Sunday, 21 August 2011

Celebrity Big Brother - Birds and bikinis

Darryn, please keep your six-pack/beer belly under wraps, it's giving me nightmares.
I looked up a photo of Sally Bercow's husband today. He's a funny looking little thing.
I think Darryn is cracking onto Lucien Laviscount. I don't like LL much. He seems to have a strange immature thing going on. I couldn't be less interested in this fauxmance with Pamela/ Amy/ himself.
Tara telling dirty jokes to Jedward! That's like mooning at a kitten.
My boyfriend just said 'not a bad song' about that Will Young track in the adverts.
Lucien is such a boring character. I'm tired of people telling him he's good looking. He's average looking. He's got no personality. He's not even a good actor. I remember him trying to suck up to Kevin Webster, and Kevin had no truck with it. Oh, no.
This has been a really dull highlights show so far. Where's the tree of temptation? Oh it's Mohammed Al Fayed. I object to this contact with the outside world. What, there's loads of people in the garden now! This is bullshit. Stop diluting the brand.
'One Jedward is struggling but the other one's made it!' I wonder if I'll ever be able to tell them apart. I used to be able to tell Samanda apart easily.
My boyfriend is moaning that they're paying Al Fayed money they could be spending on better tasks. What is even at stake in this task anyway? Who wins what? Julie Chen (BBUSA host) would shit all over this. In BBUSA the tasks are more tense than a penalty shootout. Everything matters and their time in the house depends on how they do.
Al Fayed cracking onto Pamela. I kind of like Tara Reid a bit, you know. She's kind of on her own planet and I respect that. She has a gentle sort of way about her.
LOL Darryn's abs are plastic surgery! How embarrassing.
LOL the celebs are going to watch a film in the house! They do that in BBUSA as well and they force them all to say how much they love the film and it's so cheesy. I can't really see it working so well over here.
These advert breaks seem long! Can't believe they're giving Paddy a phonecall from home already! They should have to earn those sort of rights. Can't they give him subtitles? I like the fact he cut his wife off on the phone and got all embarrassed crying on TV. What a freak.
I don't mind these stupid montages they keep doing, I think it's in keeping with with the shiny kind of feel of things.
It's Pinky and Perky, not Pinky and Percy, for fuck's sake, Darryn. Why has Lucien got that hat on?
The way Darryn and Paddy talk about women is disgusting. They are all about show and front and pomp, and nothing is real (not the teeth, nor the six packs).
This Lucien/ Amy thing makes Ziggy and Chanel's relationship look mature. I hate Lucien Laviscount now. He's the type who doesn't go down on girls because it's unhygienic (ie. he's queer).
I can't work out what is going on, and I can't tell if it's bad editing or what. LL is acting like a fucking 12 year old. He's pathetic. He's a little shit-stirring prick. Here's the deal, he fancies Towie, and he thinks she's way out of his league so he's picking on her. It comes to something when Jedward are the most straightforward men in the house.
I think Lucien might have a touch of the 'John James'.
I liked the way John/Edward defended the other one when Paddy pulled his bedsheets on, it was chivalrous. They are like one entity. You can't buy love like that, you have to share a womb for that sort of bond.
Sally got on my nerves going 'please don't slag off Paddy' to Tara when she wasn't. Sally is so far up Paddy's arse it's tragic.
STOP DISCUSSING NOMINATIONS! Where's the rule book? Tara is talking strategy, alliances, the whole hog! OK, maybe not so gentle after all, but interesting.
I'm going to give Lucien Laviscount one more bit of leeway as he's only 19. But is he plays up tomorrow I'm renaming him Lucien Laviscunt. Fair's fair.

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