Thursday, 27 September 2012

Channel 4 Drugs live: The ecstasy trial 2 (Keith Allen finally turns up)

So here I am again. I said I'd do this blog, and I'm damn well doing it but there's people here and I'm drunk cos it's my day off tomorrow, so I'll do my best.
Why is Keith Allen being so shirty about his past drug use? Everyone knows he was a huge caner. He's coming off like a total prick. This former MP Evan Harris took an E to 'support scientific research.' Try telling that to your mum after a big Saturday night.
LOL my boyfriend's friend who was here just got picked up by his mum, sorry - girlfriend - and got in trouble cos they've been drinking all day. He basically just got forced to say goodbye and leave quick-smart. That was funny.
If Keith Allen hasn't had proper E since 1988, what the fuck was I taking in the 90s?
Isn't Keith Allen a bit old to be taking drugs? He's like an OAP. He's still moaning about the quality of the drugs. It's because you've taken so fucking many! That's why you can't feel anything.
Keith Allen just declared himself a 'renowned gurner'. Or, as I like to call it, a massive cunt. He's complaining about the editing like a Big Brother contestant. What a knobber.
Wicked, Dr Christian just told us, 'if you are going to do a pill, just do a bit and see how you feel.' Good advice. Just do a quarter like my friend SWIM.
The Tuesday blues; lol! Is that official medical terminology? Ha to that guy saying 'you need a good couple of days after to 'reflect'. Yes, reflect on a boxset of Breaking Bad and a packet of valium. That's not reflecting, it's just being a couch potato.
Ecstasy takes longer to recover from than cocaine; that's because cocaine makes you high for half an hour and E makes you high for a whole night. It's simple maths.
Captain Killjoy is telling us about all the bad bits. Mistress Mustard jacket (sorry, Professor Val Curran) is disagreeing.
I'll say it again: There's no doubt whatsoever E affects your long term memory. So does weed, so does booze, so does a traumatic event when you're younger. I agree with this Professor. That woman is kidding herself to think the effects are short term. I can't even remember my own phone number. I need to go to Derren Brown's memory palace and do a ram-raid.
SAS guy felt 'like an empty windsock' after doing E. Do you ever feel like a paperbag? Now he's speaking to Dr Adam Winstock. This is getting confusing. Windsock... Winstock. I think only Keith Allen can clear this one up.
I've seen these American MDMA therapy sessions on a documentary before. Surely the Feds should be onto her by now? Mind you, she is hiding up in the trees, like Katniss in Hunger Games. 'Let's do E and talk about your abusive father.' Um, no.
Fuck me, she looks wasted. Her eyes are all over the place, and she's stroking her leg. I'd be like 'let's talk about kittens.' Is the therapist high, too? They've got some good E (sorry, X) over there. Ha, she's got down-turned mouth, too. *esadface* Looking at you gurning isn't going to help change minds, to be honest.
Jon Snow: 'it's a big nut to crack.' Why do they keep saying things based on the guest's names? I think it's cos everyone's off their tits.
Oh Christ, it's the plastic glowing brain again. Save us.
OK we're onto the ex-politician taking the E now. He's doing it all in the name of science, like Walt. He looks confused. He's not feeling 'loved up.' He's fighting against it! He is gurning, though. So all I've learned from this show is that what I've learnt from this is if you're a boring bastard or a miserable killer you won't get much out of a pill.
Was Keith Allen on a pill or what, did we ever even find out?! He's a fucking sourpuss.
Oh we're now hearing what the people in the survey said. Did they fill in the survey when they were high?
Keith Allen is bragging about having decent drug connections. What a fucking loser. Johnny 'Country Life' Rotten did the same thing on Question Time and it was the same feeling of your dad going 'this has got a good beat'. Grow up, beardy. Lily must be hiding behind a pillow right now.
'Are you a drugs counsellor?' 'No, I'm a substance misuse practitioner.' Christian gave him short shrift after that.
I was expecting a lot more from tonight's show but it was just more of the same old drivel. What was the point of it? Just to piss off the Daily Mail? 
Let's face it; those who are drawn to drugs are going to do drugs, and those who aren't, won't. More information, yes, but a giant plastic brain and a showboating Keith Allen? It's not science, and it definitely aint cricket.

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