Celebrity Big Brother 2017: Fuckin' hell

Worst bits

I just voted to save Austin, Speidi and James C (hey, big spender). I think Stacy will be safe and I want Angie to go.
Ugh, Emma has got her hair in that bad style again. I like her coat, though. But not the rapist gloves.
Whhhhhhat so the housemates have to kick one out?! I just voted for James C! If they kick him out, I'm going to be pissed. They could tell us that earlier! It moves the goalposts a bit.
Why is Calum upset that Jasmine woke up in bed with him! Still trying to manage his image? It's getting boring now. He'll be on her like a rat up a drainpipe if his mum goes.
Look at the state of that room, it looks filthy. Calum and Jamie almost having a 'slutbucket' moment eyeing up Bonka.
Jedward 'risk their lives every day squeezing their junk into skinny jeans.'
Jamie doesn't like Jedward cos they're not like he was at 25. What, knocking up a racist?
Why is Spencer growing that beard! Groo.
Nicola did not 'trap' her boyfriend by getting pregnant, Twitter idiots. Takes two to get pregnant. If he doesn't want a baby, he should wear a condom.
Why is everyone on the block asleep! You think they'd be worried. Obviously high tension there.
They have to give each other anonymous punishments / reward. Jedward are going to perform three albums' worth of material for Jamie, haha.
Spencer calling Calum: 'Mummy's boy, ego maniac and two faced.' Haaaa!
Jedward on slop! Jasmine reading mean tweets, what a shame. I can't believe she's affected by it. She's so heartless. I like Stacy's secret glee.
Austin still living off the Marc Jacob files. He met Spencer and Heidi and called her a bitch. Spencer is calling it as fake news. Spencer is getting quite aereated.
Spencer: 'I don't patrol the borders, do I look like Donald Trump?' Both surly blondes.
Jamie is on a date with Jedward and James Jordan is in prison (of sorts).
Jedward just eat chicken and grapes. That's healthier than my diet. I'm liking the volume on Jedward's hair today.
Jasmine: 'How dare people say things on Twitter?' They dare!
Why does no one go after Bianca? Has she got a boyfriend?
Does anything ever come out of James J's mouth that's not a wind up! He does make me laugh despite myself sometimes. Don't tell anyone.
Jasmine throwing her mic (doing a Chima) and calling Big Brother a cunt. Rude! OMG she's frying her microphone. That seems a bit dangerous/ unhygenic. She's worried about her 'reputation'. Lol. Too late, man, too late.
Everyone is getting booed except James C! He'll be the one to go, ha. I can't hear a chant of 'get someone out.'
Angie is first out! She's pretending she's pleased. Calum is pretending he's sad. Angie nearly walked into the door. The double staircase confusion again.
This interview isn't even worth talking about. Zzzz. Angie still pretending she doesn't know what a gameplan is. Speidi will be pleased to see her go. Stop calling everyone babes! It's like the GC is back. Oh God, she's not back, is she? Angie calling Spencer 'a diamond.'
I hope Speidi are just laying low before they attack. I don't like this 'toned down' Speidi.
The weekend from Hell has begun! Austin looks really nervous! He'll be OK though.
And we're back!
So the housemates have to evict the most boring housemate. They will either fudge it or evict James C.
OMG the new housemates. I don't even know who two of them are. CHEAP. Great, a cut price Charlotte Crosby. Kim Woodburn and... someone else. Chloe, Jessica and Kim.
Argh, Emma in the house. Eek, new housemates with masks on. Creepy.
OK, the housemates have to write down the names of the housemates they want to evict. But it should be who's the dullest.
So far votes for Stacy, Bianca, James Jordan, Austin, Jedward, Calum. OMG Calum has had two votes, from James J and Jamie! OMG, Austin, Calum, Jedward and James C all have 2! Stacy voted Austin! OMG Austin is out! He's not the dullest! This is bullshit. At least he's not going out via the public's hand. 'It's time to cull the dull.' Catchy.
Stacy got her revenge on Austin there! Big time. I guess he wanted to go home and see his boyfriend. anyway.
So the housemates didn't know he would get voted out off the back of that. I wish it had been Calum!
You know what I was saying about Geordie Shore people and how I was happy there was none in there? ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH.
Poor Austin. He didn't deserve that. He's not the dullest! The poll should be null and void. I'm pleased James C survived, but not at the (Arma)cost of Austin. 
Austin won't call Speidi Speidi, he won't give them that satisfaction.
I'm not sure Austin is that gutted to go, really. He seems OK. He's probably relieved in a way. But as a viewer, I'm not.
Austin: 'The British people fell in love with me.' He's like Princess Diana.
OMG. Austin has no best bits. Because they couldn't be bothered to do best bits for everyone. I bet they had James C's best bits ready. WHAT A JOKE! How cheap ass of them. Kim Woodburn instead of Austin. Fuck you, Big Brother. Austin didn't deserve that. NOT A GOOD SWAP. Bollocks.