Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Big Brother USA- The Final

Well, what a weird final. A strange crowd of drones (they may as well have been Mii characters) assembled outside the Big Brother gingerbread house. Where was the baying mob? The banners? Where was Davina? Oh, there she was, advertising hair-dye in the break. Subtle.
It was quite funny when the housemates got to grill Adam and Ryan- Adam started to go a bit manic and lose it, but him offering to give a load of the cash to charity was definitely wise. Ryan sounded much less convincing. I enjoyed Chelsia seemingly turning into a bizarre caricature of herself, but she did ask the pertinent question to Ryan- why would you love someone who branded you a racist on telly?
And were they or weren't they alluding to the Natalie/Matty blowjob? It was probably something else entirely.
And so Adam won, with 6 votes to 1, only Joshuah voted for Ryan to win; as usual, completely out of whack with the rest of the house (but that's why we liked him!)
I'm glad Sheila stayed loyal to Adam. I was hoping he would win, because I didn't want Ryan (or Jen!) to get their hands on half a million bucks. Jen's boobs looked horrible in that dress, all muscly and unfeminine.
And that was that. Adam got half a million, Ryan got 50,000 dollars, which isn't bad losing money. They even gave James 25K at the end for having the most lurid denim and the crappiest tattoos in history. They clearly have money to burn in America- next time- get a new host, that one is really fucking weird.
All in all, this has been the best thing on telly all year by a country-mile, something to genuinely get excited by, and consistently entertaining. It's just a shame hardly anyone watched it.
I'm sure our BB is going to die on it's arse this year by comparison. I wish the producers would take a look at this show, nick some of the tasks, and pick some seriously machiavellian contestants. Oh and then do vote to save instead of evict, then we lose the boring fuckers instead of the loveable bastards.
Just put me in charge and everything will be alright, basically. Vote me!


Anonymous said...

Hahaha, what was with Jacob running to hug Adam as soon as he came out?? I really loved the final and I must admit I liked Julie's take on proceedings - she's loosened up a bit since that robotic first day. I doubt Julie was alluding to the bj, although if she was to tease jury members about what to expect hearing outside I'd have loved her to go "I hope gay porn's up your street Chelsia"

After the jury grilling I switched to wanting Adam to win. NOBODY wanted to hear Ryan profess his love for Jen, Chelsia was on the money when she called it the wrong answer. He should've lied and said he'd steer clear of Jen. After all, lying worked for Adam as he's apparently since retracted his promise to donate 100k to charity :(

I still say Sheila should've won the whole show! I'm so chuffed Sheila came second in the poll for 25k. Obviously I'd rather she got the cuzzash than James, but I was nicely amazed that she got enough votes to at least be second.

Speaking of James's tattoos, I read somewhere that he got them all for free on the agreement that the tattooists could draw what they wanted. I think I'd rather pay for my own designs than spend the rest of my life with an "I AM GOD" freebie on my arse.

And so... after everything I still H.A.T.E Joshuah - and I only hope he takes advantage of his mild international fame with a trip to Soho so I can smack him with my flyers. My most hated BB housemate EVER, I kid you not.

Let us not worry if BB UK is another disappointment next month, I for one intend to download BB USA all summer and I won't hesitate to forward the torrent links!


lightupvirginmary said...

just try and stop me from watching it, I can't believe we get two american ones this year, thats mental.
How do you know these things about adam and james? Oh my god, how could adam go back on his word? And who on EARTH (except Jodie marsh) would get a tattoo of anything as long as it was free!? That's the maddest thing I've ever heard.
I love Josh, forever! Funny as fuck. :-)