Saturday, 27 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - I'm not a big fan of William Shakespeare

'What's a flannel?' Bobby is teaching Jedward to shave. Tomorrow, Amy will be teaching them to french kiss.
Amy: 'I get so much make-up sent to me.' Well, still no need to wear it all at once.
Shopping list times! Darryn getting mad at Jedward is just too easy. What are Jedward ordering, Starmix and Transform-a-snacks?
Pamela is sucking all the oxygen out of the room. When will they do the first round of proper nominations? I want to see who Jedward are gunning for.
Jedward prank times! Imagine if Vinnie Jones was in that house, I think he'd have actually stabbed them both to death by now. Loved them torturing Darryn! They've got balls. Poor Darryn, house victim. He has no sense of humour either, he's such a curmudgeon. I really want to show him the door sooner rather than later.
I read in a magazine that Tara, met, got engaged and married her boyfriend all on the same day! That's pretty cool. But it doesn't excuse all her endless psychobabble.
Jedward's bathtime was hilarious, especially one mopping up using his brother. They are so peculiar, I love it.
I thought the secret task was quite funny. Amy looked like she was struggling to read, let alone speak. Amy always has a glazed look on her face like birds are tweeting around her head. But Bobby patronising her was just pathetic, it really is too easy. I feel sorry for her being so thick, it must be rubbish not to be able to understand any fucking thing.
Pamela is getting way too much airtime tonight. Why is she getting a phone call from home? What has she done to deserve it? Wow, that was the most tuneless rendition of happy birthday I've ever heard. That conversation with her daughter was mental, she barely let them speak.
It's quite cute how Paddy liked Sally. It is a shame Sally went.
Tuna and ketchup straight from the can! I swear, Jedward make my eating habits look normal.
Pamela vs Lucien. Like who could we give a shit about less. Pamela would really get in my wick in there. But Darryn is an utter cunt. Honestly, the level of sexism in this house is unutterable. I'm so sick of hearing about 'I'm a man, I'm a real man' and all this fucking bullshit that I've never heard anyone in real life say.
More therapy speak from Pamela! Darryn's got daddy issues? Oh just go home, Pamela. You're not crab eyes. No one will be bothered.
Big Brother still not trending on Twitter, despite the fact Patrick Wolf was trending yesterday! I love Patrick, but his appeal if fairly niche. Must try harder. Live feed, please.

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