Celebrity Big Brother 2012: The final - 'he's not very evolved'

Lol at the crowd going 'whoop whoop': enough said. That was passe back when CD:UK was on.
Six is rather a lot for a final, no? They're going to have to rattle through housemates like Julie rattles through fags. The interviews are going to be about 30 seconds long. Mind you, in Ashley's case that would be a blessing, bruv.
Jasmine! How we've missed your scrawny evilness. I hope Rhian's got a knife in her cleavage. Danica looks good. Julie's smoking a fag, lol. It's like Jasmine all over again, but aged about... er, 10 years.
I hate these final dinners they do, with all the speeches and BS.
How can Martin show he's a 'dad' in the house when his kids aren't in there? Ashley 'will be shocked if he wins'. He and I both.
Do you reckon Harvey actually thinks he can win it? I do. I'd love to see him hoofed out first. Him or his idiot lapdog.
Ashley attempts to read one sentence of a card. Fails. 
Martin is FULLY expecting to win it. FULLY. I want to see his puckered little mouth when Julian wins.
'Power does go to your head and we enjoyed every minute of it.' says Martin about being evil.
I like the fact Julian thinks hanging out with hetrosexual men is weird.
That was actually quite nice what Harvey said about Ashley: 'I fell in love with the kid.' That was the first time warmed to him in about two weeks.
I like seeing The Situation all humble and normal. There's something grounding about it. Didn't Jersey Shore get axed?
Here we go! Yeah, Harvey SO deserves that big cheer. Has his butthole surfing been forgotten so soon?
Harvey out first! So much for the big cheer, then. Crowd 100% wrong as usual. They should have given him 21 seconds to go. I know: I'm hilarious. WTF is this song? Tis a din.
Ok so we're timing the interviews to see if anyone gets particularly jibbed - probably the winner.
Brian Dowling looks like Eaamon Holmes off to a charity gala. Yeah people have seen what you're like, Harvey, a bellend.
Brian: 'you're used to ladies screaming.' Yes, at knifepoint. We did get to see enough of you: including your bum bum.
Harvey: 'Prince is in MY country. Respect my country.' I didn't know Harvey was the fucking Queen, now? Is he working at passport control? Respect Harvey; respect England. Why are they STILL trying to get housemates to slag off Danica even now?
So Brian tried to get Harvey to look at his own morality but Harvey either misunderstood the question or was too stupid to understand. Nicely dodged.
Ashley aint going to win a gold in Rio in 4 years; not if he keeps smoking like that. Harvey made mistakes so we don't have to, like Louise Mensch. Kind of him. He actually came over OK in that interview, but he's really judgmental. I'm over him.
OK, so Harvey got an 8 minute interview. Not bad, really.
Ashley looks like Peter Andre tonight. Except for when he turned into a swimming pool briefly. And then into Coleen. Technical troubles. Ashley out next. Perfect. See, we've never had an opportunity to evict them before; now we have, they're goners. Not much to be proud of, really. He looks a bit gutted. Good. Never mind, he's used to losing.
Let's see Brian call Ashley out on the pathetic and immature way he treated Rhian. Go on, Brian. Don't let us down, now.
Must be nice to be a man and just get love 'from the crowd' no matter how revolting your behaviour.
I think Brian's said 'lovely' about 500 times. He's NOT lovely. He's a sexist little knob. Also, you weren't friends with Sitch since day 1. He was too busy trying to get in Danica's knick-knocks.
Here's EVIDENCE of his bullying and bad behaviour in these clips! 'That stops there'. YOU don't decide that.
I am sighing through this whole bromance thing. At least we get all this tripe out of the way at the beginning. Why don't you snog if you like each other than much, you little muppets.
If that's what Samantha Brick thinks is 'inspirational' it's no wonder she's thinks a husband who looks like something off The Walking Dead.
Ashley got 8 minutes, too. Next!
I think it will be Sitch out next. And he WAS. And he looked shocked. HA. So much for his 4 million Twitter followers. It's not sunny out! Take your glasses off, douchemobile! I think he's smuggling seeds in those cheeks, he looks like a hamster.
