Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Big Brother UK 2017: I've got better things to do than discuss fucking eggs

Saw the new housemates on Twitter today. More thick white people! It's like Big Brother is trying to annoy their minority viewers. Give us some people with brains, please. Or at least personalities. One is Kieran's ex! What next, Kieran's mum? Oh, she's already in there.
Chanelle telling Kieran he's sexy when he's angry. Rebecca's gonna come for your edges, whatever the fuck that means.
Joe is a bit intimidating, I think. As are his family members trolling me on my blog - sigh.
Ooh, noms already. Raph nommed Tom for 'caring about airtime' and Joe for his crap 'Bobbys' tattoo. No, for not liking him and for being disrespectful. Raph: 'Girl power.' Lol.
Joe nommed Rebecca and Charlotte: 'I don't even notice she's in the house.' Fair point, nor do I.
Ellie nommed Joe for being negative. Joe does seem miserable as sin in there. Probably worried about his GF on the outside. Ellie also nominated Rebecca, so at least she tooks shots at both sides.
Charlotte nominated Joe for being miserable and Chanelle! Nooooo. Boo. For knocking a drink towards Kayleigh. Who cares!
Chanelle couldn't get through passport control in Turkey because she'd had plastic surgery. Dear oh dear.
Tom: 'Have you ever bent over the mirror and farted?' Entertainment is obviously lacking in Wales.
Rebecca has pissed on someone ie. Keiran. I saw this whole bit on BBBOTS, so what's the point?
Kieran realising what they're talking about takes him a minute. So Kieran is a little bitch in bed. Figures.
Oh, more noms. Deborah nommed Joe and Tom for being 'far up Lotan', ha.
Ooh, Kieran nominated Joe! I'm surprised. And also Chanelle for not washing up. Cop out.
Rebecca nominated Joe for hating women. I think that's probably quite true. She also nominated Hannah for being moody and for singing. Please stop singing.
Hannah nominated Joe for having a go at Rebecca, bit ironic as Rebecca just nommed her. Oh, her second nomination was Rebecca. We're never gonna get rid of Lotan and Kieran.
Tom and Lotan colluding on noms... again.
Deborah has had her cleavage and fanny pierced apparently. Who knew?!
Lotan nominated Hannah and Chanelle. Tom nominated Hannah and Rebecca (I think, I was resetting my phone and I'm not rewinding him).
Chanelle nominated Joe and Rebecca. That argument came back to haunt both of them, didn't it?
Chanelle: 'All Rebecca's bringing is having breakdowns every day.'
The housemates up are Joe, Hannah, Rebecca and Chanelle. Joe doesn't give a fuck. Raph happy he's not 'on the block.'
Deborah: 'It's so predictive.'
What's going on with Raph's orange hair? It's a crappy dye job. Chanelle: 'People don't say it to my face, they lick my arse, but carry on, cos it tastes good, honey.'
Chanelle is doing an inspiring speech. Quite heartwarming really, if a bit sarcastic, haha. Chanelle is pure actressing but at least she's doing something, which is more than 80% of people in there. Lotan calling her fake! Bit rich.
Hannh is having a go at Kieran for not comforting her when she was nominated. Tom coming over and basically intimidating her.
Hannah trying to talk to Lotan and him being so rude to her. Hannah calling Tom 'nosy' and 'extra small.' Ha. See how angry Tom got about it. 'Watch me ruin this joint!' Intimidating. Joe: 'You could have done your hand' as Tom slams his bottle down.
Hannah calling Tom a 'nobody', ha. Him bitching in the DR like a poundland Slim Shady after his latest court battle. Sit down, extra small.
How did Ellie end up in the cool clique? I use those words loosely, but I pronounce them correctly.
Raoh shit stirring that Lotan said 'The nominated people are kicking off, dududududur.' Also threw Ellie's name out there!
Lotan to Hannah: 'Do you mind moving, sweetheart, while I talk to Chanelle?' No problem, darling. The way the guys talk to Hannah is disgusting. It is like she's a second rate citizen in that house. Why could that be... hmm?
Lotan: 'The intellect, or lack of, in this house is killing me.' The irony of him saying those words is almost poetic. Who was he saying 'your voice goes through me' to? I think it was Chanelle.
Tom's upset about being called a nobody. They're all meant to be nobodies.
Hannah: 'Are you somebody? Amazing. Have a good day.' Hannah has stepped up her game.
Raph is being his usual twitchy/ noddy self in the DR, narrating what's going on in the 'season.' He's like an Aldi Dan Gheesling.
Chanelle just broke an egg on the floor for no apparent reason. Rebecca: 'NAH!'
I liked Ellie's 'are you yolking?'
Lotan on Hannah to Tom: 'She hanging herself. Let's ghost her.' Er, racist undertones much! Tom: 'Let's ghost it.' Ah, the people's choice. Aren't we clever. 'Idiot general public' has never been truer.
Chanelle wants to make people's life miserable in case she's going to go. Ha! She's gonna put their clothes in the hot tub and drop some more eggs about. Why not? It's not like there's any intellectuals in the house except Lotan, right, LOL.
Chanelle: 'With Hannah's loudness and my pettiness, the housemates are going to want to walk out when we've finished with them.' Hope so!
Egg gate continues! I love the low level petty warfare of the egg smashing. Chanelle is coming into her own tonight.
Tom threatening to throw food everywhere in retaliation for egg gate in an aggressive manner. He does everything aggressively, he's like a staffy that's been tasered. But no one calls him aggressive.
Joe, Tom and Lotan all with their tops off is making me reconsider my sexuality.
Lotan is conducting an enquiry into egg gate. 'No one man nor a million people' can sway Lotan's opinion. Maybe he can be the new Martin Luther King now Sukvinder's gone.
Rebecca is annoyed that Joe has fingered her for egg gate and said he's a 'nasty old man.' She's a nasty old-looking bitch.
Rebecca is mental, yet not entertaining. Quite a skill there.
Chanelle: 'I've got better things to do than dicuss fucking eggs.' Apparently, I haven't.
Ooh, it's still vote to save! Save Hannah (she proved her worth annoying the other side tonight) and Chanelle.

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