Sunday, 2 September 2012

Celebrity Big Brother 2012: Aceeeeeeeeeeeeed

I don't know about you but I'd rather watch Danica's 'flirtmance' than Julie vs Coleen. I'm not normally a fan of 'showmances' but at least hers was audacious and fun to watch. Now we've got to watch two old biddies moaning about who's top dog.
Coleen is giving short shrift to Julie's 'we need to get the fellas out' chat.
Look at Ashley snitching on Julie to Prince Lorenzo! Fucking grass. I wouldn't want to be in an alliance with that little shit; more SPAM than HAM, that one.
Martin loves the Prince being so ruffled. 'You can guess who I'm going after' - dur, that's nomination talk. Martin is such a smarmbox. I'm so onto him.
It's kind of sad to see Julie so isolated in a way. Everything that comes out of her mouth is just so transparent now. How the mighty have fallen.
It's kind of sad to see only two women left, too. Martin knows the rulebook and runs the kitchen *Vinnie Jones*.
Julie's plotting a very devious game... she needs to be outed like Nasty Nick. I like it when Big Brother calls them out and gives them a tell off. Leopard print taken away is one thing, but they didn't ban them from nominating, do they?
Sitch and Prince seem to be getting on very well now their Princess has gone. I guess they're both foreigners in a weird environment. Danica's foot-soldiers.
Prince shouldn't have to apologise to Julie! She was 'in shock, she doesn't remember saying it'. It's not the best excuse in the world, is it?' I was 'in shock, I don't remember punching you in the face, sorry'.
Ashley is so thick I think he should be accompanied by an adult at all times, especially when crossing roads. The only thing I've understood him saying all series is 'yeah'. This letter task is quite good, you get to keep one letter from home and put another one in a vat of 'acid' - ie. green slime.
LOL Julie's letter got the Jesse and Walt treatment. What do you get when you mix Big Brother with Breaking Bad? Top quality entertainment.
I'm glad Ashley didn't get his letter, he can't read anyway, the little twonk. I want to hear him read out someone else's, it will be like when Beavis and Butthead try and read the paper together.
Who's The Situation gonna get his letter from, Snooki?
Oh well, done, Ashley, what a bloody hero. Boo woo.
Julie doesn't bear a grudge. Hmm.
Martin knows how this show works back to front. He's a proper superfan.
My boyfriend hates it when they get the letters from home, he's such a grinch. I'll blub, bet you. I'm such a wuss.
Julie can't even stop chewing gum to read Julian's bloody letter. Julian was annoyed she didn't mention the cat. She did mention the bowls club, though. Coleen's letter was nice, funny and lighthearted. 
This acid house party looks alright. Where's the E?
I think The Situation and Harvey's potential TV show is going to go the same way as Coolio and Terry Christian's cookery show and Stephen Baldwin's plans to make Alex Reid the next James Bond. None of them made it past Barbell media.
Martin Kemp is dressed like a geography teacher tonight.
When I am king, anyone who says 'it is what it is' will be shot in the face without prior warning. In fact, consider this the prior warning. Goodnight!

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