Saturday, 5 January 2013

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: Haves cannot stand us have-nots

Someone ticked the 'blah' box yesterday so I'd better watch myself! Blahblahblahblah. That's all this is! Just me blethering on.
Hi, everyone else! How are you? I feel a bit split between my £50 on Rylan and my enjoyment of the Spencer and Heidi. It would be criminal if they were out first, but how could it go any other way? I watched the clip on Spencer kicking off on I'm a Celeb US and he is a PROPER nutcase. He was soooo aggressive. Someone peeled a label off Heidi's dry shampoo and he started ranting about 'arts and crafts' and slapping things out of people's hands. You'd be out on your ear for that kind of aggression on our show *suddenly remembers Conor... not so sure*. Talking of Conor, I thought they were meant to apologise for his disgusting scumbaggery at the start of the show as Ofcom ruled that he was a sexist douchebag, or whatever? Oh well, as long as I never have to see his spudhead again, I'll be happy. But I'll never forget!
Anyway, on with tonight's festivities. I don't mind Frankie at all, actually, I think he might be my second favourite.
Paula is quite well camouflaged on that sofa under her Del Boy coat, I was hoping someone was going to slag her off! 'Really sick' - she seems OK now. I do give her respect for that actressing. Not bad at all.
I think the other housemates like Steps more than Claire does. I've always got the feeling she hated her own music.
Are they really poisoning them in the basement? Surely that's not allowed.
It's weird the way Heidi just laughs at everything Spencer says, even when it's not funny. It's like she's had her personality removed. From what I've read, he really controls her and cut her off from her family. She's obviously deeply disturbed, and I suspect, a bit thick.
Paula: 'In England, we say hello to people.' Yeah in America, they just go 'Put 'em up!'
I feel a bit sorry for Rylan because he's on the backfoot, but it's not his fault he had to make those choices at the beginning. I feel like Big Brother set him up a bit because he's such an obvious favourite. Ok, so he could have gone into the basement, but I wouldn't have.
Spencer looks angry when Heidi talks. She looks sad in general. That's why they're interesting to watch.
Rylan, I don't think semen 'eats away at the wall of the vagina.' That sounds like something out of a horror film.
Spencer and Heidi have been given a task: to be villians. Rylan: 'suit your fucking self.' LOL. I love the way he talks, he reminds me of my boyfriend a bit, not the accent, but the turns of phrase.
I don't think Rylan is helping this Montag situation. Heidi talks like a fucking chipmunk. Razor is rabble-rousing!
I wish they had shown Spencer slagging them all off in the basement Diary Room. Spencer is like an army general. No wonder he's got the camo on. When is someone going to break it to him that the BB house isn't a mansion, but just a TV studio?
Surprise, surprise, chief fence-sitter Toadfish offers to unblock the drains, a job that's quite suitable for such a dull man. It's not like it's real shit in there. The Scott and Charlene wedding music was a nice touch. Toadfish aint stupid, he wants to grab a few votes. I'd rather Alf or Fisher were in the house.
Spencer: 'that girl's not cute.' Heidi: 'which one?' Spencer: 'Any of them.' He prefers his women shop-bought.
I like Frankie's dry humour, and the fact he's letting Rylan hang himself. He played a shrewd game because he got himself off the hook with the Montags by sending them back up to luxury, plus making Rylan deal with the fallout. Best buddies, not quite!
Sam seems quite cool, just keeping his head down and his mouth shut. Good to stay under that radar, unless you're someone I want out.
Footballers Wives WAS ace and it had Nicky Platt in it as the David Beckham type. I'd love to know what Rylan's 'nest of tables' looks like.
LOL to Heidi and Spencer hiding under the foil when Spencer came in, what a pair of immature, rude bastards. No wonder he sent them upstairs; get shot! That was a purely selfish decision on his part.
They wanted Toadie. They got the Pratts. Hilarious. Notice they left the basement quick enough!
Frankie: 'I think it's going to kick off now, that's why I done it.' Ha! Brilliant.
I think Spencer preferred martyrdom in the basement, don't you? Aw, Frankie, 'Look after my Rylan and the girls will you?' Don't pretend to care now, we know your game!
I'm still not impressed with that DR chair, it's like someone's chucked an old rug on it.
Rylan is right not to trust that couple. They're not people, they're just characters. Anyway, I heard they're all out of the basement now, and I'm pleased. I despise tasks that separate the housemates, it's against the natural order of the show. Let relationships develop naturally. Let villains be the person you least expect. Let it be 2002.


Mattpuma said...

Thanks for the blogs, been out this weekend so missed the shows apart from the launch but its more interesting reading your thoughts anyway.
I agree with you about splitting the housemates. Channel 5 try to hard to engineer situations. In the first few series(not seasons, this aint the USA!) there were more natural interactions between people and it was far more interesting. Now its more like a Barnum and Bailey sideshow.

lightupvirginmary said...

Thanks Matt, good to see you. :)