The X Factor: RIP Bellamy

Bon Jovi! Bad medicine is what I need. My mum will be enjoying this. Let's take bets on if John's hair is real or not. I think it's about as real as Brian Molko's. In fact their band logo looks a bit like the Placebo wings.
I'm trying to think of something more embarrassing that this but can't.
Richie Sambora/ Johnny Marr- I can't tell them apart.
Has Richie Sambora got a Halloween mask on? WTF has he pumped into his face! JBJ still looks good for his age, though. I used to LURVE him when I was 11.
Ugh, the return of the space cowboy. Just what nobody wanted. My favourite all time Jamiroqui moment was when he got headbutted by that photographer. Happy days. He's like the bastard son of Aphex Twin and the Cat in the Hat. Just fuck off. I mean, who likes this kind of music? If you find a fan of his do them a favour and break their neck gently in their sleep.
'I've had reservations about coming on the show'- what a cocky arsehole. It's not like you have any credibility to lose. He's not fit to do backing dancing for Cheryl Cole.
Rihanna. Couldn't be arsed to go to her 'best friend's' wedding, but time to mime on the X Factor. I hope I can one day have a friendship that strong.
Rihanna's got all shit dancey beats all over her songs like Katy Perry now. Actually she's not miming. I can't tell you how I noticed that.
She does look good though. I like her look generally, she's all mismatched. I'm not even gonna comment on that 'food fight'.
Boo- don't want Katie in the bottom two- want it to be Treyc! What is Katie wearing? Will she ever sort her hair out? You decide.
Belle Amie should go on the basis of how they sung last night, they were DIRE.
Oh an advert for a Bon Jovi gig. What a coincidence!
That blonde one in Belle Amie looks like their mum. I like the red haired one. This chorus is screechy. Can we get rid of them now?
Katie's singing was ten billion times better than Belle Amie's. End of story.
Deadlock! Let's see if Belle Amie are less popular than Katie. YES! LOL. Katie was better!
DEADLOCK FTW.