Monday, 28 April 2008

Britain's Next Top Model: Heels

No blog for a week, then you get two. Don't thank me, it's the least I could do.
So this week the girls were taught to dance by someone called Supple (!) who told Lightbulb Head to 'think like a stripper'. There's some aspirational stuff right there. She looked annoyed.
Then in a further masochistic twist they made the mogels walk in stupidly high heels. Seriously, I don't think almost breaking your ankle is that fashionable. I find it quite sadistic. In fact, a lot of things about fashion are- starving women to look like children, forcing them to take their kit off, making them wear painful things. Then the hilarious part is forcing the girl on the street to fork out for it. We really are stupid beyond words.
To emphasise my point, they then made them do a catwalk show wearing newspapers and screwed up paper for outfits.
Then some twat in a furry hat took pictures of them and generally treated them like dogshit. They must have had it in for Lightbulb Head this week, because they made her do a pole dancing picture. Just leave her alone, stop trying to sexualise her, you fucking pervert.
Then they got drunk, had a fight and one of them threw up. That's not entertainment, it's just a night out on any high street in England. No one appealed to me this week, it was just a big dull-fest. the pics were all quite crappy. The black girl went. She wasnt that great- but nor were any of 'em. Off with their heads (and Snowden's too)!


Ossian said...

Of course I never watch any of these things, I just read your reviews. High heels are like that Chinese foot-binding. Tight skirts that you can't walk in are the same sort of thing. (Think geisha shuffle.) They're all about hobbling women so they can't run away. The beastly man thinks, at last - one I can catch. Of course it's all a trap. Ooh look at me, I'm so feeble and helpless. Then chomp, you're emasculated. Byeee! (See a short story in three sentences there.)

Red said...

Of course, it had to be a man who created those horrible shoes. I'd like to see him wear them to walk anywhere...

I thought I would like Aaron, though obviously she's got a stupid name for a girl. Not only that: every year on BNTM they have a northern lass who's mouthy, highly strung and a bit of a twat. Last year it was that girl who looked like the ugly one from Two Pints of Lager... and who kept going on and on about how she was a single mum, so someone, somewhere owed something to her, dammit! Last night, Aaron became that person. Very annoying -- off with her head.

I can't help but like the two red-heads, the bright orange one and Catherine. She's got a chin on her, but I think she could take good pictures... haute couture. And of course, I like Paramore girl!

I thought the best pic last night was the DJ girl, though.

lightupvirginmary said...

you're quite right, but people don't think about it, all the subtle tricks to put us in our place! Then when you point it out to them they are like 'oh I s'pose you want to call a manhole a womanhole next!' And you're just forced to murder them in their beds.

lightupvirginmary said...

Sorry, that previous rant was to Ossian.
Red, I like the chinny redhead one too. And I like the one with short hair who had that bloke kissing her shoulder.
Snowden wasnt in it much, was she? Tyra pops up everywhere.