Friday 21 June 2013

Big Brother 2013: That moth told me about that twist

Why, hello! I have moved house. It's been a fucking nightmare and I have one cat hiding behind the sofa, but apart from that we're sitting pretty. Big Brother has been great! I have even changed my mind about someone already (Dan). I like changing my mind about things! I have half changed my mind about wanting Gina to go, too. I like Sallie but she really is one note, yap, yap, yap, mouse, cheese, snake. Gina seems to have a sweet side under the mask. But I'm fairly sure she's going to go. It's a shame to lose either. 
I'm thrilled Michael is going tonight; he got found out TIME ago. The people's pillock. The people's prick. 
Emma looks SO skinny at the moment! Her shoulders are so narrow. She looks like a little boy in that suit.  I hope she's OK.
LOL to the sign saying 'hey doc you couch potato' - amazing! His podcast is getting proper famous - good on him. Listen to the Couch Potatoes radio podcast if you're a BB fan, it's fab.
I like Callum now! He is boring, but I don't mind. I think he's a decent bloke - he would be good to have in your corner. He doesn't just blindly agree with a group, and I think he secretly hates Dan, which is a bonus.Oh, Dan, I really liked you. But you're such a smarm bucket! And that hair is unforgivable. We're though. 
£80 a night for the Savoy... this isn't helping Gina. I don't really like Hazel, I find her quite stuck up. Her and Dan are always slagging off Sallie behind her back.
WEETABIX advertising. Some casual product placement here. Weetabix is absolutely disgusting. It tastes like cardboard.
Why has Dan got pedal pushers on? Is he a middle aged man? Aw, Dexter walked in the room and EVERYONE left. Boo.
Why are Gina and Sallie wearing the same outfit? Another shit stirring task! Who's ugliest/ prettiest etc? It's the oldest trick in the Big Brother book. That's hilarious that Michael had to choose Dan as sexiest (the public really voted)! Aw, Wolfy, least attractive. I'd say the mum myself. I'd be proud to be voted 'most annoying'.
Jemima is sooooo Vinnie Jones. She's trying to RULE the kitchen. She will be up soon.
Wolfy has been named ugliest and smelliest. Ha. That's what happens when you've got a dreadlock. Don't worry, Wolfy, it's not what Michael thinks, it's just what the whole of the nation thinks. Michael's going to have to be removed for his own safety at this rate. Never mind, Wolfy, at least you're the most unique, right?
Michael is LAUGHING again about making people cry! What a lovely person! What a great guy! KNOB.
Oh Wolfy, save the speeches for the final. Imagine if Wolfy won and then became super slim like Josie? Would she be doing it for the overweight girls then? The girl we vote to win is never the same girl a year later.
Dan vs Jemima! Ding ding. See how he's hovering over her; threatening! Don't get me wrong, I don't particularly like Jemima but I swear Dan thinks he owns the place. He's going to be insufferable when he finds out he was right about Michael. Him and Sallie are both of the 'say it to your face' ie. 'I can be as rude as I fucking like' school of thought. Sometimes it's better to NOT say things to people's face. Sometimes it's better to just shut your fucking mouth. I tell you the problem with Dan: he can't see his own flaws.
'Who goes - it's up to you'. Not as catchy as 'you decide', is it?
That party looks LAME! I've had better office parties.
Does that Sophie ever speak? You have to work hard to be that dull. LOL to Charlie calling Gina an escort! Hahahaha - foot in it! I don't think she meant it maliciously. I like Charlie, actually.
Dan, put some clothes on FFS. I'm sick of seeing you in you in your pants.
Michael has had the BEST day making a young woman cry. What a hero. I can't wait for him to leave either.
'Your fate is sealed.' Strong words. OMG they did evict Sallie! I'm shocked. I wasn't expecting that. This is rubbish, they should have kicked Michael out first, Sallie would have enjoyed that moment - not fair she got denied that moment. Sallie, I'll miss you peeking over your shoulder coquettishly. I would have preferred Gina to go. But I didn't vote so it's partly my fault. I'm sad she's gone when there's so many boring people in that house. I feel a bit deflated. Did she ever even get her suitcase? Can she have it back now?
Shut up, booing idiotic crowd. LOL to Sallie shouting, 'Shut the fuck up!' at the crowd. 'You've been waiting since four to get in here, get a grip.' Brilliant, about time someone gave it back to that crowd. I would have told them that, too. So obvious that someone like her would go out first, a mouthy woman. No one can take it.
At least Dan will have a chunk out of him, losing his sidekick. I'd love to see him up next week. Sallie going 'shut the fuck up' to Emma Willis. Haha. Some people just talk like that. No offense is intended.
Michael times. Acting! DAN IS GLOATING! Did Wolfy just say 'my mum told me about that twist'? WTF? On reflection after rewinding, she said. 'that moth told me about that twist.' Now that makes a LOT more sense. The Mothman Prophecies! Speechless.
You can stop acting now, Michael. Nervous drink! Wolfy's got Sallie's earrings on. Aw, that was sad that Wolfy never said goodbye to him. I think I would be hurt by him. Even though he's an actor, I'd still feel lied to, especially if I considered him a friend.
Micheal should be getting boos! Set Sallie on him. Stop gnawing Emma's wrist. LOL they're sitting him next to Sallie. Brilliant! 'I don't think it's Hollywood for you, babe, more like Towie.' Line of the season, after the moths.
Michael's body language! I want Sallie to lamp him! Michael's twitching. I love it, Michael wasn't expecting Sallie to be sitting in on his interview. He's an actor - Sallie: 'not a very good one.' This is the funniest eviction interview ever.
Are there more secrets and lies than just Michael FFS? We need more than just this, surely? So what if Dan's a detective, Sallie sussed this prick FIRST! Sallie is a legend. This has sealed her place in the annals of BB history. Michael saying he didn't care about shredding Wolfy's prom dress - cruel!
Sallie: 'Is it vote to evict? Well no wonder I went then.' HA! I love her swearing, it's real.  She's a normal person.
Michael: 'Wolfy is a lovely girl.' Sallie: 'She doesn't like you. I don't think she ever will.' Ha!  I thought Emma was being a bit stuck up towards Sallie. Sallie is a good character. She's naturally funny and she's a loss as a housemate. Michael: not so much. Best eviction interview(s) ever? I think so. Next week the battle lines will be drawn. I think there could be a few up. Just ask the moth.

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