Tuesday, 23 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - I am not a sausage, OK?

Listen, Mr Paparazzi, Jedward don't do dishes, they just get plebs like you to do it for them.
OK the musical interludes are getting on my wick a little now. I didn't mind them at first. It just feels like more flim flam and padding which we can ill afford.
At least Lucien idiotface is admitting he fancies Amy now. More bullying of her to come later, then.
Darryn is like a grumpy old git. I love the fact he's getting so wound up by Jedward as they just swan round looking glamorous.
Gang member cleaning rota time! Yeah Pamela can whip those gang members into shape, but she'll never tame Jedward. Hold on, Jedward were cleaning the windows the other day, after they moved in! They've done their bit.
Sally is 'FINE!' Is it all good? Yes, she's super. I liked her showing her teeth a bit anyway.
How do Jedward get their hair to stay up like that! I like them going to eat their food 'in private in the bedroom' and then tipping it down the loo. Been there, done that like a gazillion times. Should have just left it for the others! Their freaky eating makes me appreciate them even more! I like their little red housecoats. The are completely mental, aren't they?
Darryn. Please. Put. It. Away.
Aw, no one wants to watch Jedward's TV show. It wasn't Jedward's fault the coleslaw fell out of the fridge. Sad face.
Uh oh, Jedward tried to pull Amy's knick knocks off. NOW there's going to be trouble. Darryn and Paddy are way too aggressive. Jedward have got a screw loose, so I don't know if they can even be held responsible for sexual assault. Just like Michael Jackson, hahaha.
Oh well, their TV show must go on. I like the fact they're all like 'they need to learn'. Only ONE of them did it. If one of them does a rape, the other one doesn't get a visit from the Tell Off Man. They are seperate entities (sort of).
Sally is speaking sense about Jedward. Darryn is just looking for an excuse to get rid of them.
Big Brother aren't even telling us which one did it! Oh, it was John. Amy's not worried about the sexual assault, she's worried about her arse looking flabby. This is feminism in action.
Sally, it's not the done thing to say you're looking forward to nominating. Also your juvenile baiting of 'authority' ie. the Daily Mail is absolutely ridiculous. It is so petty and insecure, she's like a teenager refusing to tidy her room. I'm half expecting her to get her nose pierced next.
The pap task was actually quite funny, especially as his photos are so shite. Just goes to show how unobservant people are.
How do you become as thick as Amy Childs? I mean, I know tons of people who were dragged up that have brains, sharp wit and a will to learn. It's child abuse to produce humans that dense.
Tara and Kerry taking the piss out of Pamela was cruel. I don't like that sort of thing- Pamela hasn't even done anything as far as I can see, she's just in la la land a bit, but so is half the house!
I wonder what IS on Jedward's rider? I read Eminem's rider today and it was pretty tame. I bet Jedward have got a block of cocaine and a phone book full of prostitutes on theirs.
LOL to Paddy apologising for calling Jedward a sausage. Class.
Bobby starting on Amy. It's too easy, isn't it? Oh he was mad about them laughing at Pamela, was he? No, it's just an excuse to kick a puppy, methinks. It's true, though, they were being nasty. But he more than made up for it.
Lucien Laviscount giggling as Bobby called Amy an 'it' was the most toadying piece of TV I've seen since Danielle Lloyd and Jo O'Meara hung off Jade's (RIP) racist coattails like she was some high priestess of truth. Witness the look of glee on Lucien's face as Bobby calls a woman 'it'. Bobby is loathsome. But Lucien is a bootlicker. And that's worse.
LOL to Sally encouraging Bobby to be an absolute cunt! What COULD her motive be?! Surely she's not trying to get him slyly evicted before her?
Bobby doesn't like people disrespecting each other? Well calling a woman 'it' is a lot worse than Paddy calling Jedward a sausage.
At least the house is split down the middle now. But who's side am I on? No one's! Why DIDN'T Bobby speak up at the time if it was pissing him off that Pamela was getting bullied? He's just made himself look like a little snivelling prick saying it behind people's backs. Plus the only person he attacked was Amy, the woman, not Paddy, not Darryn. Hmm, I wonder why (not for very long, though).
I like Bobby's peach shirt. Shame he's either proper dull or a proper nasty. Reminds me of when Jack Tweed was in there, and the only words that came out of his mouth in those whole two weeks were 'She's a cunt' (about Shilpa).
It must hurt fat, pug-faced Darryn's heard to see the gorgeous (if horrid) Bobby standing there looking so thin and handsome. 'What you see is what you get'? Is that apart from the plastic pecs?
It's so tragic that Big Brother isn't even trending on Twitter when it's on these days. Twitter was made for shows like this. And you know why no one is interested? No live feed! I want to see Darryn getting more red in the face about Jedward's antics for hours on end. I want to see who goes to bed early. Who stays up bitching all night. I want to see it all!

No comments: