you can take down your strongest competition or your weakest link.' I'm glad they pointed that out (ie. get rid of Alex). Oooh, they have to stay in the deliberation room until they have unanimously decided to evict one person. This is like when they had to decide who to bring back from the secret house in BB Canada and fudged it.
Oh no, save me speeches. Jackson: 'I have tried hard not to be a dick.' Not hard enough. Jayne is pulling at the heartstrings and crying, ha. Andy is playing the engagement card. Chelsea still wants to 'get to know people'. Surely you know everyone by now? Chelsea: 'Keep the old boy in.' Jason is bringing up Charlie, saying he's taken one for the team and 'put everyone else first.' GAMEPLANNER.
Alex 'prides himself on being strong' and letting Evelyn sit on his face. OMG was he nice to Evelyn earlier because of this annihilation crap?! I wouldn't be surprised, you know! Tricksy.
Hughie has had the 'time of his life.' If they evict Hughie, I'll kill 'em. Hughie is going a 'girly boys' speech (t.m. Gary Levy) and crying. YESSSS! Ryan looks scared. Don't evict Ryan. He's got 'more to give.' I bet they evict Laura or Evelyn. Bet you. Lateysha: self proclaimed hilarious and wants to say 'fuck you' to people who slagged her off (ie. Hughie).
Jackson is like the jury foreman (clad in stonewash denim). I like his idea of going round and saying who people would have nominated, seems quite fair to me. Lateysha said, 'Let's just do one.' I liked it when Jackson said 'don't go with the majority vote.' The thing is, you will go for a soft option face to face, it's obvious. I've seen it a million times before.
Jackson nommed Laura. Evelyn is hyperventilating again. She nommed Chelsea. Laura nommed Chelsea as well. Yes! Actually, no. I want Laura to go. Jayne did Chelsea, too. Chelsea actually looks upset. Andy did Hughie.
Chelsea nommed Evelyn! WHY! Where's your strategy? Nom Laura! Then Jason nominated Jayne! Makes no sense. LUMP YOUR VOTES on one person. Ooh, Alex wants them to come back to him. Not a good idea as then you may be the decider. Sam nommed Chelsea. Boo. I mean in a normal nom, Chelsea would probably have gone next. But this seems very mean. Hughie nommed Chelsea. Aw. Ryan did, too. Lateysha did as well. Pancakegate revenge! Bhahaha! Evil. Shit, Alex nommed Hughie. That means Hughie might go next. Oh no.
Andy: 'Would Chelsea like to say something?' Fuck you, probably. Chelsea: 'I've got a tough life outside. You're all younger and more deserving.'
Jackson: 'You'll be dearly, dearly, dearly missed.' Andy crying about Chelsea being his friend and giving a smarmy politicians speech. Actually, in a way it's quite a touching way to go out, with everyone giving nice speeches about you, plus you avoid the booage. Aw, that was really sad. Haha!
I will miss you, Chelthea. At least he gets 30 mins to pack.
His eviction jacket was awesome. It was kind of moving the way he went. He held his head high.
Chelsea's pulse rate is always 70, being nominated or not. He 'takes it like a man'. 'Let's ave it!' He was right, it wasn't fair the way they voted. Should have been a written vote. Also, now they sense blood, ie. Hughie's and Laura's. I hope they don't vote in the same way tomorrow.
Hughie wants to eat food and have sex naked on a table. I don't mix food with sex, personally. Just like I don't eat in the car. You need some rules in life, or you become a barbarian.
Jason is gameplanning with Alex. Andy is in the DR AGAIN. Jesus. 'I could have said no.' Yes, you could have said no, if you wanted to. You could have walked away, couldn't you?
Andy feels like a rat and a bad friend. Yes, he's a floater rat and a pot stirrer. he's worried Alex, Jackson and Jason (ie. the straights in the house) won't stick up for him if his head's on the chopping block. Here's a clue: NO. They'll push you in front of that bus, bitch.
Hughie is grinding in Ryan's face. Not sure why. Is he drunk?
Jason is in the DR saying he's next. 'It's my head on the chopping board.' That's chopping BLOCK to you. Andy is also having a one man pity party.
Jason is now doing a party political broadcast in the garden about what he wanted to prove in the house. Sam is laughing at him. What an arse. I hate Jason, but I don't think the majority should decide who leaves because that makes individuals and interesting housemates (ie. non sheep) more vulnerable.
Evelyn: 'Do you think you'll be in the finals?' to Alex. He hopes so. Evelyn thinks she's 'got a chance to make it.' Hmmm.
I hate Lateysha saying about the people who have 'strong reasons for being here.' No reason is more worthy than another. Your reason for being there is to entertain me, no more, no less, and you're failing. You're middle of the pack. If Hughie goes tomorrow, I'm going to go to Borehamwood and burn that bungalow to the ground. ANNIHILATE!


Unknown said...

None of the housemates that didn't want Chelsea to go didn't have the balls to stand up and say I don't want him to go .
I wish the housemates didn't agree to go round the table and pretend it's in the DR.
What a CRAP way to go .
I'm hoping big bro don't do the table thing for the rest of the week or EVER. Once is more than enough .

Unknown said...

Evelyn, Lateysha, have not lived up to their VT. Not that the others have but they been floaters .