Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Ultimate Big Brother: Bass hunted, Vanessa Felled

RESPECT that title! Behold it.
Interesting to hear Vanessa talking about having children! I've never heard someone talk positively about having children before. How weird to hear Chantelle say she's 'bored of independence'. That's so far from my own feelings about life it's untrue!
Victor is getting cold showers again! It'll be the return of the sniffles before you know it!
Nick wringing his hands in the diary room! He's like an even shiftier Ian Beale.
LET THE STRAIGHTENING TYRANNY END TONIGHT! EVICT BASS. I don't want Vanessa or Nick to go. But hey, it's only two days to go.
Oh, a tedious dancing task. Zzz. Where's Ashley Banjo? Oh, wrong troupe.
Nasty Nick's got the moves! Chantelle: not prepared to make a dick of herself.
I don't like the way Michelle Bass says 'task' and 'dance' like a Southerner now. Sell out! Ulrika: cringe! Nick was the best at that task!
Wow, Chantelle is an emotional cabbage! She cries more than me.
I like the expression 'cakewalk'. Don't tell Chantelle to turn her mic off!
I feel a bit short-changed by the length of UBB. Given another month in there and we could have seen Preston actually go for it out of desperation and Victor snap and Nikki go mental. Instead it feels like it's going to stop halfway through.
Nasty Nick had his own Daft Pink section! LOL. That Flawless guy looked like he was embarrassed throughout the whole thing; it's just a joke, mate. Don't take it too serious.
Wait til Preston comes out sees Chantelle weeping over him! I don't think she does even have feelings for him, it's just that situation is enough to send anyone mad.
Why is Ulrika being such a cunt over Preston's migraine? Does that cold bitch have one kind bone in her body?
I can't STAND PEOPLE who say ME-graine. Don't bankroll the dinner again, Ulrika, you fucking shrew. What's her beef?
I like the following Brian lols.
OMG Davina is talking to Derren! Sexy. EVICT HIM, HE'S A WITCH! BOO.
The audience are going 'uh uh' like they're at a Judge Jules set. I thought Nadia-gate was bad, but this is a new low. Surprised they are doing outside evictions.
Michelle looks like she's gone a bit mad for the dry shampoo. It's a bit of a Miss Haversham vibe. Well, Michelle didn't do much, but at least she proved she's changed. And that's something considering my perception of her before.
Did they force the crowd to cheer tonight? No one likes Bass that much.
No, Davina, that's not what disingenuous mean. Anyway.
I wish we could see Chicken Stu! He's fit. Total drip, but fit.
PRODUCT PLACEMENT! First OK magazine with Crab Eyes and Josie on the front, and then Davina's mucky old hair dye. Fruc tis. (That almost worked as a joke)
I think Vanessa will go. And so it was. Nikki's not happy!
Hey! What's wrong with you. I like Vanessa Feltz and I like Turnaround dude. They're a cute couple!
God, Ulrika! What a miserable, miserable cow. I can't stand that bitch.
Glad Nick stayed in a way. I think he needs it more.
OMG Vanessa got stage-dived. It's like Morrissey back in the day (before subspecies gate). Ooh, the boos are back.
Last ever Big Mouth? Aint there one on Friday? Pass the valium, I think we'll need it.
PS. In loving memory of who? Did that stage diver land on his head? (apologies)

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