Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Marshall lathers

Gotta be starting somethin'

Just watched last night's live feed and some interesting bits! I would kill to see a few hours of Jedward or Spiedi a week just chatting. Instead we just get fake arguments and stripping off. Zzz. Spencer said he knows Chloe is going to win because he knows the British public and we're sick, basically.
James C not impressed with Kim's antics. 'A terrible desperation.' Spencer is winding her up. How come he gets away with it?!
Chloe: 'I wonder who's got the biggest willy of all the boys.' Chloe thinks Stacy means James C has got a big one, but she actually meant James J. Dearie me, lovey.
Kim calling Spencer 'trash' and 'scum'. 'We don't mix with scum, we wash it down the sink. I never look for trouble, my love.'
Jamie fancies Bianca, but I don't think she likes him. Why would she? He has nothing going for him. Nicola's jealous. 'I thought you were thinking she was more of a friend?' Transparent.
Door wars! This is what passes for entertainment in the Big Brother house. Spencer vs Kim. Petty. Is it warm or is it hot? It's fucking freezing out. Heidi is keeping out of it, I notice. Look, she's actually in a seperate room to her husband. Insane! They have progressed. To be less fun. But I do believe this being nice bullshit is just fake as well.
Kim has given up on the door war because it's childish. Yes, it is childish. Spencer giving it back to her and calling her scum as well. His game is not on point at the moment. I'm hoping he'll step it up a gear or two soon.
Chloe: 'What does 'wordly wise' mean?' 'Albert Ein-thing.' Nice try, you knew what he was called. She's probably in Mensa. Ok, maybe not.
James C breaking down if your eyes pop out when you sneeze. What is a 'fishwife's tale'? It's an old wives tale! The thick is rubbing off on James C.
Calum is educating Chloe on dinosaurs. 'God bless you.' He's so patronising.
It must be the egg that comes first, not the chicken. I agree with Jamie. Chloe: 'God you're dead clever, I would never think it.' Lol. Chloe, put some clothes on already.
Chloe is flashing her arse at John and rubbing her arse on his back. Oh Jesus. He's 'not attracted to her.' Don't blame him!
Nicola is trying to get Bianca to get off with Jamie now because she can't. Bianca 'thinks he's lovely.' Doesn't sound like she does.
Wow, Chloe is getting a warning or rubbing her arse on John. Well, thinking about it, Aaron Frew did less. I guess as a girl you get away with mild sexual assault better. And can't we have that, at least? You men have everything else! I don't see it as a big issue, to be honest. What does John/and or Edward say about it? I'd like to hear their conversation about it after.
They're rattling through the eviction quickly. I like Bianca's nightie she's wearing and her flasher mac. Heidi is crying at James going. Ha, Spencer is, too. Man up. Wow, Heidi and Spencer are still crying. Jedward trying to comfort them. Is Spencer fake crying? I wouldn't put it past him. I think this is just a new dimension to their game, to be honest.
Chloe to Calum: 'Tell me what you like about me and I'll tell me what I like about you.' Calum: 'Your bone structure.' 'What's that?' My least favourite thing(s) about Calum is his weird ears and hair transplant if you were wondering. Oh, and his personality.
Spencer doesn't like getting a hug, even off James C. James C's hugs look great.
Now Spencer is being anti-Jedward too! BOO!
Jamie: 'See them jumping on the bed?' So what?! What do you care if they jump on the bed? It's not your bed. Fuck off. You wouldn't mind banging the shit out of Bianca on the bed, rat face, so zip it.
Bianca is drunk. She's obsessed with killer whales. I didn't see that coming. That's like Calum suddenly announcing he's into panpipes.
TAPS ON TIMES for Jamie and Bianca! Yuck. She must be desperate. He's gross. She's gone down in my estimation now.
Ooh I saw this on the live feed last night, 'I've had a worse life than you' one upping is as low as it gets. Lowest common denominator. Stacy and Jessica: 'I've been slapped around.' 'I've been through worse.' Shut up. Gross. Don't use your life experience as a bargaining chip.
What is the point of this Jessica idiot? She's come in the house, with a boyfriend, tried to get off with Calum and is now shouting about her awful life. Yeah, it is pretty awful. Tragic looking at it from here. What a loser. Also Kim buried her stillborn baby, so she wins/ loses.
I've started liking Stacy now, just because I'm familiar with her and know her personality. She was there on day one! She's a survivor.
Oh God, Kim is kicking off at Nicola again. Tiring. I'm worn out. Kim: 'I don't leave things.' Aint that the truth!
Nicola is drunk. 'Go to the diary room and don't ever come back.' We wish! I would end up punching Kim so I think Nicola is being very restrained. Kim is like a mum or gran out of a Virginia Andrews novel. She shitstirs then acts the innocent! 'Here just get in this scalding hot bath...'
Kim in the DR: 'Nicole is the Mafia.'
Calum said goodnight to Kim and Bianca called him a 'kiss arse', ha. Kim is still calling Nicola 'Nicole.' That whole argument was literally caused by Calum saying goodnight.
Kim: 'Don't start! You want to be punished? You aint seen nothing yet. You want trouble? By Christ you're going to get it.' Uh oh. Threats!
The look of glee on Spencer's face is hilarious.
Bianca pipes up with 'bore me later.' She's so drunk she's got subtitles. At least this meant her and Jamie didn't get any action tonight.
Nicola is a good friend to Bianca. Why does Nicola have her hand over one eye? 'You're an old lady.' Haha.
Ooh, Jamie sticking up for Nicola! Kim: 'You're a chicken livered bunch... chicken livered shits.' Stern Big Brother is coming over the tannoy. This is the kind of ten minutes of Big Brother you have to watch twice just to get all the facial expressions in.
I love it when one person is in the DR and it's all kicking off outside, and they obviously don't have enough staff on to cope with a row.
Ooh, Jamie coming for Kim! Stern Big Brother sounds panicked. 'Jamie should not leave the bedroom!'
Look at the rage in Jamie's eyes! Aggressive little prick. Appearing as if you're going to lay out an old age pensioner is not a good look. Spencer got up to defend him, aw, haha.
Kim: 'You're a bunch of chinless wonders! Cowards!'
Where did all the security even come from? It's like they just appeared out of nowhere. Outside contact! Hahaaa.
Bianca looks happy, like she's used to this on a night out. It definitely has Northampton town centre vibes, but without getting bottled.
You can tell Spencer thinks James is an idiot for shouting at an old woman. Don't get me wrong, Kim is batshit crazy and totally wrong/ psycho, but these people are sent to test you. How you react proves who you are as a person, Jamie. But we already knew who he was, didn't we?
Talking of cowards, where's Calum while all this is kicking off?
I love James Cosmo sitting in the garden looking disgusted.
Jamie: 'I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire.' Not very nice.
Kim: 'You're an adulterer!' Haha. The security guard has got drink all down her back. That security guard should get danger money. Where's the one who shit up Bear? He could deal with an angry Kim I reckon. Kim: 'Oh, lovey, these ratbags, they put me through Hell' to security. I think Kim actually has some sort of problem. She shouldn't be in there.
I wish we could have seen more of that! I feel cheated. Half the show should have just been that.
I really feel like Nicola could win at this point, off the back off this madness. And I wouldn't be that upset about it. In fact, I'd like to have her in my corner in an argument! What has become of me?