Friday, 26 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - This is Big Brother, please swear

We're watching this in HD! Got Sky today. Drinking cheapo champagne too! HIGH LIFE.It actually looks quite good in HD. Crisp!
Intro woman: 'Who goes? let's find out shall we.' That's not the well known catchphrase is it?
Another tedious catch up for the 'casual viewer' who Five cares more about than actual fans. What fucked up logic is that, we want the show to appeal to the casual viewer. So you want the show to appeal to people who don't give a shit about it, whilst alienating people who love it? Er, are you stupid? As Bobby would say, 'fucking boneheads'.
Fuck me, is this show only an hour, and about ten minutes so far have been a catch up. I feel like I'm being slowly lobotomised by C5. At least the eviction interview will be mercilessly brief.
Kerry to the Tin Man: 'Lightening, you'd better be careful.' Actual wit!
Diana tales! Wow I forgot to care in 1996. Darryn jerking off over Diana, nice. This is cutting edge TV! PINKY AND PERKY not Pinky and Percy, you knob end. Stop saying it.
Kerry shut up about your fucking kids, don't use that as currency to get us to keep you. People keep saying she's popular, well, so's chlamydia. Speaking AS A MOTHER. well I'm not a mother. I'm speaking as a SENTIENT HUMAN.
My boyfriend is saying 'Brian knows how to sell a phone number after all those years on the Mint.'
What is this magic trick shit about? More contact with the outside world! I don't know why they don't just give them mobile phones and a hotline to the 3am girls (are they still going?)
I liked Jedward annoying Amy by chopping carrots in a noisy fashion. Hey, at least they're cooking, right?
That task was so badly explained- we didn't have any clue what the rules were so couldn't really get involved. I didn't know it was a shopping task. I didn't know anything. Because I was too busy being told what happened yesterday.
Amy's dancing was a bit like a sexual assault. Is that how people dance? I thought you have to pay for that sort of dancing *sexist*.
I hate Kerry talking about the 'British public' like she's a cut above it.
Why has Brian got trousers six inches too long on?
LOVED the booing for Bobby! What is Kerry wearing, she looks like a fairy on top of the Christmas tree. Interesting Brian told them it was a vote to save. I liked Jedward smirking at Sally going. Wow, they're evicting her quick! They're not fucking about.
That eye at the top of the stage looks good. Shame Sally is going as she's a good character even though she's a cunt.
Indoor interview. Looks like they're in a cockpit. First one out is not that embarrassing, as it wasn't a house vote, but a Kerry vote. Only 1% in it.
I prefer Brian's interview style to Davina's. He's asking quickfire questions but they are quite good questions.
Why isn't Brian telling her Kerry did that tantrum as part of a task! Not sure about that edit at the end, especially showing her picking her nose. Where's John Bercow! He should be there supporting his woman.
Marco Pierre White. Hopefully he's rustle up Jedward some snap, crackle and council pop and fuck off again.
Live feed!

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