Monday 11 October 2010

Josie & John James: What happened next?

Why is this show on Five? The plot thickens.
Their flat looks like a hotel. Who's paying for that fucker? FIVE, methinks. That flat is horrible, I can't stand those riverside blocks. Look at the Thames! Witness the slurry. Beautiful.
Look at those curtains! That flat is sooooo bland. That's a flat to take an overdose in.
I would go MAD if Josie drew a moustache on Morrissey.
Good to see the crab eyes shifting around on the goggle box again. John James and Josie's fans look BRILLIANT. Imagine having to be nice to those people!
LOL Josie's doing a fitness video! All those things she said she'd never do. I wonder how it feels to sell out. I wonder what Rachael think of it all. And what if those 15 minutes of fame last longer, and those photo opportunities just become your life? Sad really. She must miss that farm.
Nice to see John in his rightful place, by the rock pool.
I wonder why people have criticised you about the magazine deals; because of the fuss YOU TWO BOTH MADE ABOUT THEM! DUR. Yeah, probably anyone would take the money. BUT they'd admit it beforehand!
Why SHOULD Josie lose weight anyway? For him? For us? For money? Either way it sucks.
I like her sunglasses. I agree people are born athletic or lazy. Fit people don't understand that.
Are they watching bullfighting? Delightful.
Obviously no one wants Josie hanging round those nightclubs. Especially not those rabid laydeez.
What's Josie going to call her perfume? Eau de Crab? Showmance?
What kind of nightclubs have 'PA's anyway? It looks like a special kind of hell.
Wow, why ARE all their fans so ugly? Like proper mongs. Yeah, thanks for your life story, loser. Imagine if Josie was your IDOL?! It's CREEPY! I want to see someone with a John James & Josie tattoo.
Deck-gate! John complaining about his soulless PAs. It's better than working on a building site, innit.
John's looking for his fan mail. Perhaps it's fallen down the back of the sofa.
Nice- I liked Josie dropping in the cost of the decks. I'd so do that.
I wonder what sort of tunes he's going to spin?
I feel like I'm a part of this relationship and I don't want to be. I hope this show finishes soon. It's been a few MONTHS since she's seen her sisters? WTF.
God, if I had to get to know that many family members I'd curl up and die inside. I'd run for my life.
Why is John James not spinning the decks at this lame party? Maybe they're already rotting on a shelf at the back of Cash Converters in Acton. This is the worst party on the planet! And then Shabby turns up.
Narrated by Tracy-Ann Oberman! LOL.
I feel empty inside.

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