Celebrity Big Brother UK 2016: I call dibbies

New world moron

Early morning tell off times. Nom chat crack down. Turning the hot water off. Original punishment, Big Brother! Good one. I liked it when they used to put people up for eviction who didn't toe the line.
I don't blame Bear for walking off when James tried to call another house meeting. It was the oldies chatting shit about noms!
Saira is not mates with Grant just cos they're fellow oldies. I love Saira's hate for Bear. Looks like Bear's gonna go on the rampage today. Bring it on!
Who knew Renee had a soft spot for Bear? Saira doesn't want to see 'the other point of view.' No kidding.
Renee warning Bear to leave Saira alone, interesting.  She's keeping him in line, or at least trying to. Renee needs to give those PJs a wash at this point, I think.
Lewis 'fell in love with Biggins'. What are you, bisexual? Ooh Grant knows the other oldies nominated him. 'Snakey McSnake.' Good one.
Lewis: 'Bear speaks before he thinks which is kind of an art form.' Say what? He won't be saying that later on.
Chloe does not fancy Heavy D, despite what the boys say. Heavy D: 'I'm not getting played again.' Lewis telling Heavy D what 'all girls like.' He knows what girls want.
Bear thinks James, Biggins and Saira are illuminati. Weeeellll.
Saira apologising to Bear for calling him a dickhead as it 'made her a bad mother.' Shut up. Looks like she's trying to cause a row mid-apology.
Ah, the Big Brother talent show. A BB staple. Nothing will ever top Chantelle's singing. 'American's answer to Louis Spence, Frankie Grande.' That's not a compliment. Renee 'knows a soft spot to bury the bodies.' Ha. Aubrey looks gorgeous, loving her red lips.
Saira is wincing at Katie's singing, bit rude.
Renee is crying at Grant's motivational speech, lol. Fatboy is having to do his own doof doofs. Chloe's magazine posing was funny. James and Saira's talkshow would be good in real life. Why is everyone getting so angsty? I can't work it out. 
Is Sam Fox going to get boobs out? Oh no, she's singing. Lewis and Bear are grinding on her. She's a lesbian. Hold on, is she considered bisexual? She was one then the other. And Marnie is bi! They need to give Biggins what for.
Sam Fox is calling BS on the showmances. Magazine deals! That's my girl. Saira: 'He wants to get his tongue down somebody's throat.' Ha.
Are Bear and Renee going to fuck? Interesting when he was confiding in Renee about Lewis and Marnie. What an unlikely friendship. I like it when that happens in the house, like Lauren Harries and Courtney Stodden.
Bear is pissed out of his face. There was some weird chemistry going on with them there. Renee said, 'If you were going to kiss someone, it would be me.'
I knew Bear was going to see Renee out a second later when Lewis made a jibe about her being 'his missus.' Bear: 'I'll kiss who I want to kiss.' Then going on about calling dibs like Marnie is front seat of a car. Classy. Lewis: 'I aint got dibs, it's up to her.' Chivalrous. How much have they had to drink? Looks like the friendship between Lewis and Bear is done.
Bear in the DR: 'You can't call dibs on fuck all in here.' Lewis: 'I call fucking dibs.' Marnie: 'That turned me on.' Marnie is being passed round by the blokes in there metaphorically.
Why is Marnie yelling at Heavy D now? She's actually stupid (and trash). Lewis is turning on Heavy D now.
Heavy D saying 'I don't give a shit about that' about Chloe. GROSS. Lewis: 'You wrote her a love poem last night.'
Fatboy is sticking up for Chloe! YESSSSSS! Finally he speaks and says something worthwhile. Then Heavy D went and apologised. Ha!
Marnie apparently has no say in whether Bear wants to kiss her. Marnie: 'It's disrespectful to Lewis.' NO it's disrespectful to YOU! Arghhh! Wake up. The women in this house are letting themselves be treated like doormats. This is one of the the most sexist Big Brothers ever. No, not sexiest. Sexit. What an accolade. I guess this is what you get when you scrape the barrel for contestants.