Saturday, 16 October 2010

The X Factor: The Death of Diva Fever

So again last night I spent two hours of my life (as I was getting ready to go out, no less) writing a few hundred words (of complete shit, admittedly) and BLOGGER went 'oops, we can't process that request'. WTF? Is it just X Factor blogs? Is it my netbook? Am I cursed? Are my blogs getting so bad they need to be vetoed before they even hit the page? Either way, Blogger, you're a cunt.
So, this is Sunday's blog, not Saturdays as advertised.
So, brief thoughts from last night: Cheryl looked great. Storm was on first (death box) and sang flat but thanks to the judges being deaf from all the crowd noise they failed to notice. Treyc has got a good voice, yet she gets on my nerves. She's got this Myleene Klass smug thing about her where you just want to slap her, but can't put your finger on the reason why. Yet when I hear her accent I like her a bit more. Dermot night: 'that was amazing.' Treyc: 'I know.' Enough said.
The others in brief: Cher: puppety. There in something inherently hateful about her, but I still kind of like her. Katie: mouse ears. Wagner: very classy the way he replied to that question about Mary. Rebecca: much better, looked stunning and I liked her song. One Direction! Let's hope it's home. Mary: good song, and good singer, but she's not for me. John: who? Diva Fever did a song with virtually no lyrics, which is a good move. They should have done Wham! Matt: gives me the creeps and looks like he's shitting himself when he sings.
I didn't like them being nasty to Aiden! Admittedly he was singing a song 'everybody knows' that we'd never heard of, but I like his spazz attacks and flat bits. That's what makes a real singer, not a fucking Joe Mcelderry.
I think Simon Cowell was on the over-excitable pills last night as he called Rebecca 'genius' and One Direction the best band in Britain right now. What, better than the Kaiser Chiefs?
Also what was with the 'heroes' theme?! I had never heard of half those songs, or people.
RESULTS show! Ironically, my hair looks exactly like Katie's today. But with zero effort!
Medley! I thought that Lady Gaga song was quite good actually, they did quite a good job! Shit I've never thought that about one of those bits- ever!
I have never heard a Diane Vickers song. I don't think I live on the same universe as everyone else. Ugh this song sounds horrible! It doesn't have a tune. It just sounds like someone's got Karen O stuck under the lawnmower. It felt like watching a kid play at being a popstar. And I hate to say it, because she's beautiful, but she was pushing it having that much of those legs out.
OMG Katie Perry is off! Maybe some starts should mime after all. Why do all her songs have this really dreadful 90s trace sound behind them? She is almost proudly rubbish. The thought of Morrissey having to pander to this dullard makes me want to punch Russell Brand in the face, and I love Russell Brand.
'Boom boom boom even brighter than the moon...' just get me the fucking gun, now.
Glad to see Katie straight through. How are all Louis's act surviving?!
Diva Fever, Storm and Belle Amie in the bottom three. Storm looks livid! Put that old dog down. Storm; face it, NO ONE LIKES YOU. What a 'trier' essentially means, 'what a failure'.
Wow Diva Fever went down fighting! That was the most gloriously gay thing I've ever seen! I love I Will Survive! Wow, that was amazing.
Belle Amie look like they're being dragged out to face the firing squad. Put on a brave face; the show must go on.
Aw can't believe Diva Fever went out in a clean SWEEP! Cruel! Just as I realised I think I fancied one of them. Odd, I know.
Yet still we have to suffer through John, One Direction... funny old world.

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