Thursday, 7 July 2016

Big Brother UK 2016: What's a beer garden?

Recently been stoned to death? Thrown off a building for playing a prank in the Big Brother? Meet Andy, who really cares (about getting airtime). Tearing a strip off the cute LGBT kids in the house for mucking about cos HIS nose was out of joint because his rat faced boyfriend proposed and he wanted the limelight firmly on him. His rent-a-outrage was concluded with a fake chat with himself in the garden, safe in the knowledge that the Great Idiot British Public is firmly behind him. Little does he know, we're all team Hughie. Hughie shouts more sense in three seconds than Andy does in all his mock-horrified handwringing DRs put together. STONED TO DEATH. I wish.
ALSO your winner Alex. I said a week ago whenever this cunt speaks, it's always something nasty and sexist that comes out of his horrible, arrogant mouth. Also, those flip flops and sandals. EEK.
As for all these ex boyfriends/ current flings in the BB house thanks to this loyalty points crapola, I haven't seen Big Brother jump the shark so much since it last jumped the shark, probably five minutes ago.
I love Ryan and Hughie. I think they should get REALLY engaged like STRAIGHT PEOPLE can do without Andy's pre-judgement. They would do a great magazine deal.
They are pretending it's Lateysha's birthday. Andy is going to get outraged for all the people whose real birthday it is today.
Andy says Hughie won't let things go, and he's set to have some irritating conversations. Andy is fed up with the pranks. What a sourpuss.
Hughie: 'What's a beer garden?' Weeeeellll.
Jackson: 'Don't nominate me cos I'm the only one with baccy.' Evict him and he'll leave it behind.
Why does Evelyn think Alex is better looking than her?
Emma is eating some toast. Legacy. Her arse looks quite good actually.
Ryan has busted out of the toilet to get some fags. He'll prob come back with a pack of Silk Cut. He probably thought he'd be evicted first week. I did too, I couldn't fucking stand him. Andy has cigarettes left, I note. He was obviously playing the long game. I love a cigarette row on BB. OLD SKOOL.
Jason has noticed a 'divide'. Gameplanner!
NOMS. Lateysha did Chelthea over pancakegate. Don't blame her. And Jason for being a gameplayer, lol.
Sam nommed Chelthea for 'going from person to person licking arses.' Thanks for that mental image. And Ryan (but not Hughie, I note.)
Jackson nommed Emma for turning round for He-Man and for Charlie for 'causing a divide'. Jason's words!
Ryan nommed Chelthea and Andy for 'causing carnage out of nowhere'. Mocking 'the community', ha.
Musical chairs without music is just chairs.
Andy is apologising in the middle of noms, hahaha. Bad noms day protocol.
Hughie nommed Andy for 'STONED TO DEATH' gate and Chelthea for bragging about money.
Emma nommed Jackson for being aggressive (true) and Jayne for some reason to do with positivity.
Alex is nomming Charlie (because Jason told it to) and Emma because her boyfriend He-Man is bigger than him and it made his cock shrink.
Evelyn nominated Chelthea for mixing/ flattery (he needs to do this a bit more subtly) and Jason for being a gameplanning pedal bin-kicking gimp.
Jason working out 'bribery blackmail, kidnap, violence to stay in.' Bhahaha. All the men together; knobends.
Charlie nominated Emma for loyalty point. weird boyfriend stuff and Laura (still doesn't nominate Jason!)
Chelthea nommed Jayne (standard) and Evelyn cos she can't talk about technology or astronomy. Sorry, Professor Brriiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaannnnn Cox wasn't available to be a civilian BB housemate.
Jayne nommed Chelthea and Jason. The divide is real!
Andy is nomming Hughie: 'Nothing to do with last night.' OK MATE. And Lateysha for saying he's sly. He makes Andy Herren the floater rat look straightforward.
Laura nominated Jackson for Bernardo-gate and Chelthea for relentless mixing.
Jason nommed Ryan for being negative and moaning. And Charlie for 'her sanity and his sanity.' We thought he'd never do it! He wants it to be shown. Squeezing a tear out. Great strategy. I think kicking the pedal bin was the final straw.
Why were noms so late this week? I wonder if it will be a double?
Up are Emma, Jason, Chelthea and Charlie. Ooh, that's cool. I don't care who goes out of those (I know Emma has already gone). I want Chelthea to stay, so he will probably go. I would love to see Jason go.
How the fuck did Andy escape noms? Why is Jayne not up?
Jason 'saw it coming' but Charlie never nommed him so she retains the moral high ground. LOSER. Gameplanner.
Alex doesn't like Evelyn and gulped. Ha. I don't see why not.
I only just noticed Charlie's back tattoo. Gadzooks. Charlie would love to have Jason's child. But she'll have to kill the dog first. OMG poor Jason. She will not let it lie. Haaaaa. Good memories though, like that meat feast pizza they had.
Alex doesn't see Evelyn in 'the bigger picture' but will sling one up her. Prince charming, SWOON.
Jackson so aggressive to the drippy twin. Hughie: 'In that pacific moment.'
How the fuck did Emma get thrown out for that? We've never SEEN HER BREAK OUT BEFORE. Emma: 'I'm sorry I've broken the rules.' WHAT RULES? WHAT RULLLLLEEEESSS?????
The rulebook is like a choose your own adventure story. Oh sorry, you died. Better luck next time.


Unknown said...

I don't know why Charlie didn't nom Jason . A lot of the noms were so obvious , from what we seen this week.
Big Bro should have removed Jayne as we saw her break out and also Ryan - think that's twice he's escaped and yet big bro keep him .
I hope Charlie goes . She can't let it go with this Jason .
A blog + a podcast in the same day. Wow that must be a 1st

toureasylover said...

My FAVORITE word of this latest blog is... 'GADZOOKS'! What a perfect word. Don't think I've heard *read* this word since Shaggy exclaimed it in the cartoon series Scooby Doo.

Once again, you've clicked your keyboard keys and typed up what most of us think, but don't say out loud (I watch BBUK alone, so I don't have anyone to talk to but my TV screen).

Thanks so much Lynsey for summarizing BB in your blogs. I simply LOVE them all.

Cheers from Oregon!

lightupvirginmary said...

Thanks so much, it really means a lot.

lightupvirginmary said...

Unfortunately I think Chelsea will go!