Corrie/Enders- The Drugs Don't Work

Good! I'm glad Liam went back to Carla, they were meant to be, and Maria's a whining dolt (even if she is extremely pretty). They had a slow dance to The Drugs Don't Work... what's that all about? It's not the most romantic love song, is it? Just thinking about Richard Ashcroft's fish-face is enough to put me off. Tina was quite funny today, and the whole gay chat was quite amusing. Kirk's girlfriend is well annoying though, she'd better turn out to be a complete psycho or something, otherwise she's an utter waste of space.
I was happy to see the return of Christian in Eastenders, as he is the only actual human in it. As if he could fancy Stephen. Stephen is the opposite of viagra. I hope he's gone forever, please say it's so! And send Lucy Beale after him, the narky little cow.
And what was the deal with Roxy's pregnancy test? I've never seen one with a giant red crucifix in it, normally it's like a little blue dot or something right (not that I'd know). Perhaps it meant she's due to give birth to the spawn of Satan. That doctor bloke wasn't too bad was he? I think he was slumming it with Roxy and her nylon hair. Ricky and Bianca have been an UTTER anti-climax. I can't stand them. He's just about bearable, but she needs drowning, now.

Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Mamma's Watching!)

What a weird BB tonight. Joan Rivers was funny but didn't make enough of an impact for me. I was not impressed with her nominations either. I'd gladly see the back of Jay, Calista, Latoya or Nathan. Out of the four who are up, I'd like to see Jeremy('s spoken!) and Victor go. Jeremy gives me the creeps and Victor, well...
The whole fake fight thing was bizarre. Latoya doesn't speak for a week and a half and then does an award-winning eppy. It was far too realistic! Even so, I have no clue what Victor got so upset about. So what they were mucking about. I can't STAND guys who start punching the walls. I think he should be thrown out for it, as it's very intimidating. I was glad to see him cry. It annoyed me when they kicked Latoya out of the bathroom because precious Victor was getting his knickers in a twist. Get over it, you big baby.
It was weird how the whole group dynamics disintegrated after that. I was unimpressed with Nathan hiding in the hot tub offering his usual platitudes. I've not seen so much fence-sitting since H from Steps was in the house. Trying to please the public so much just makes them want to punch you. Even Anthony wanted to put him up for nomination, so something must be slightly amiss. It's too much about public image. Anthony seems a lot more willing to show his emotions. Calista is just annoying me now, I had high hopes for her at first too.
And then we had John going into politician mode so blatantly it made me despise him. He was like a creepy cult leader on a recruiting drive. Just be normal, John! It's all rhetoric. My opinions about them are really changing on a daily basis now. I still like Liam though. He's creepy as well, but interesting.
PS. Can Amy ever be spotted not munching on a bit of food? Fair enough it's normally healthy but christ! There can't be anything left for the others.

Big Brother: Celebrity Hijack (Art Attack)

I couldn't even comment on Chris Moyles yesterday, he's too disgusting.
I was interested by Brian Sewell's attack on Amy as an artist, and her seemingly not being able to defend herself. I wonder how heavily edited that was, because if someone attacked my heart's desire in such a fashion, I would have metaphorically torn their arm off. However, writing novels does require some dedication. I am suspicious of most modern art. I don't like having to read the plaque. I like a good painting as well. Brian Sewell is still a dick though. He rips Amy's life's work, then congratulates Liam for having a wank on TV! It's a funny old world.
John, Anthony and Nathan all seemed quite miffed with the hijack, and I appreciated Anthony and Nathan trying to plead that they were 'intellectual'. I don't think you were put in there for that, Anthony. Nathan, manners are good, perhaps you should have thought of that before telling Amy you fancied her in front of Latoya (the worlds dullest mute)?
Er... why did Anthony shave a ridiculous cross into his hair? Hasn't Calista got a boyfriend? And how cute was Jeremy stroking Emilia's hair?! It properly melted my heart!

