Thursday, 12 January 2017

Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Are we human or are we Jedward?

Land of nod task is ongoing. We're tired of it already. Dream clouds! I think the entertainment value is done there.
Aw to James C comforting Stacy when she's crying. What a lovely guy. Quite dull, but lovely.
We don't even GET to know why Brandon is having a hard time, he's so dull. Give us a crumb, Brandon! Throw us one bone, mate.
Angie enjoyed arguing with Stacy last night. OK then. She's such an arse. Why is everyone on Stacy's case? I don't even like her but it's not pleasant to watch. She's got Austin, Angie, Jasmine and Nicola on her case. Is she being bullied? She's definitely being marginalised.
Jasmine is annoyed by an unspecified Jedward waving a banana in her face. 'I don't even know if they're human or have feelings. They're just robotic little wind up toys.' Weeeelll. That's their main appeal!
Stacy knows Tom Cruise from being a Scientologist. Now James is slagging off Scientology, oops. Stacy: 'It's pretty phenomenal.' Ah, she's admitted she's one. 'Well, if it works for you.' This means, 'You're nuts.' I'd ask her more about it! It's interesting.
Jamie 'treats women like an an animal in bed.' The old Fatboy chat up line, hey. Mind you, he's a footballer, so not sure he should brag about that. They're not known for their appropriate sexual conduct, are they?
At least Brandon came back to say goodbye. I would have just skulked out of the diary room cos I hate goodbyes. James J crying, lol. Spencer's probably like, another one bites the dust. Two down... how many to go?
Brandon and James C's heartfelt goodbye! Aw.
Jedward are like my friends stopping me trying to leave the pub. If he wants to go, he wants to go. Give the man a break.
James J to Brandon: 'You didn't affect anyone else.' Especially not the viewers.
OMG I can't believe Jamie kicked off at Jedward like that! They were trying to be nice. Jamie is an aggressive twat. What did they even do?!
'What's real about you? You're the biggest joke act I've ever seen. You're just fucking noise.' What are you? A pug nosed, midget, racist-marrying, wife-leading-on piece of shit, fuck off. I think he actually upset Jedward. They DO have emotions!
Brandon is getting so much airtime, honestly. Leave already!
Speidi counselling Jedward, I love it.
Jamie: 'I don't like arguing.' You didn't argue, you just shouted at two people for no reason who were trying to be nice. Jedward ARE adults, FFS. Patronising twat. The way they dealt with him and didn't rise to it showed that.
Another shit stir task, quoting the housemates. They fucked up the 'Bonka from the strip club' line. Haha, Jedward got called on the 'biggest nobodies' line. Loved James J calling them 'nasty little fuckers', hahaha. Jedward on backtrack mode, lol.
Calum is constantly trying to manage his mum, ha. I hope he's having a shit time in there. Both him and his mum are ruining my experience of the programme.
Austin admitting to Coleen that 'he has an issue with drinking.' Well, that's the first step. The second is to drink less. I shant hold my breath.
Angie, stop pretending you don't know what a gameplayer is. Calum's face is a picture every time his mum talks. He looks under the cosh.
Oh, the task is over. They passed the shopping task. I don't even remember there being a secret aspect to it.
Oh god, new housemates are coming tomorrow. I bet it's someone cheap. It will be some TOWIE wankers. And the weekend from hell. I wonder what that means. I'm hearing rumours it's Bear. God, I hope not. Ruthless. If it's the weekend from hell, just put Katie Hopkins, Perez and Bear in, job done.
Bianca's one job in the house, trying to keep Austin on a leash. She does a reasonable job of it.
Austin vs Stacy again, zzz. Stacy is right, she can talk about whatever she wants. Having knowledge of getting yourself papped is hardly something to brag about. Just ask Lisa Appleton.
Jamie on Jedward: 'They're either really dumb or really clever.' That smoking crew are coming off like a bunch of cunts and bullies. Jedward got more readies than you bitches put together.
Nicola: 'I just want to leave to cheers rather than boos.' Good luck with that.
Austin is trying to argue with Calum about the size of his feet. Then saying he likes Stacy. WTF. He's either drank too much or not enough. I'm glad they're being nice to Stacy for once. I guess Jedward are the new kicking post.
Jamie: 'You're coming across amazing' to Nicola. Calum: 'We will break this chick.' That's Calum's true personality leaking out. Oozing out, I should say.
Jasmine to Stacy: 'You have so much to offer this world, I love you.' Calm down. Faaaaaaakke.
What time to Speidi go to bed? Why are they never on this show anymore! Boo!
Is Jasmine patting Calum's knob? Is that the sexual scenes we were promised? Jibbed!
Save Austin and Speidi! (And James C). I think Tracy will be saved anyway. I want Angie to go and take her kale, her gameplan and her son with her. BYE!


N.K. said...

Weekend from hell? perm any 3 from Pricey,Bear,Rylan or Brad the lad Long F.F.S.

lightupvirginmary said...

I think it might be Bear! I'll take Bear over Gemma Collins.