Saturday, 22 June 2013

Big Brother 2013: Mole-anoia

So, are the secrets and lies done? Is that really it? I'm thrilled to see the back of Michael and people going 'Sallie didn't get it' aren't getting it, in my opinion. Sallie got it from Day 1, and although Michael's decisions weren't his own, they still affected her game and hurt people. Anyway; she's a loss, and watching live feed, I'm anxious that everyone's getting on too well. Let's hope some more secrets and lies are en route.
So for the first time I'm watching Big Brother in HD because the Sky man came and wiggled my HDMI cable. Now I can see Hazel's boobs, Gina's three foot of foundation and Dan's bog brush hair with crystal clear clarity. My eyes!
I'm so OVER Wolfy's Dr Doolittle act but I'm more over people agreeing with her that a wasp, or spider talked to her. Are you INSANE? Wolfy, sorry to interrupt you behaving like someone who's BARKING MAD. I have a feeling I'm going to get sick of Wolfy pretty quickly, and it's obvious she's going to be in until the end, especially with all this 'doing it for the girls' BS.
I could never say 'no' to someone who was trying to make up with me, I struggle to hold a grudge for more than five minutes. Wolfy is not showing her best side here, and I'm not talking about her looks.
Misery Twin describing the preamble to being on Big Brother as 'aggro'. Well, don't let us keep you, Humpty.
Is Sam singing Linkin Park?
Sallie to Michael: 'you're either an alright actor or a really nasty person.' I think he's both, actually. Even this bickering seems contrived.
HD just seems to make the housemates look a bit grainy! Aw, Sallie's got her sideboob out again. RIP sideboob. I'm still pissy that she's gone. Gina better prove herself to be a decent housemate. I also think it's a testament to Sallie that most of her housemates seemed to genuinely like her and were sorry to see her go. But still, Wolfy, get a grip. You've only known her a week. Wolfy is really on my shitlist right now. I don't think she can really step into Sallie's drama queen shoes. LOL to Gina smirking at Wolfy's pathetic theatrics. I think I'd be smirking, too. Oh, STFU Wolfy.
Interesting to look at the reactions to Michael the mole again. Dan: as expected. Some looked sad. Some looked impressed. Callum, Charlie and the twins were classy about it. I love Gina's awkward comforting of Wolfy! Hilarious. Wolfy, it's not all about you. Say goodbye or something.
Dan's counselling service is great; he'll follow you into the toilet for some wise words whether you like it or not. I'm not sure if that's a cop thing or a gay thing; George Michael's video has confused me.
I really wanted to see Sallie's clothes, and now they give them their suitcases back when she's gone! Oh well, Dexter better have some ridiculous clothes I can laugh at. 
Dan: 'I knew this, that and the other.' How did you know all those things, Dan? Was it because a spider told you? Ha, Dan thinks Wolfy's an actor, too. She's going to get upset!
If Sophie and Daley got snatched from their beds tonight, would you even notice? You can't even call them floaters; they're like fucking anchors.
Ha, Jackie and Callum think Dan is a mole too! Mole-anoia. Dexter is my favourite person in the house by a mile, which is the absolute kiss of death for him.
Yes Dan, why did you give up your illustrious career to go in the BB house? He's no Rav Wilding.
What the fuck IS this rap Jackie is singing? Is this a thing? Why isn't Charlie dying of embarrassment? If that was my mum, I'd stand up and physically restrain her. My mum doesn't tend to rap when she has a drink though, she just gets surly.
The only things I've seen Daley do in that house are fart, eat some soup and cry, moan that he wants to go home, and then rub cream on his bum. He's hardly the new Nasty Nick, is he? What sort of strategy is this? What sort of man uses body lotion, anyway? Even I can't be bothered.
Dan's doing some damage control with Jemima; I think his spidey senses are reminding him that nominations are coming up. Jemima's no fool though; she'll see right through him. 
Gina's beach ball boobs are really beyond a joke. So, she wants to go anyway!
Bullshit alert: Dexter's mouth is moving. Oh, dear, he's admitting he slept with prostitutes. I thought he WAS  a prostitute? This guy can't even get his own story straight. Oh dear, he dropped the 'bird' bomb. Dexter and Daley are both insecure bags of slop (to quote Dan Savage).
Ha, Dan is doing damage control with Dexter, too. Why is Gina jiggling up and down? Ha, oh God, Dexter describing himself as 'deep'. Never a good sign.
Haha, Dexter 'is a little bit metrosexual'. Ah, it all becomes clear! Is that what we're calling bi these days? 'If I was gay I'd go for someone like Dan.' Ha! That's not something straight people even think. OK, I'm beginning to get it now. Dexter is hiding a lot more than just insecurities. Aw, that was too cute when Dan ruffled his hair. That might have just saved Dexter from being nominated by Dan this week, as I think Dan might rather like the idea of someone fancying him in there.
Gina and Wolfy: the most unlikely friends in history. Do you think they'd let Wolfy in the Savoy?
One of the twins looks skinnier than the other now. Must be the Weetabix diet. Ah, it must be the gay one as he knew about theatre (that's me on a formal warning from Big Brother). OK, I find them instantly more interesting now I can tell them apart. Still, not that interesting.
That's it! Noms tomorrow. 

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