Monday, 3 September 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: It would give hope to pensioners

The Situation likes nominating but can't. Tell us who you would have nominated, then. At least it would be entertaining. Is he telling himself he doesn't like dairy? Not even Dairy Milk? Come on, now. Your country bought us that Hersheys crap that tastes like vomit.
Coleen and Julie's conversation translated: 'I hate you.' I hate you, too.'
Do gold records actually play? I doubt it. #popstarproblems (Note to self, don't do hash tags in own blog.) Extra note to self: don't say 'note to self' in blog.
People are trying to 'sweep Harvey up.' Try harder, please. Marcus: 'The Situation is rinsing out his hair dye.' Funnies. I liked Sitch's reaction to having to sit on the naughty step, it was funnier somehow because he was in the shower and you could just hear him and not see him.
He looks well mardy on the naughty step! Tee hee. I kind of like The Situation sometimes. He's unintentionally funny.
Julian's bringing politics into the nomination room. Ooh, he didn't nominate Sitch! See; Sitch was wise to take his previous nomination so well. I think Julian's warming to the Occasional Table. I wonder if he's going to get an upgrade on his moniker? A nest of tables? A sideboard?
Wow, Coleen and Julian BOTH nominated Martin! Cool.
You're not halfway out the door, Sitch, you're sitting on a fucking step, mate, get a grip. I think people aren't nominating him because they feel sorry for him. I'd like to see him win it in a weird way, some alternate universe.
Ooh just as I said that Julie nominated him. Wow, she didn't nominate Coleen! A bit late now to undig that hole, Bet. What's done cannot be undone. See her come and kiss Sitch full on the lips! How come people aren't calling her a hussy, hmm?
Sitch better hope 'but WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?' woman isn't in the Diary Room today, or he's sitting on that step all day long. I love him sulking, it's heartwarming.
Prince's nominations were spot on. 'Harvey treats women like property' - hallelujah.
Martin nominated Julie for 'dragging people into toilets', lol. So he nominated Julian for lighting up an electronic cigarette as it made the room too hot?! WTF. They should hand that shit out to the homeless and eskimos. 
Martin is really getting on my wick now. SMUG! He KNOWS Julian is a shoo-in to win, and he'll stop at nothing to make sure that doesn't happen. He nominated two power-players. He knows what he's doing.
Why does no one ever nominate this little Ashley prick? He's the worst thing on the planet. He's worse than scurvy. He's worse than the plague.
Even Ashley nominated Martin. Another one with his eye on the prize.
So if Harvey is nominating Lorenzo for flirting with Danica, I presume his next nomination will be for The Situation, right? Oh, no, that didn't happen. Well, knock me down with a feather. If he's so concerned about Danica's boyfriend, then surely he'd be looking out for Danica's boyfriend at home both ways. No. Just in the way that suits him. Hypocritical fuck-knuckle.
Harvey has 'morals'? Could have fooled me. He's a spoilt, sexist little cunt. Fuck you, Harvey. Fuck you sideways.
A super lol for Julie's 'it would give hope to pensioners' if I make it to the final speech. That's the most hilarious thing I've ever heard. She really is clutching at any straw going. She's clutching so many straws she could get a job at McDonalds filling up the dispensers.
Coleen and Prince are right about 'HAM' and their mentality. Teehee, Prince Lorenzo said 'throw me under the bus'. American reality TV cliches RULE.
WTF is this task? Did Mario and Luigi take a wrong turning? Plungers galore!
Martin's 'I didn't get a takeaway' face was fab. Cat's bum lips!
The Situation 'cooked for like two hours, yo.' Who's he, Jesse Pinkman? Aw, Sitch is browbeaten. I feel sorry for him.
Gruel. Is that the English version of slop? Julie's not enjoying it much. Must we watch her retching? Christ.
Sitch on what was said in the DR: 'join your fellow losers and eat your fucking gruel.; That's my sort of paraphrasing. 
My boyfriend is CONVINCED Martin is going to go home this week. He hasn't got a clue. Martin has got a HUGE fan base.
Julian calling Sitch out for attention-seeking and then going 'I don't mean you, people like you.' There's been loads of funny lines tonight. 
Martin's ruffled to be on the block, I can tell by his 'ape' body language.
Did Julie say 'I got ganged up on'? That's funny. She's been stirring that pot for two weeks now. Come on Julie, do it for the pensioners.
Ashley: 'it would be nice for one of us to win.' That aint going to happen, kid. Nice dream, though.
Julie: 'is that what you'd do to your nana?' I would cos my 'nana' was a sour old bitch, just like you. 'It shouldn't be allowed... that's bullying.' Oh, PLEASE. Please! Please! The nana card; I've heard it all now. Is this a newly discriminated against group? Bullying?!
Why is Julie chewing in the DR again? Stop fucking chewing, it's gross! Can you think of any reason they may have nominated you? 'No.' No? Not one reason?! If I was in that house I could think of about 25 billion reasons people would nominate me. What a bighead. 'God forgive them.' Oh, STFU, granny gristle. Get to stepping.
Martin's under the cosh because he's up. Is it a double eviction? It's got to be Julie and Lorenzo to go. I wouldn't be surprised if Lorenzo went before her.
Martin: 'people have seen the dark side of Julie.' Yes, and you helped them see it!
Julie calling Coleen a 'fat arse'. Nice. She's no Jasmine herself, is she?
Fucking hell, man, anyone would think Julie was the first person on the planet to ever be nominated. You can tell Julian wants her out now. Placating her is a full time job.
You gotta hand it to Coleen; she had Julie's card marked from day one. I didn't believe her. But she was right.
I hate the way Julie talks, repeating herself and just going on and on about me, me, me. She doesn't care about pensioners. She's no one's grandma. She's just a bitter, selfish old cow. And still I feel a little bit sorry for her. But not much.

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