Sunday, 14 August 2016

Celebrity Big Brother UK 2016: Coco pops a cap in your ass

CBB is like the worst sort of Groundhog Day at the moment. So chronically boring, no matter how much sex or arguing happens.
I liked Bear waking up and saying 'Has anyone seen Chloe?' Bear and Heavy D make a noise like me in the morning. It's fun to squawk in the morning.
I am amused by how much the others are annoyed by Bear. But that is my only source of amusement in the entire show so it's a bit hollow.
Bear doing the shopping list. Ordering fags and fake tan. I like Renee not rising to Bear's bait of ordering seven manicure kits and condoms. Oh, hold on, she went in the bedroom and went nuts, haha.
The sanctimonious crew are going to stop Bear eating food. How?! Good luck with that. I'm amazed no one has punched him yet. They have pretty good self restraint.
Heavy D is calling Renee out for not washing up, ha. He's brave! Heavy D has ALWAYS got a slice of toast in his hand. Katie looks traumatised by the washing up row. Some people just grew up in in soft environments and can't handle shouting. Bear is stirring it up, too. Renee has a real sense of humour failure. Heavy D: 'If it's not true, why are you so touchy?' to Renee. Lol. She's crazy. 'I am somebody's mother!' So what? Then BB told Bear off for goading Renee, but Heavy D started it!
Bear is so camp at times, especially when dressed as a pirate. Bear is not responsible for Renee being unhinged. That's on her. She's NUTS.
Renee is after an Oscar here, trying to get Bear kicked out, while giving veiled threats. Should have kept Chloe in to occupy Bear. You took away his toy!
Heavy D: 'It's like a dictatorship, like 1950s Cuba.' I'm liking Heavy D sticking up for himself AND knowing what a dictatorship is.
Aubrey is so up Renee's arse, it's tragic. Minion! Renee trying to make friends with Bear; I can't work out if it's real or not. 'I've been mean!' You have been mean. But Bear's not the one crying about it.
Renee: 'My bad behaviour has gone to bed with me here.' Then straight after they make up, Big Brother plays the nominations. They are exacerbating the situation!
Ooh, they're showing noms on the screen! Bring it! I love Bear's excitement at the arguments that will follow.
Frankie nommed Lewis for being Bear's bitch and Marnie for being Lewis's bitch. Fair comment. Frankie: 'I'm cute in the diary room.' Er. I'm never going to win my bet on him, am I?
Sam nommed Heavy D for eating too much and 'telling lies'. What lies? And Lewis for being friends with Bear. I like Bear rubbing salt in the wound, as if it were needed!
Lewis put up Renee and Bear (aka Colin). Aubrey put up Heavy D for being 'emotionally unstable' and Lewis for being 'amazing.' Eh?
Heavy D nominated Renee for being 'sly, devious, controlling and two faced' and for 'not doing any washing up' and 'barking orders.' I love it! 'This house is not the Mafia.' Good point. He also nommed Katie for being pointless. Good choice if a bit of a waste.
Marnie nommed Heavy D for saying 'you can't fall in love in two weeks' and James for having a brain.
James nominated Aubrey for 'telling him how to conduct himself.' In what way!? And Heavy D for eating too much. I love Bear winding Aubrey up about James! Haha. James was giggling, ha.
Renee nommed Heavy D for being 'weak and disloyal' and Lewis for making everyone 'feel some type of way' (like a loony cunt, in her case).
Katie nominated Heavy D for 'making her cry more than twice' and James for being a threat. Fatboy nommed Lewis for the usual reason and Heavy D for squawking in the morning! WTF.
Bear nommed Renee and Ricky in an amusing fashion in the DR. Fayboy is SO under the radar.
Ooh, Bear, Heavy D, Lewis and Renee are up. Hope Renee goes. Or Lewis.
Aubrey is being a twat to James, he's allowed to nominate her if he wants. She's being a div. 'You're fake!' No, you're misunderstanding the rules of the game. You've obviously been bugging the crap out of him.
Bear is pouring cooking oil around the garden. Fatboy's response: 'It is what it is.' TV GOLD, not. The Heavy D spilt cereal everywhere. Why don't the others just relax a bit? They're coming off like uptight freaks. Coco pops! I hope they don't replace the food, though. Food waste is bad.
Heavy D's tell off was amazing. 'I did it cos Bear did it!' Grow up. 'If you can't interact nicely with your other housemates take yourself off to the bedroom.' I loved Big Brother telling them to basically go tidy their room, ha. That Big Brother did not sound scary, though, he sounded like a work experience kid. They need someone with a bit more gravitas for that.
Katie W finally did something for her best bits; shouted at someone to clean up. I was getting flashbacks to my mum there.
Aubrey still butt hurt about James in the DR. Get over it. I don't think he has a problem with women. You obviously just get on his nerves and I can't really blame him.
God; what an unholy mess. And I don't just mean the Coco Pops on the kitchen floor. Is this series over yet?


Unknown said...

I can't believe how pissed off Aubrey is with James for nominating her. She should get over it & move on.
I liked the way James walked away (eventually).
I was expecting more from Katie when the coming up bit.
Shows coming to a end soon I think . 2 more weeks at least

n.k. said...

Look, I might be wrong....But Its just my opinion, you might not agree,how can I say this without upsetting anyone? I dont think Fatboy even likes Bear, Just Sayin!

n.k. said...

O.M.G Why did Saint Ricky nom Lewis? All he did last week was make him smile and laugh seriously mate!....You watch this cunt throw Bear under the bus now he himself is in danger of eviction...Theres no need for that,hes gone to far now,even for me etc.You wait the two faced vain slimey twat....Anyway rant over,great podding Lynds as always. xxx