Tuesday, 27 June 2017

Big Brother UK 2017: It would be great if Kanye West becomes President

Chanelle is upset the tree of love doesn't hug back. 'It's so one sided, this relationship.'
Joe quite suits being a hippy. He's in touch with his feminine side now and wears his partners clothes. Fair enough. I like this less 'laddy' Joe.
Kieran is in the kitchen mansplaining to Hannah about how she doesn't listen. Ironic, really.
Deborah: 'When the bad apple is removed, the other apples can grow.' It is weird how they're all being positive now. I reckon they've been read the riot act off screen.
I like Chanelle's doll in bed prank. Where is that doll even from? Is it one of Arthur's mannequins?
Writing materials to write songs! Don't tell Nasty Nick. This lot are too thick to write down nom ideas.
These housemate raps are driving me mad. I can't be bothered to comment on them, it's so pointless. The only notable thing so far was Isabelle singing about Chanelle and calling her Chantelle and doing a really odd performance. Isabelle is soooo weird. So weird. I feel like she has a personality disorder. Chanelle wasn't too happy.
Isabelle uses a brillo pad to exfoliate. A brillo pad! What does she do her dishes with!? A cement mixer?
Chanelle mispronouncing 'faux fur'. She mispronounced it 'fox' which doesn't sound great.
Glitter boobs time. I like Joe getting into the spirit. He is living for this task. The boobs look quite good in glitter. It's like the glitter holds them up a bit. Joe: 'You shouldn't doubt your boobs, nothing wrong with them, love.' Thanks for that, Joe. Now stop looking at the girls' boobs.
Tom does look like a novelty Santa, I agree with Ellie there.
Eww, Tom is holding hands with Ellie. Gross. No showmance, please, especially not with those two creeps.
Joe is encouraging Raph to rank the guys in order. Raph said Kieran than refused to high five him. Leave that twat hanging. I don't want Kieran to start getting a good edit now. He's a nasty person.
Why is Tom storylining about his girlfriend? Does he mean Lotan?
Isabelle wants to find a boyfriend in Marbella. She wants 'a temporary boyfriend for the summer.' Sounds good.
Is the tree of love a real tree? Savannah is annoyed she can't lean on the tree. Savannah is annoying.
Ugh, is Kieran trying to showmance Charlotte now? Desperate times.
Nice to see Kieran cuddling the sisters, until he dry humped them. Deborah is praying for Jesus to give her more weeks in the house. I'm sure he's got better things to do.
Raph and the sisters are shoring themselves up, hoping not to go. 'If the public evicts us, we can say we've been ourselves.' I think they're good on a vote to evict.
The housemates are talking about who they'd vote for. Raph said he would have voted for Labour over here. OMG Raph saying he voted for Donald Trump. Hannah's reaction! LOL! It was like he'd punched her in the face. Raph, you shouldn't have said that two days before noms. 'We need shade before we need light'. WTF. Raph, shut your mouth. I thought you were bullshitting or VT lying about Trump.
Charlotte: 'I don't know enough about politics... it would be great if Kanye West becomes President.' You're right, you don't.
A moth in the Big Brother house. I think we had a whole podcast title based on Wolfy and a moth back in the Big Brother Bile days. RIP.
Fucking hell, that's not a moth! That's a monster. If that was in my house, I'd move out. It looks furry!
Kieran going 'come here' to the moth and Tom going 'it can't speak, mate.' Does he mean 'listen'? The moth is more eloquent than Tom.
I did like Kieran rescuing it at the end and Charlotte going 'I hate nature!'
Everyone was moaning that it was a boring episode, but it was OK. You can't have fights every night. To paraphrase Raph/ Patrick Wolf: 'If it's never dark... how you gonna know the sun when it shines?'
Also, podcast. Also, BBUS starts tomorrow, if you've never watched it, give it a go. We'll be podcasting and it's fun. It's my favourite international Big Brother.

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