Monday, 4 August 2008

Big Brother 9: What's the worst that could happen?

My laptop bit the dust yesterday but I felt compelled to write about BB (which is good as I haven’t given much of a shit about it lately). So here’s a next-day quickie/longy.
Putting Rex’s girlfriend in there has been an utter stroke of genius. They imploded a BILLION times quicker than I thought they would. Rex’s girlfriend is miles too good for him (i.e. she appears to have a brain and some kindness in her) but they are well matched in that they are both utterly shallow and insecure. I watched them talk about all the different pairs of jeans she’d brought into the house on the live feed the other day, as he simpered and said how much he liked each pair. Is that really what some couples talk about? Shopping and jeans and bloody money. I would rather be dead.
Rex’s girlfriend styles herself as ‘high maintenance’- what this actually means is ‘I’m a spoilt bitch.’ She wasn’t crying about the suitcase by the way. She was crying because it had dawned on her that her boyfriend was an utter bastard. Needy, insecure, controlling, jealous. And constantly trying to convince himself and the world she’s the second coming. What a croc. I remember Steph! And so do a lot of people, and I bet Nicole does too.
Mikey is being quite a card this week, he’s been involved in some amusing scenes and he’s telling it like it is about Rex and Nicole. I also enjoyed Dale and Stu saying she wasn’t that cute and if you’re going to harp on about her, you’d better make sure she’s fit. I kind of liked Stuart AGAIN yesterday, make it stop.
Rex said it all last night with his ‘if a guy comes up to Nicole in a club I get angry’ (potential wife-beater signal! Run for your life!) then his constant ‘what’s wrong? What’s wrong?’ But what sealed the deal was when he went in the diary room and said ‘this is the worst thing that could have happened.’ Because actually it is. I was annoyed that they seemed to be rewarding Rex, but really it was something else entirely, wasn’t it? I love that he’s been robbed of his happy reunion. I love that they can’t sleep together. I love that their little ploy to get into Hell together didn’t work. I love that every time she looks over his shoulder she looks absolutely sickened, like a bad actor in Eastenders. They both must know that they have fucked up big time. Neither of them can leave. She’s destroyed his game. Their relationship is finished. It’s car crash telly, and joy to watch.
PS. I hate Kat and could happily punch her repeatedly in the face. I just fast forward through her now. The singing, her voice, the cookies, her idiotic banter If she wins, I’m disowning the nation.

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