Wednesday, 26 June 2013

Big Brother 2013: Zombie nation

So they've axed live feed! Thanks for your crumb. What arseholes. They never planned to keep it going in the first place, they just wanted to blame us for it not existing anymore. Well perhaps if you'd promoted it and put it on a decent channel, people will have watched it, you mutants.
ZOMBIES. Dead set. I hope Charlie Brooker is getting a payoff. The zombies look quite good but there's only about three of them. Ah, my boyfriend said it's cos The Walking Dead is on soon. Tie in!
'There's zombies in the house.' Insert joke here.
AJ is doing the link! Has Emma been eaten? This is quite a good task. They should do Rylan up like a zombie. He'd be able to eat people effectively with those teeth.
Only six gas masks? Have they ever heard of ladies first? That's the only time when I'd gladly welcome sexism: on the Titanic.
How did Gina not get a gas mask? Why is everyone on the block in the bad area? Sophie: 'Are we just going to be sitting here all day?' What else did you have planned?
My boyfriend is moaning that there's no point to this task and that it's all filler. Isn't it just to humiliate the women and take their make up off them? I feel sorry for Gina without her warrior paint on. OMG, she's doing the task! They are trying to keep her in, aren't they? Gina's face was a picture! I'd have just said NO. I reckon it's not what they said in the blender. It's probably just something else.
She's a good sport! I wouldn't have done that. This is horrible, they are TORTURING HER! I think Gina knows this will keep her in the house. She wouldn't do it if she wasn't up for noms. 'Think of it as Galaxy Cookie Crumble.'
I can't BELIEVE she's doing it. I'm very impressed with her. Maybe Gina was worth keeping in after all? Maybe she'll become a different person? Maybe she'll have a JOURNEY™?.
Gina is reapplying her warpaint. Charlie and Callum are enjoying time without her mother. Barely a peep out of Dan and Dexter tonight!
I hate those idiot twins; they've not give a hundredth of the entertainment of Dexter, and there's two of them. I keep hearing they're funny; they've not made me crack a smile once.
Ha, next they will torture Dan. Callum is pulling an 'I'm only following orders' face. Hazel looks quite pleased at the prospect of frightening Dan.
It's actually hilarious watching Dan get tortured. Hazel did some good acting there. Callum is actressing well, too. That was brilliant! I love to hate Dan, but he's a great character. I don't want him out.
Dan is wearing some ridiculous pedal pushers and a gross cardigan. He looked better in the bin bag.
OMG I was just complaining about Dan's stupid hair and my boyfriend said he thinks it looks alright! WTF? It does NOT look alright. It looks RIDICULOUS.
God, do those twins ever stop going on about meat?! I'd kick those twins, Sophie and Daley out in a heartbeat.
I wish Wolfy was infected. Talking to the animals and wants to eat meat? What a fucking hypocrite. I wish someone would call her out on that.
They shouldn't make an old lady crawl through a tube. It doesn't seem right. I hope there's some some ventilation in that biohazard smoking cube. Jackie can't hack it! She'd be shit in a zombie apocalypse. I think she's having a crack up.
Ooh are Charlie and Callum going to get it on now mum's out of the way? Quick, get the towels ready.
I've (tried to) sleep under foil before, on a crate at a festival when someone stole my tent. It was shit. Jackie's got a bad back, so they shouldn't really do that to her.
Ooh, they're crossing to the house to save someone! I haven't voted yet. Ooh, there's Emma Willis. She did survive the zombie apocalypse after all.
SAVE DEXTER. I want to see Dan's face. Wow, Gina was saved! Cool, Dexter should be safe against Jemima for sure.
Oh God, they're making them do save me speeches. Oh, even better, it's why the public should evict the other person over you. Ooh he didn't bag her! He just did a speech about himself. It's all about Dexter, baby. But that was a classy speech.
Jemima went for 'you haven't seen the best of me yet' speech! And she was nasty to Dexter. Bitch. I'm going to ring up to evict her right now. Look at the way everyone just ignored Dexter after, except Jackie. I hate them!
Aw, at least Gina said 'I hope you don't go' to him. I don't think it's that Dexter creeps, he's just socially awkward. The others are just cunts. Yes, I said THE C WORD. If you don't like it, go write to Points of View. The end.

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