Thursday, 4 August 2016

Celebrity Big Brother UK 2016: Artificial sleaze

What trash awaits us on CBB tonight? Sexual assault? A fight? An ejection? I've heard something kicks off but I have no idea what. Ooh Bear looks like he's going MENTALZ in the coming up bit. Bring it on!
Frankie: 'Beans on toast, is that breakfast?' No. Well, yes for other people.
Bear is issuing orders: 'Get in the chair and face the wall. Frankie sit on the zebra.' Biggins: 'Is there anything Frankie won't do?' Yes, have his own career and talent and stop mentioning his sister.
This task is just a license for some housemates to abuse others. Which is actually quite a good idea for a task, really, if you think about it.
Aubrey: 'Heavy D has become the most disgusting thing on earth to me.' She speaks for a nation.
Bear is being such a dick... bet he's too scared to ask Aubrey for a snack today though. I liked her palm-reading, with her telling him he's an arsehole. Is 'I'm going to get my boyfriend to kick his ass' a threat? It's like an indirect threat. Bear is being so so passive aggressive to Aubrey. He's SUCH a douche.
Sad hearing Sam talk about her partner. Really sad. And also great strategy, ha.
So for the task they have to not show their emotions. Ricky should do well. Why does Chloe look like she's crying!? Oh cos Heavy D is pestering her.
Loved Chloe's nip slip and Grant 'Kenny Brain' Bovey's 'fuck it, I'm gay' before snogging Frankie. Hilarious!
James is worried about Grant's kiss with Frankie being more entertaining that his game, ha.
Biggins accusing Lewis of being a gameplanner and then saying 'we all know who we're going to vote for next.' Bit rich.
Bear daring Chloe to snog him! Smooth. Heavy D is peering out the window like a stalker. Chloe: 'Why does everyone always think I'm a stripper?' Haha.
Marnie said she's snog Bear 'for a dare'. Lewis going on about some imaginary 'squad' again. How old is he?
Chloe is worried Renee is going to be annoyed that Chloe has stolen her man! HAHAHA. 'He's hers.'
Heavy D and Renee are both FUMING! Haha.
Heavy D in the DR: 'You can't trust anyone. She played me.' How?! She didn't even kiss you. His misery gives me pure joy. Renee: 'How is your boyfriend going to feel?' HAAAA. Like you care about her BF. Get a grip old lady, Bear doesn't fancy you. Renee is 'disappointed.'
I liked Bear trying to save Chloe from Renee. Almost chivalrous. Renee going on about her boyfriend. Why are you furious and disappointed about two kids having a laugh then? STFU.
Bear and Chloe still kissing (not for a dare this time). He likes kissing her ginormous lips.
Ooh handbags in the bedroom with Bear and Heavy D. Heavy D: 'You're giving it lemon.' Someone is a bit sour. Aggressively squaring (or should that be rounding) up to someone? Heavy D is pretending he's defending Biggins. 'He put his foot on my bed.'
Renee aggressively circling Chloe like that! Not cool. She's a psycho, too.
Bear has smashed a window. Don't fuck with the fixtures and fittings, bitch. Have some respect. What a tool. He's getting a tell off from Big Brother and sent to the David Gest suite.
Bear: 'what the fuck have I done wrong?' Broken a window.
Frankie is 'terrified'. He wants a booze ban and declared Bear 'terrifying.' He said he wanted three people out. Which three?
Bear: 'OPEN THIS FACKING DOOR NAW.' Is that you Megan McKenna? Ha, he smashed the door. SECURITY! I think he was feeling claustrophobic.
'Damage to the Big Brother property.' And all he got was a formal warning! 'You threw a recepticle.' Tough talk.
I did like it when he went 'hopefully see you in the morning.' He does make me laugh a bit, I can't help it. If you had to rate housemates in order of entertainingness (yes I know not a word) he'd be in the top tier.


Unknown said...

Heavy D is living in cloud cuckoo land thinking he will get Chloe . She don't even like him in that way .
I know it was all about Heavy D, Chloe & bear but why are we not seeing something of the 2 that are facing evictions this week ?
Boring or not . Are they still in the house .
I wanted to see a slow motion replay of the window that bear smashed from another angle .
Bear is doing something which the other housemates not and that is to be crazy and cause drama .

n.k. said...

SIT!!!ha ha ha...Barbara Woodhouse could not have done It better.

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