Thursday, 6 September 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Harvey needs TP for his bunghole...

... but he'll just use Coleen's bed instead.
So I read that two nights ago Harvey showed Coleen his bunghole (and got a warning for it) and they didn't show it. I really hope they're saving that treasure for tonight, otherwise I really am going to have to doubt the absolute clowns running this show.
Ooh, they ARE showing it! So Harvey's wiping his arse on Coleen? It's like Jay McCray never left. I think we could have done with seeing a few more minutes of that. They must have cut a lot out of that. That's Coleen's third sexual assault in 24 hours.
If Steve Owen has decreed you've crossed the line, you've crossed the fucking line. 'No excuse'. 'Tut tut tut!' Pious, or what? Harvey is literally on the shit list! This is the most interesting thing Harvey's done in the house.
I like the way Sitch and Julian have slowly warmed to each other. I thought Martin was looking a bit haggard yesterday, it's cos he was hanging.
Coleen clearly doesn't want her honour defended. She's not stopped bitching, has she? Minus voting points for her. Harvey isn't seeming very apologetic. He will wipe his bum in your face! And you should count yourself lucky!
Harvey: 'I can handle my drink.' Evidence shows otherwise. Martin: tell-off times! 'There's a line between showing someone your arse and your arsehole.' There's a quote for the beginning of any respectable podcast. If I know how to do it, I'd have it at the start of mine!
Showing someone your arsehole is NOT banter. And it's definitely not mint banter.
Sitch: 'French tomatoes. 75 cents.' He's not quite got it yet, has he?
The 'real' vs 'social smokers' debate. Do you think lung cancer discriminates between the two?
Nicotine fiends. I make that nicofiends. Harvey is wiping a whopping two packets of cigarettes off the shopping list. This isn't 500 bananas. It isn't even Caroline's chocolate order. It IS going to cause World War 3, though, so at least Julie WILL get to see one.
Harvey doing an obnoxious dance in the kitchen. This guy is a first-class knob. He thinks other people kicking off will be good for his game. It won't. It just seals his fate as numero uno dickwad.
Yeah Harvey, you're so 'gangsta' getting your suit dry-cleaned an an apple crumble. West-side!
Sailor task. HMS Nancy boy. Is that sponsored by Brian Molko?
'...will win a haircut by a top celebrity stylist.' But not Lee Stafford. Is that a real lifeguard or a statue?
Top celebrity stylists Thomas and Anita Macmillan. Do they do cancer patients? My boyfriend pays a fiver for his haircut too - in Tooting.
Julian's finally showing his teeth! This is exactly what Harvey wants.
Don't worry, Julie's going tonight, so they'll be awash with fags. £7 for fags. When you put it like that, Harvey's almost making sense. It's just 'banter'! Don't lie though and say it's 'compromise' when it's shitstirring. Harvey should be a stand up comic his banter is so hilarious.
I'm over these evictions already. I already got it. Bye Prince, bye Julie. I bet they're all thrilled to see the back of her. Coleen looked grim-faced.
Oh Coleen, leave it. You won. You know Julian is her best friend, so give it a rest, mmkay?
Big Brother to Martin: 'Did you expect to go?' Took him a full ten seconds to say no. I wonder how much they paid him to go on this show? He must be on his uppers. They must have spent the big bucks on getting The Situation in there.
I really hope Coleen doesn't win this. I really hope it's Julian. I'd like to see Sitch second, then Martin, Coleen, Harvey, then Ashley.
It's weird when they do the season round up when they show's not ended yet. I am emotionless!
Martin's favourite task was spying on other people. It's so unfair that Harvey and Ashley have never been up. I hate to see them lording it in the final.
Don't give Harvey his cliche on top of a cake, please. Sitch being in the finals is a 'dream crumb true'. Martin, spinning for votes right until the end.
I think it's going to be close between him and Julian. Julian FTW! 

No comments: