Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Not a dream or a nightmare, this is reality

Fanny rat on the turn

Someone at work said to me today, 'How can Calum Best be so ugly when his parents were so beautiful?' Good question. The weirder part is how many people STILL find him attractive.
Not voting tonight cos there's too many people up and it's a Tuesday. LOTS of Nicola hate online today about the Kim/mum comment. I get it, but I also think people are just looking to take Nicola down over something. And now this has happened, they're delighted. Don't get me wrong, I do not like Nicola. But I thought she'd handled the Kim situation quite well until that point. Better than I would have done, anyway.
Spencer going 'blergh' in Coleen's face and saying, 'This is not a dream or a nightmare, this is reality.' Haha. Coleen is trying to set James C on Spencer. Spencer didn't 'pull the covers off her' nor scare her. She's hamming it up.
I would be annoyed with Stacy hiding food. If someone wants Nutella, why can't they just get it out the cupboard? Why does Stacy have to be food monitor? Bring back Austin and his water bottles and his shouting and his arse.
Calum thinks Coleen is milking the Spencer situation, as do I. I hate agreeing with Calum. Coleen: 'Spencer screamed in my face three times and no one said anything.' You say something, Coleen. Stick up for yourself! 'Screamed' is pushing it. He just went 'blergh.' Blergh is not screaming. Just ask Timmy Mallett. Spencer is growing his pube beard back again though, which I think should be vetoed. I can't believe Heidi allows it. Saw their arch nemisis 'Toadjerk' on CBBBOTS yesterday. Douche!
James C finds the 'feral catfight distasteful.' James is being a bit of a snob again. He looks like he should be put on suicide watch. SMILE, James. Enjoy your pass to the final. CBB is one long endurance task for him.
Can't believe Stacy is turning round James C saying he was violent back on him. Gross. He was confiding in her!
My brain switches off when Jessica speaks. Her rows with Stacy are mute button times. I don't care about either one of them, they're both in the wrong, and both muppets, and every second spent on them is seconds I'm not watching Speidi or Jedward and I hate them for it. Although Stacy did say 'gang handed' so she wins as far as I'm concerned.
Kim to Jedward: 'Do you think I'm going to spend the ten years I've got left dealing with shitbags?' Lol.
Jamie plans to 'get Bianca in his bed.' Gross. He's respectable and will 'treat her like a lady until he gets her out of there.' Grim. Then he's abuse her in a Travel lodge.
Jedward's Riddler jackets are tres chic.
Ugh, what are Bianca and Jamie doing in that toilet? 'Thie things I'm going to do to you when I get out of here.' Take your velveteen smoking jacket off for a start, pimp daddy. And make sure she's sober first. Good luck with that, though.
Jamie is not in the house to 'have a TV romance.' I think he just wants to shag a drunk Bianca.
Then they said 'I love you' to each other in bed. How many mini cans of gin and tonic was that after?
I love Jedward's pizza outfits. They are amazing. Nicola having a go at Jedward: fuck you, bitch.
What is Nicola's problem with them? Doesn't like them entertaining the public? SHE is the one who switched the light on full blast and went after them like a banshee! I like the person on Twitter @LucyAnnRed who said 'Nicola's eye has popped out again.' Tweet of the week.
Get who out? Crowd are quiet! Jamie got booed, woo! Jedward got booed and Jessica got cheers!? WTF. Nicola got some cheers! The crowd is like the exact opposite of my Twitter timeline.
Oh, Stacy got evicted, even with all that airtime! LOUDER doesn't mean safer. Well I'm amazed a black woman lasted this long in Brexit Britain. Who voted to save Jamie? Fuck you! Subjecting us to more slurping, ick.
What is going on with Stacy's hair? I don't like the slick look. I prefer her crazy curls. I'm not really liking her bottle green dress with her boobs bouncing out, either. Stacy should have made it to the finals, really. Oh well.
Emma finally has an opinion about something... and it's that she'd 'blow' if someone put her washing on the floor. I wouldn't give a fuck. It's going in the washing machine after.
Stacy: 'Is Kim senile?' Yes. I liked Stacy's joy at saying the word 'telly'. I liked her plug for herself at the end too, haha.
Well, that was a bit of a damp squib of an eviction, but it is a Tuesday, so what else are you gonna do? Suck it up, I guess. Speidward FTW.