Sitch gave his glasses and jacket to the crowd, that's nice. *EBAY*. I like Sitch, though, despite myself. There's just something a bit loveable about him. Another interview all about Danica.
'She was the first one I saw' - nice. He just went proper Jersey then. I've never heard him speak like that in the house. 'Do you think Danica soured your relationship with the Prince?' Do you think Danica is responsible for civil unrest? Do you think Danica was a key player in the London riots? Do you think Danica has lizard blood? Give it a rest!
Can't believe Julie didn't laugh at 'gangsta momma'. They should have all the ex housemates with mics on as they watch the interviews. Sitch on the naughty step: his sole best bit. Occasional table!
Sitch got 8 mins, too. They do give them fair interviews. Who knew? Well that's HAM canned.
Why is Coleen getting booed?! Pathetic. She's got to be out next. OMG it's Martin. LOL. That Loose Woman loyalty is STRONG, man. Can you imagine if they actually put a decent loose woman in there like Carol McGiffin?
Martin - third. Haha. The smug has been smooshed. Fucking hell, they call Danica out for rinsing; they're rinsing us for cash at every fucking turn. Hypocrites.
Martin is looking quite 'gold'. My boyfriend just said 'no escaping gravity' which is quite cruel. I think he looks very good for his age, what is he, 60? NO, just kidding, he looks good.
'Most charming housemate'? There's a fine line line between charming and smarmy.
Did you think you'd make it to the final? 'Not at all!' You liar, you said different two days ago.
Why is Brian not telling him who nominated him, he told other people. He's also letting him off the hook for his soft nominations.
Don't talk 'gameplans' in interviews, Martin, it's not British. I did like his acting of 'Gold' in the task. I think it was the e-cigarette that did for him. He over-egged it.
Martin got 8 mins too! We're debunking ALL the conspiracy theories.
OMG I'll be soooo disappointed if Coleen wins. Surely EVERYONE wants Julian to win. The final two shows how at odds the crowd and the 'demographic' they're aiming for is with the people who actually vote: ie. people my age. Will they ever get it? Ever?
YES! I'm so glad Julian won and Coleen looked genuinely happy for him, and he looked over the moon. He's shaking! I didn't think it would mean so much to him, especially with him being quite glib at the start, but it seems to mean everything to him now. I hope his career gets a boost now.
Coleen looks nice. I think she's scrubbed up lovely. I'm glad she got runner up, as one in the eye to Julie and Martin both. I think it's fair to say she won the war against Julie by a mile. What do you think Shane Richie makes of it all? He's probably put on Madness to celebrate.
I love seeing Julian all wobbly in the background as Coleen is being interviewed.
THIS is the impact of that pie in Julie's face. That wasn't. Coleen was right about Julie from the start so fair play to her, because I was fooled. But Coleen wouldn't have got as far without her row with Julie.
I wish I had such a romantic story of meeting my boyfriend as 'we met in a bar and I thought he was a dick.'
Coleen's interview: 8 minutes. This is no fun, is it? Her best bit was the QVC shopping task with Julian.
Does the celebrity winner get any dosh? My boyfriend thinks they get the 100K! No way.
Aw, Julian looks cute. His make up looks good. A worthy winner!
Those fireworks are crazy! I think they put on extra just because he said he didn't want them. Julian's in shock.
Julian: 'what is my mother going to say?' I think he's forgotten his pre-planned speech.
Sexual innuendo count: only 1!
Julian is so cool. I'd like to be friends with him. That bit with Julie was cute and she looked thrilled. I'm glad he's unapologetic about their friendship.
Julian on Sitch: 'he's not very evolved'. LOL. Apologising for not being constantly filthy was funny, too. And plugging his tour, too! Nice.
So Julian got 8 mins too. Surely the winner should get longer.
Ha, when he went in and met Sitch and said 'what's your function?' To be an 'occasional table' apparently.
Looks like the 'emotional cold fish' won it, Samantha Brick, you warty old bat.
So justice was finally done, and now I can concentrate on what's important: BBUS. Listen to my podcast which will be up after BOTS (ie. we're doing it instead of BOTS)! I'm pissed, so might say something intelligent.