Saturday, 19 April 2008

Things I should have written about this week but didn't

Sorry I didn't write about The Apprentice, I know at least half a person who wanted me to, but by the time I could be bothered (i.e. the next day) all the David Brent jokes had been taken by the press. Can you believe I picked that dude to win recently? It was a total cringe-fest. Alan has picked some prize buffoons this year... but he's also picked Alex (swoon!) so we'll forgive him.
I also didn't write about BB USA (mainly because I was half cut last night and can't remember the finer details) but I DO remember Natalie getting show the door! I guess 'Team Christ' turned out to be Team Judas (I can't believe she didn't crack that one in her interview). And why did James start on Chelsia in the jury house? The 'houseguests' didn't turn on him because of her, they turned on him because he kept saying how he was going to wreak bloody revenge on them on a constant loop. Can Sharon win it now? She'd be lucky. If not, I'd go for Sheila, Adam, then Ryan in that order.
I ALSO did not write about American Idol, and nor did I last week when Michael Johns went. Shame, I liked him. This week saw the back of Krusty Le Crab, which I was glad about, but as punishment we had to look at Mariah Carey's smug, punchable face for two hours. Seriously, die. I liked Brooke this week. David Arch-whatshisface didn't even sing that song as good as Leon! Ahhh, Leon. Cute little Leon. I enjoyed perving over him on a weekly basis. Who else is left? Shoutyeisha. Carly and her incredible frowning face. What's that stoner with the dreadlocks called? Fidel Castro? He's alright but a bit nothingy. Oh yeah and fish-face. I like fish-face the best. But when Paula said to him 'you've got the whole package' I was thinking, perhaps not having a fish-face would help. Oh and his hair looks a bit- flyaway... if you get my drift. So if he didn't look aquatic, and wasn't going bald, he'd deffo be the whole nine yards.
I could say plenty about Eastenders but it got so utterly silly this week I don't know how. Even Stacey wouldn't sink so low as Stephen 'Acting school' Beale. Poor Christian! And Sean just became utterly ridiculous. As for Corrie, I enjoyed the use of the term 'bat inspectors' but my main thought for the week was if you HAD to, at gunpoint, who would you sleep with out of David Platt or that gormless kebab shop kid he knocks about with? I honestly have weighed up all the pros and cons and I'd still rather talk out of an extra mouth where my cheek once was than make that decision.
Unfortunately I forgot to tape the show about the Tree Man, but that would have been my highlight.
Turn off- Katie & Peter who have gone from a chuckle at a mild happy-slapping incident to being forced to listen to some chavs playing their music on a loudspeaker on the bus for an HOUR. The words banal and inane do not even scratch the surface. Empty souls, empty heads... and still we watch. They really do win every single time.


Anonymous said...

Congratulations, I think a break from all this televisual filth is long overdue.

Oh, and writing about it too!

Red said...

Alex is an instigator! He dragged his feet so bad on that task... he and that chubby version of Colleen Rooney. I hate her. B

ut Surallan was right when he said to Army Boy, "I know you'd dig me a trench, you'd build me a wall, but you're out of your depth here."

Mind you, though (and I know I say this every year): are these REALLY the brightest stars in the British business firmament? It beggars belief.

* (asterisk) said...

I saw five minutes of Katie and Peter -- the bit where he was sniffing around her snatch, bitching about his missing laces, and holding up normal people in the Qantas queue.

I wanted to kill the fucking pair of them with scissors straight through their cunty eyes. Cunts, the pair of 'em. Total fucking arse-wipes.

Just writing about them here has made me all angry again...

lightupvirginmary said...

jordan has the most monotone voice on earth. I used to feel sorry for him, but I don't anymore. He needs putting out of his misery.