Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Suit yourselves

I haven't voted tonight, but it seems a certainty that Martin will stay, right? Pedestrian gameplay + a huge fanbase = safe as houses, right?
I'm starting to feel sorry for Julie, but only because Harvey is such a knobend and he's gunning for her so bad. I can't decide who I hate most out of him and Ashley; Ashley's way of talking is so obviously objectionable, but Harvey really is malicious.
Julie is running her passive aggressive shit this morning. Harvey was responding to something you were saying in the gym, Julie. She makes me want to burn my leopard print leggings. At least I don't wear my leopard print leggings with Crocs. That is a no-go zone.
Chicken sandwich gate! Oh Sitch, you're in the shit. Didn't offer Queen Julia a sandwich? You're DONE FOR. Julie is SCARY. 'You always put yourself last.' Imagine if she was your mum. You wouldn't know which way was up.
Ugh I hate this bit where they do their pleas, it's so rubbish. Martin looks like he's been using fake tan shade: radioactive. It's not been that sunny!
Julie: 'I'm a 70 year old disabled pensioner.' You're a dragon. Martin wasted at least three seconds. Prince Lorenzo hasn't got a hope in hell, I think, but I'd like to see him stay.
I like this camp shopping channel task. The chicken fillet bit and the caterpillars was funny, but the edible undies bit took the cake. That was the lols. Julian was virtually sexually assaulting poor Coleen! I would be going mad.
Lorenzo did well at making that order. Good practice for Danica's wishlist when he gets out. My memory is crap, I'd be hopeless.
Brian cocking a snook at the shopping channel; wasn't he on The Mint (ie. Super Casino) for about 5 years?
Julie begging for votes! Subtle.
Julie reminds me so much of Alan Carr when she's dressed up as that newsreader. That's the most sarcastic newsreading ever.
Fucking hell man, nana is the master of mindgamery. That snog she gave Coleen was as good as a headbutt. That's twice Coleen has been assaulted in one day.
Julie had to chain-smoke to 'survive herself'. Ironic. It's like Nadia's year for cigarette wars in that house.
Julie doesn't bear grudges. Harvey doesn't bear grudges. What's that in my back, a knife?!
Shopping budget; they're only in there for 2 more days!
What is that letter with Brian's face on a stamp? Has it got Brian's P45 in it? Oh the rest of the letters from home. My boyfriend HATES the letters from home. Don't get sentimental, it always ends up drivel.
Can Ashley's parents read and write? His nan does his washing for him. There's a surprise. Do you think they'll play Gene's Olympian when he comes out of the house? I suspect not. I saw someone have an epileptic fit in a nightclub once and it was the first time I'd ever heard Olympian playing, and the whole time I was thinking, 'wow, what a cool song.'
'Ashley is snivelling in the toilet.'
Julie's definitely got to be out first. I wanted to put 'Bet Lynched' for my title but my boyfriend said it was hackneyed. Vetoed!
I do feel a bit sorry for her, but not as sorry as she feels for herself. It's just another witch hunt, isn't it? Prince Lorenzo out first! I thought it would be Julie.
Dallas schmallas. I'm gonna watch Beavis and Butthead.
It's cruel to keep the Prince in there for half an hour. You'd just want to go, wouldn't you? All people carping about having 'snouts'. Do they ALL smoke in there?
I don't think this interview is going to be very interesting, do you? He's come out looking beleaguered. I think he wants to go home and eat some of mummy and daddy's lobster.
See that Esso advert? I heard that 'blood is thicker than water but oil's thicker than both of them' line. Illuminati agenda!
Did he even get a cheer? I didn't hear it. Human calculator. He should have calculated those votes better.
Prince is right; Harvey should say the same thing about Mike! He should have got a round of applause then. Brian, organise your interview effectively.
Interesting what he said about Julian not opening up. It kind of sucks going on BB and not opening up, though.
I don't remember Harvey calling Lorenzo 'thick as shit'. I swear we've never seen that clip before. That clip was really mean with loads of people calling him a 'pussy' and stuff.
Prince: 'I don't care, I had fun flirting with her, and I don't feel like there was anything wrong with it.' Thank God. Why aren't more people clapping this? He's not thick as shit. He's a nice guy. Harvey is so horrid. But Harvey still won't get booed and it makes me sick.
Lorenzo is the second person who said they wanted Ashley to win. WHY? What are they seeing that we aren't?
Julie's chewing again! It's Eastenders vs Corrie. Eastenders triumphs. 'Love you'. Yeah, your love is worth less than nothing.
Shit, so she went through the DR (because of her medical condition, old age, I presume) but we should of at least seen her come out of the bottom door. So the crowd don't even get to see her boo her? That's a bit unfair. What about the people who did all the careful colouring in on those signs *Jamie East*?
Oh hold on, she is coming out of a trap door like the witch she is. Why isn't she getting booed? What a fucking fix.
Ew, Julie is chewing gum in her eviction interview. She's trying to control that interview - acting again. Shouldn't be too difficult with Captain Sexist in charge.
I like the way she dealt with that crowd: 'suit yourselves.' The crowd shouting 'who are you?' Who are you? A bunch of ugly fucking chavs, that what. And I don't use the word 'chav' anymore, but it's entirely appropriate here when dealing with that pond life. 
She's keeping her act up well in the interview. How long did she keep it up in the house? About 3 days.
I do like her pink leggings. I think she looks alright.
Julie: 'what you see is what you get.' Well, depending which day it is. She's running rings round him, isn't she?
I loved Julian looking after her, he's so sweet.
Why do they keep showing that moon-faced crowd? So Julie basically liked people running round after her. Is she on the sick?
And that concludes the matter. Get it? Got it... oh, you get the idea.

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