Sunday, 23 June 2013

Big Brother 2013: Big Brother's little brain

Wow, Dan actually looks much more attractive with wet hair, ie. without it all brushed up like a hedgehog. Underneath all the smarm and ego, I think there's a nice, attractive man waiting to get out. Unfortunately, I think we're going to be kept waiting. Is Dan 33? He looks older. I'm 33! I must be old, too.
Anyone else tired of all these suspicions? It makes for quite a boring show, in my opinion. He's a mole, she's a mole, everyone's a mole, mole. Can we talk about something else?! It would do my head in if everyone in the house was going on like that. It's doing my head in just watching it.
I think I prefer Sophie when she doesn't speak. Where do they find these boring people? Just thinking about my circle of friends, I can think of about ten of them who would make better housemates.
Jemima's in the kitchen stirring her cauldron - sorry, saucepan.
I like Callum and Charlie! I could see them having an old school style Big Brother romance. I hope one isn't keener than the other, that's always sad. 
This memory task is like a BBUS task. What, it's all just red herrings? Boring! Oh it's really a task telling them what others have said about them. Not another shitstirring task! BB really has got it's wooden spoon out this year.
Why is everyone slagging Dexter? Leave him alone! Come on, Dexter hasn't got a girlfriend. Ha, does anyone believe Dexter was a strip club manager?! I doubt if Dexter can manage his own laundry basket. He's still 10 times more entertaining than anyone in that house, though.
Being a socialite is not a job! That's just going to parties. How has Gina got 125,000 followers on Twitter? Did she pay for them?
Dexter, stop being creepy to Hazel. She's not interested. Daley, you don't lead from the back, you're just a bit unusual.
Brain task. No expense spared on the costumes here: swimming caps with brains stuck on top. Must have cost all of £9.99.
Why is Dexter wearing make up?! I'm glad Wolfy got called out on her shitstirring about Dexter. Ha, Dexter looks pissy. I'm glad Wolfy is getting a bit of stick, too. I'm fed up with everyone kissing her butt.
More hate for Dexter! This is kind of cruel. A snake?! Sssssssss. I hate this ganging up. Dexter's hiding under a blankie. I wonder if anyone will go see if he's alright? Probably not.
Dan mentioning 'floaters'! Grab a lifevest, etc. I think Hazel was trying not to laugh in Dexter's face when he said they enjoyed 'a bit of a flirt'.
Dan got off lightly with the Wolfy/mole thing. It was him that said that first! Dan: 'people are scared to say.' Why don't you go say it to Wolfy's face, big man? I notice Jackie isn't saying it outright to him, either.
LOL to Sam telling Jackie he fancies Charlie. What an idiot.
Jemima: knee high socks. Really? Weren't you commenting on others clothes recently? Is Dexter coming onto her now? Ew, Dexter is saying he's a freak in bed and Jemima IS laughing in his face. I think everyone in that house is going to nominate him and it's a shame!
I hate Hazel and Dan bitching, they really think their shit doesn't stink. Charlie is so inoffensive; really unnecessary to say anything bad about her.
Wolfy, why would people think you're a freak? Is it TALKING TO INSECTS? You're an IDIOT. 'I'm crazy, me!' No, you're not. You're a cliche. I think Dexter is doing a bit of vote grabbing/ damage limitation here. Wolfy, Dexter is upset because of something YOU said. You're upset about something someone else said. Get over yourself. 
Oh God, I hate almost everyone in the house, and the people I don't hate are boring. Who can I get behind? Dexter aint gonna last two weeks. Bugger.

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