Saturday, 15 September 2007

What Not To Wear

How much does this SUCK without Trinny and Susannah? Yet I still like it more than Supernanny.
I want to know what qualifies Mica Paris to be a style expert. She's a singer! Her clothes are rank, too. She looks like a shiny sausage. Everything she wears looks like she's off to the office Christmas party. She has lovely teeth though, but that still doesn't qualify her to tell people to burn their tracksuits. And the false eyelashes! And the hair! So much hair. Less is more, love.
And as for Lisa 'so-shit-she-was-sacked-from-Britain's-Next-Top-Model-presumably' Butcher. ERGH. Her hair is fucking horrible. She looks like Cruelle De Ville. She's like a snotty, cold, charmless older sister looking down her nose at you. 'Oh you do have a GREAT body!' she lies to poor bastards having to strip off in front of a three way mirror and a camera man. Mica isn't much better. Where is the love? All their clothes are AWFUL. Waistcoats are NEVER in fashion. EVER. At least Trinny had a nice line in stripy dresses.
This week they made over some 'sports-women' to make them more feminine. Why bother? Haha. They are just going to get all sweaty again.
FUCK ME. They made the first one look so bloody awful. They made her look like Trisha Goddard! On what planet is she considered a style icon? She did look more feminine but her hair was NOT good. Bring back the trainers!
The second one definitely looked more glam. The clothes were pretty and her hair looked nice. She looked kind of suicidal though. Nice hair but now depressed! Back to the rugby pitch then.
What not to wear? Anything you feel uncomfortable or weird in. Or anything the presenters wear. NEXT!


Red said...

What's wrong with Supernanny? We watch it religiously, then congratulate ourselves heartily on our child-free status. Who'd want the little fuckers?

lightupvirginmary said...

I know what you mean, it is good contraception TV but I just find it a bit hard-going at times.

Ossian said...

I laughed out loud at your description of Mica Paris. I met the person who ghost-wrote the Trinny and Suswotsit books the other day. Imagine you need ghost writers for something like that. You would think even ghost writers would find better things to haunt.

Anonymous said...

Oh my word at last I've found someone who thinks the same as me! I know that I must sound awful but you were so right about what they did to the first athlete, she looked awful when they'd finished. I thought she looked like a transvestite. Don't get me wrong I think its brilliant that the people who go the show feel great afterwards but Lisa and Mica wouldn't know what class is, if it smacked them in the mouth.

lightupvirginmary said...

surely everyone feels the same as us?
If not, they should. :-)