Big Brother 8: The Fall and Fall of Liam

So Liam has turned from cheeky chappie with an eye for the 'canny lasses' (vomit) to full-on wanker who snogs you then never speaks to you again. What a spineless, flabby, squinty-eyed, yellow baseball-capped, tree-hugging chav. He's not even good-looking, or smart, or even fit anymore. Amy: you're best off out of it, he's probably got a STD. When he was cuddling and caressing the do-no-wrong-twins it made me feel sick. Let this be a lesson to you, BIRDS, act angelic because if you dare show a bit of sexuality or have something to say, you're going to be flushed down the can sharpish. Unfortunately for Sam n Amanda, it will be the Amy's of this world their creepy laddish boyfriends go off and shag behind their backs. Thank God I like men with brains, who can actually see women as more than just two-dimensional creatures.
As for Carole: did she REALLY touch that chicken with those grubby hands? URGH! I watched some of this on the live feed and you didn't really get the creeping sense of terror from the highlights as she was unleashed from the diary room and emotionally blackmailed them all for several hours for... cooking dinner! How dare they cook dinner at 9.30 at night? I actually heard her say on the live feed 'they should have come to the diary room and got big brother to ask me'. For fuck's sake. Please, please, please fuck off. I hated it when Ziggy said 'she's just looking after us.' She's looking after you like Kathy Bates in Misery looks after the injured writer, you dopey twat. You'll wake up with a pillow over your face eventually. Will anyone EVER stand up to her? My cash is on Jonty! Go Jonty! Go Jonty!
I enjoyed the twins becoming one (was it just me or did Sam seem hesitant?) but this is bad news for the fun-lovers amongst us, as this is one less nomination for Carole.
GET HER OUT! I can't take it anymore.

Big Brother 8: Jump Ziggy Jump

Yeah into the fucking river. But then again no. Because I kind of love Ziggy again (i.e. I'd rather he stayed than the newbies). They definitely just put these new people in to make us appreciate that despite their inadequacies, we truly love our old housemates.
There was definitely some tension between Ziggles and Shanessa tonight, what with the willy crack (SOMEONE'S been reading the News Of The World) and then singing the Spice Girls. Evil mind games! She's not as stupid as she looks.
Brian was brilliant tonight, the most multi-faceted moron on earth, touching, funny, kind, beautiful. Describing shagging Amanda as harps and angels and Shanessa as being sucked through a hosepipe was class. He, Gerry and the twins sobbing in the toilet was emotional 'It's too much!' cried Gerry. It's true. It just makes you hate the new housemates. Brian said 'they aren't great replacements for Chanelle and Ziggy' and summed up the thoughts of the nation.
I don't know how Ziggy didn't realise they were cheering for him to jump out the box. I loved it when Shanessa jumped out and the twins looked stony-faced and Gerry went 'fuck'. Ziggy looked funny in his fairy outfit.
I LOVED Ziggy and Liam getting all terrotorial in the halfway house 'they are chucking my twins around the pool!' but the conversation went too laddy for me when Liam commented on Amy's spotty chin. Yuck. Not very chivalrous. He didn't mind rubbing his on hers later. I also expected him to give the thumbs up to the camera when they got into bed. There's something about that overtly laddish behaviour I just find unnerving. It was interesting watching his seduction technique though.
I hate David. I hate Kryton forehead girl. I still hate Carole. I do know from live feedage that Liam, Ziggy, Jonty and Amy are back in the big house, and that Tracey, Shanessa, David and Kryton are back in the halfway house. Good. Drop the bomb, I don't care who bites the bullet there. I'm glad Zigs is safe. I know I'm a turncoat, but it's who you hate the least at this stage, let's be honest.
However, it does make the picking of the housemates, and the various tasks completely pointless, and a bit unfair. But that's Big Brother to a tee, isn't it? I'd be annoyed if I was a newbie. They are blatantly making it up as they go. Anyway. I feel it may be time for Tracey to 'deal with it'. What do you reckon?

Big Brother 8: The Dimmer Takes It All

Let's face it, there are few ways this could have worked with a happy ending. The ending we did get, was anti-climatic but perhaps one of the best ways it could have worked out. Let's look at the options (from their suggestions): Laura- no way. Amanda- possibility. Ziggy- I feel it would have been a poisoned chalice for him. I was surprised they didn't deliberate more, but Liam was a non offensive choice, and I don't think people will turn against him. He's such a bore though- YAWN. Buy a new baseball cap. They WILL turn against Carole, Seany and Jonathan, however. I would have maybe given it to Tracey. I want Gerry to win, and he couldn't have won with that money hanging over him.
Aside from the loser-at-the-Oscars smiles, Charley's 'what reason did you choose him for?' summed her up to a tee. As if they were going to give it to you, you grasping mare.
All in all it seems a big fat waste of 100K that they could have spent on making the show a bit better. They literally must have money to burn.
In other news, Carole ruined the whole moment by monaing about a towel for the thousandth time. Why would ANYONE want to keep her in? I'm sick of looking at her sour face. I want to punch it, to be honest with you. Dear God, please release her.
Anyway, I won't be here to see it, as I'm off to Glastonbury tomorrow. Pray for sun and look out for me, I'll be the one with the frog umbrella. Good luck with that.
I will be Sky-Plussing and will catch up next week. Keep Seany in! I know he put a condom on Gerry's bear but he didn't mean it and I'm sure he's sorry!