Celebrity Big Brother 2016: Lip Sync Prattle

 OMG I can't actually listen to this rat screeching again. Is it a double tonight? I can't believe she's not up. She would stay anyway, because those moronic people going 'ooh ooh' would vote for her. I'm sure she or Scotty T will win as their show starts on MTV next week. I'm onto you, Ted-demol. Plus that bedwetter won.
Who's doing Emma's hair these days, Donald Trump?
At least they've got their hashtag in check, I hate #cbb2016 even though I've been doing it like a mug.
I honestly think Nancy/Angie will go as they've had zilch airtime the past two days. A noms twist? I'm definitely not voting.
Why is Gemma getting cheers? I knew Jeremy would. Must be the Aquafresh crew in the crowd. They fucking love watching him brush his teeth while wearing his coat. Really turns them on.
Megan's hangover must be REAL. So everyone today is going 'Megan has a point, she just expressed it badly.' Er... there's expressing something badly and there's turning into a fucking banshee on crack.  She is POISON.
A few people seem annoyed with John now. Danniella; 'A few people sit in corners and load the gun.'
John has stirred the pot but it's NOTHING compared to what Megan did yesterday. I am still agog she's even in the house.
Stephanie 'doesn't remember' kissing Jeremy, ha. Good one. A friend of mine pulls that one after a few drinks and ends up in a strange woman's bed.
Oh Danniella is saying Gemma 'loads the gun', I thought she meant John.
Megan's warning: Aggressive. So she was aggressive, racist, hit the camera, had a go at Big Brother and she's still there. Megan is still arguing with Big Brother! OMG. Get the hint. Then Tiffany got a warning for 'rising out of bed'. Stupid. Big Brother is racist. Keeps a racist in the house and has a go at a black person. Typical!
If I was a housemate I'd be SHOCKED to see her back. Megan is back and still 'agged': 'From what I remember...' Don't think that's going to stand up in a court of law. Darren: 'Tiffany was the one who got out of bed.' Grow some balls, man! God, what a shrew. I really want to like him, but he just agrees with whoever he's talking to.
Megan is trying to explain to Tiffany in her sober state that she's not a nutbag. Too late, man, too late.
Gemma: 'Megan, you did nuffink wrong last night.' Psycho enabler.
Megan: 'Maybe because I was drunk last night I wasn't explaining it right.' You could say that. You know, calling her a 'ghetto cunt' and all that. Megan is the epitome of white trash, btw.
John: 'It was nothing to do with me.' What about 'clearing up shit' gate? Christopher Maloney needs more airtime. Along with Gest.
Gemma: 'People have smelt the shit and woken up to it.' Most of it is coming out of your mouth.
John can't believe how people manipulate in there, cos he thought it was just him doing it, ha.
Who's more intelligent, a lemon in a sock or Scotty T? Can we vote for the lemon in a sock to win?
Megan 'aint disrespecting Big Brother.' She hasn't ruined my view on her, I thought she was scum and she IS scum. If she's ever read a book, then I'd be fucking shocked.
OK a new task, lip sync battle. Hey, isn't that on in a minute? Tricksy! Guess what, I still won't be watching. Fuck you, C5. Scotty T thinks it's fun though, so that's the main thing. What's the point of a task with no shitstir aspect? At least give us some outside contact, lol.
Shit, Christopher Maloney in drag looks like Dobby from Peep Show (illustrated above, like Smash Hits).
I like the song Bonkers. Jeremy doesn't seem to know the words. He's lost without his toothbrush. David thinks it was 'absolutely fantastic.' Once Ash Harrison said those words and the next day, Armageddon happened. Go figure.
I'm not sure what Jonathan would say if he could see Gemma's outfit today, but I think it might be 'eek.'
I forgot to watch Nancy and Angie because... weeeeeeelll.
Isn't it great to see them having fun? No. Well it's OK, Gemma's here to ruin it. 'We're not mugs, we're from Essex.'
Haha, when you're so common you think John Patridge is posh. *embarrassed face emoji* David Gest is trying to stop Gemma and Megan winding each other up. Gemma: 'I want to know what the wink meant.' It means John thinks you're a pair of cunts.
If Darren keeps hanging out with Gemma he will go down in my estimation BADLY. The fact Gemma and Megan hate John is making me like John again. There's a lot of ups and downs with this show. But then someone reminded me about him trying to get Tiffany out by force. But still, at least he's not Gemma or Megan. It's a scale here.
Stephanie is worried she might get booed. She'll be lucky if she's not burnt at the stake in slutshame Britain.
Ooh Angie's jacket is rather fab. Stephanie is getting some cheers. Things have changed since the Hazel days, haven't they? And Hazel was in Jeremy's position, if you get my meaning. Get who out? Get John out! OMG. Do people like Darren that much, ha? The good part will be seeing him to try and change up his game and failing. Aw. What about his musical in Northampton?
And why not 'get Megan out'?! Is the idiot general public really that dumb? (Yes)
Did Gemma have the most votes to save?! WTF. I AM NOT ON THE SAME PLANET AS YOU PEOPLE. I knew Stephanie was safe. One of the oldies will go. I'm glad they keep Jeremy waiting at least. He'll have time to brush his teeth again, at least. Mmm, sexy! (blergh)
And we're back in the room. Why is Nancy getting booed? She's done nothing. Not even nothing wrong, just nothing. I would have prefered her to stay over Angie. She had more to offer. We didn't even get to hear her slag off Ulrika. I would have enjoyed that.
I find Nancy strangely classy and interesting, or intriguing at least. Emma is talking to her like she's an idiot.
Nancy: 'Some situations it's not even worth it to have an opinion.' True. Pretty boring interview, really. 'Too polite to stay in the house.' True. It was so random when she picked Scotty T FTW. I think those two had a bit of a thing.
Nancy's 'friends and family' looked like Jason Statham.
Oh God, don't let these cunts choose. They're letting Gemma, Angie, Jeremy and Stephanie vote. WHY! WHY!!!
All the old people will be nominated. Darren, John, Gest. Ooh Angie nommed Kristina but took so long she didn't give a reason. Gemma nommed John for nomming Darren. What a smug bitch.
Jeremy nommed Tiffany. Stephanie nommed Danniella. Christopher Maloney was lucky to not get nommed! Good stuff. I'm glad Gest and Darren weren't nommed either. Kristina will go. DISGUSTING that Megan is not up. I fucking HATE Megan and Gemma. Pond life look down on these two. Pond life look like Nancy Dellollio compared to these two.
PS: Sorry to keep you waiting with the podcast, James has been ill and also doing some overtime so we're a bit behind schedule. We'll be back on air(time) on Monday or Tuesday. Also should be on track to do regular pods after that as his shifts will work out better. The next one should be pretty packed, I'd imagine, like an episode of Sistah Speak, late but long! Thanks for your patience!
PPS: I like Emma's coat. That's the only good thing I have to say about her.