Monday, 14 July 2008

Big Brother 9: Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now

How does Dale know what 'election music' is? I doubt if Dale could spell 'election.' *insert erection joke here*
God I hate Mikey. The only reason you're awake in the day, Mikey, is because you go to bed at about 10pm at night. NOT FUN FOR THE LATE NIGHT VIEWER. You boring bastard. The sound of your voice is about as lovely as eating glass.
His whole hair in the ears theory was utter shite. I loved Rex riling him.
Darnell's surname is Swallow! That's quite funny. I also know from my Heat consumption that Stuart's surname is Pilkington. Sexy! Mohamed's surname is Mohamed! Tee hee.
Heaven and Hell task: I was a bit disappointed when Rex read 'imminently' as 'intermittently'. It's weird how you can go off someone, isn't it?
Darnell chose all the nice people (except Dale, who's a pillock). I wonder why he didn't chose Sarah? I normally don't like it when BB engineers storylines, but it was well needed at this point.
So, what did they get in said 'Heaven'? Filtered water! Whoop-de-doo!
Hell seemed like a bit of a trip hazard for old Mikey, bless him. It must be quite disconcerting to have his house cut on half. What would Mario say? (get over it!) Naughty BB.
It was funny when Rex got twitchy about Becks cooking. How quickly Heaven loses it's shine!
Darnell said HOH which made me pine for BBUSA. Come back broadband, I wanna watch it! I liked it when he said 'Yes Sir.' too. Sooo American. Darnell to win!
I was amused by Rebecca said she wished she'd gone to Magaluf with the girls instead of into BB. She's pretty much acted like she was in Magaluf anyway. Hmm, Rebecca, why can't you stand Mohamed? (racist!) I love calling people racist.
Mikey declared the angels 'looked like a bunch of twats'. Cue Daily Star headline that he can see again- no, he's just a sour cunt. Surely he'll never win it.
Rex looked quite creepy as an angel. I saw Rex in the NOTW getting a lap-dance! I went off him a bit then too.
Becks handled the whole task with the calm and reserve I expected from her (i.e. none). She's unbearable! I hope she gets chucked out, she's really a revolting person. Note: it's also probably not best to say the words 'I've resorted to sucking plasticine penis' on TV. That could come back to haunt you.

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