What Not To Wear

How much does this SUCK without Trinny and Susannah? Yet I still like it more than Supernanny.
I want to know what qualifies Mica Paris to be a style expert. She's a singer! Her clothes are rank, too. She looks like a shiny sausage. Everything she wears looks like she's off to the office Christmas party. She has lovely teeth though, but that still doesn't qualify her to tell people to burn their tracksuits. And the false eyelashes! And the hair! So much hair. Less is more, love.
And as for Lisa 'so-shit-she-was-sacked-from-Britain's-Next-Top-Model-presumably' Butcher. ERGH. Her hair is fucking horrible. She looks like Cruelle De Ville. She's like a snotty, cold, charmless older sister looking down her nose at you. 'Oh you do have a GREAT body!' she lies to poor bastards having to strip off in front of a three way mirror and a camera man. Mica isn't much better. Where is the love? All their clothes are AWFUL. Waistcoats are NEVER in fashion. EVER. At least Trinny had a nice line in stripy dresses.
This week they made over some 'sports-women' to make them more feminine. Why bother? Haha. They are just going to get all sweaty again.
FUCK ME. They made the first one look so bloody awful. They made her look like Trisha Goddard! On what planet is she considered a style icon? She did look more feminine but her hair was NOT good. Bring back the trainers!
The second one definitely looked more glam. The clothes were pretty and her hair looked nice. She looked kind of suicidal though. Nice hair but now depressed! Back to the rugby pitch then.
What not to wear? Anything you feel uncomfortable or weird in. Or anything the presenters wear. NEXT!