Monday, 28 April 2008

Review: Wii Fit

Bloody hell, it was enough of a workout dragging this ginormous box home from Argos Extra in Haringey (it don't get glammer than that, folks) the only place on earth that appeared to have the hallowed Wii Fit in stock. After I had a Mcdonalds and a little rest, I finally fought my way into the box, which again, was more exercise than I get in a year.
As a massive cyber slap in the face, the Wii balance board weighs you in front of your friends, lovers, or family. So normally you lie about how much you weigh, and then here it is, right in your face. To add insult to injury, it declared I was almost obese, then made my little Mii character all fat! I am NOT that shape, like a little tubby flat-chested pre-boob job Sonia Jackson! Fuck you, Nintendo. The good part is, this is so humiliating, it make you want to work out. It also said my fitness age was 31, which was not too bad, really, considering how fucking lazy I am.
I was looking forward to my boyfriend getting humilated as I did, and instead it declared his weight IDEAL! Ideal? SULK! Oh the bright side, it said his fitness age was 41 hehe. So the pain and embarrassment evened out.
Well, I'm happy to report it was all worth it. Wii Fit does the impossible, makes exercising FUN. Yes, you heard that right, from ME! Fucking hell. I remember hoping they'd invent this sort of game decades ago, and now here it is. I love having all my little Mii characters like Morrissey, Conor, Eminem and all my mates joining me for a step class. It's soooo good. The jogging was particularly good and hard (having boobs is definitely a disadvantage). I enjoyed the hula hooping too although I was shit at it. Probably the hardest things are the stuff like push-ups and yoga- feel the burn (sob). I liked the wiggly ball thing, that was good. It's like playing tetris with your body, which sounds sort of rude.
So will I stick at it? Fuck knows, I had a curly-whirly halfway through. But you know, I'll TRY! It's better than nothing, right?
In conclusion, I can't believe I paid £70 to get told I'm fat. It's brilliant. God bless the Japenese.


Anonymous said...

"Japenese"?? Tut tut!

I can't wait to try out the Wii Fit, though I might end up smashing it as I ain't having anyone talk to me like that.


lightupvirginmary said...

hahaha- sorry that exercise scrambled my brain. Exercise makes you thick! PROOF!
JOTV- you need to come round and see my cat and play on Wii Fit. We need to sort Whirly out!

* (asterisk) said...

I have the feeling you are officially insane.

lightupvirginmary said...

do I get an official badge? :-)