Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Celebrity Big Brother 2013: Squatters evicted

God, how can it only be Tuesday? This week is dragging bad. Also, a tree surgeon crushed my garden shed to pieces today because the tree I didn't even want cutting down 'fell the wrong way'. TIMBER! Arseholes.
I don't know why people care about snow. I couldn't give a shit! It's cold and 'orrible, as Rylan would say. I hate autumn and soggy wet leaves and I hate winter and de-icing my car. And we have no summer. So THERE.
Spontag are only communicating with nods. John McCruick style! Did they confiscate their Diet Coke. God, I couldn't cope with them creating an atmosphere all the time, I'd snap. It's like growing up in my childhood home all over again. Perhaps they need their blood replacing or something. What IS their problem?
Don't reverse psychology me, Pratt-face. Spencer's talking in riddles now, he's gone a bit Dungeon Master. Turned out he was a wrong 'un, an' all.
LOL to Spencer: 'I think it's fake snow.' Hahahahaha! They can't afford it! They only CGI it on Eastenders and Corrie. It never snowed that hard down my scragbag end of London/Surrey if I'm trying to be posh (the end of the line... the end of the Northern line). It's not fake snow, anyway. Frankie Dettori's friends have just dropped by. Go fill your boots!
Heidi's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Oh stop going on about bacteria, you drainers. You're driving me nuts. I think they need their vitamin injections, or Prozac.
Toadfish is diving bare-chested in the snow! Crazzy Aussies. Isn't he a fun guy? Zzzzzzz.
Heidi: 'I don't want anyone seeing our dogs.' Why, what do you think is going to happen?! Perhaps Rylan is going to suck out the Pomeranian souls by merely admiring them.
So this Big Vendor thing is like the Zingbot, right? Like the Zingbot meets Stephen Hawkins. ZING! Is he going to vend anything of interest? Hopefully Heidi and Spencer's meds. Heidi's weave is looking a little ratty today.
Kathy's never looked happier than listening to other housemates badly sing 'Reach for the stars.' Claire can't hold a note! Rylan can sing better than her.
Do Heidi and Spencer know this is a Steps song? Oh dear, I take back what I said about Rylan's singing. At least Razor's not shy of making a complete idiot of himself.
Spontag aren't eating because of BACTERIA. Tonight Spencer's drinking out the bottle, lol. He's like an old wino. Why is Spencer so outraged that Frankie isn't turning cartwheels that they're not back in the house? They are acting like the worst guests EVER. Frankie wasn't being an arsehole, he was being honest. 'I don't mind' was on the milder end of the spectrum, really.
Spencer doesn't like pickles. What DOES Spencer like? God, Spencer is not even 30. He looks like an old man.
Why would you ask a married couple if you think they're together forever? What companies were spending millions trying to break Spencer up? Was it the Yarn-spinning Association?
I like Heidi and Spencer's policy of just eating crisps and chips.
Spencer thinks Rylan or Claire will go home. Incorrect.
Lacey: 'you two are very sweet.' Eh? Heidi's getting sniffy about Lacey having no clothes on in the shower. You can't see her! Take a chill pill, Heidi. She's SUCH a prude.
I think Tricia is gearing herself up for a fight now, and it will just be any excuse. Shame Lacey's going to go tomorrow, especially as she's winding up Heidi. I wish we could get rid of someone else. Oh well, that's just the way it goes. But sometimes, it goes the other way too. Let the games begin, etc.

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