Friday, 25 July 2014

Big Brother 2014: S.T.E.V.E.N.P.U.S.H.O.F.F

I haven't written a blog since I was called shallow and illiterate - too busy crying. Not really, I've been wondering how they're gonna fix Big Brother next. At least I predicted it in my last blog; we were enjoying the show too much; they had to ruin it again, by putting the favourite up. And the most scary part was, Steven could have been saved from the block with that stupid twist. That could have actually happened. Scary, isn't it?
Why has Zoe got a hunchback? Perhaps she's growing a tail. New housemates got shafted big time by the old housemates this week; they're not gameplanning, they're just boring. I actually feel a bit sorry for them because they're being ostracised for no reason. Helen's dressed like X Factor US era Cheryl Cole.
They are showing Ashleigh saying she doesn't think she's going! Mixers. It's another few quid in the pocket of Bruv, innit.
The old housemates patronising Pav is quite annoying. I wish Winston would get off his case.
I don't think Chris needs tasks that make him look more creepy. And I don't think Zoe gives many 'lob ons'. Mark is more assaulting Christopher than arousing him.
BBUK housemates are not cut out for endurance. Good to see them strategising already, though. Steven: 'I could stay here all night.' Just like his sex sessions. I see the gunge is back. They must have got a job lot off ebay. But the REAL task is... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Get who out? Sounds like Zoe. Yet she had the fewest votes, WTF. I don't get why Pav is getting booed.
Kimberly is Steve's friends and family now. Tragic. Are they chanting 'cheat' at her? I wish Steven's mum would fuck off. That friends and family section went on for aeons.
Why don't Mark and Steven judge the newbies on face value and not on hearsay?
Mark treats Christopher like a piece of shit. He's like a mini Pauline the way he treats Christopher. His game has gone out the window this week.
Steven it's too late for 'journey' talk. Hit the road. Did Zoe really say she was only fit to talk to celebs? Dearie me. And once she was safe, too!
Are the crowd really chanting 'get Pav out'? But it was Steven! Thank god.
He has to have the eye shut during his interview like a proper hate figure. He looks under the cosh. Of course you don't agree with people putting you up, idiot.
No 30 seconds to say goodbye to Kimberly, boo hoo. Steven didn't look embarrassed about ANY of his highlights. Shameless.
Five people have had sex in the Big Brother house? Is the odd number Kinga?
Emma going on at Steven about the sex. Blah. Ooh, she's mentioning him being controlling, good. And the photos. Steven doesn't get it and will never get it. I honestly think he's unhinged.
Ooh, he's put on a few pounds in the house, hasn't he. No ham on toast in his best bits? Poor cow.
Kimberly nearly got smacked on the head with the eye. Their cuddle was so awkward! Steven wants booze, not robo-fanny. I doubt if his mum will leave his side all night, the interfering old bag.
We have the power to protect a housemate? The REAL task will probably be that they get the boot. This is what happens when you lose the trust of your viewers. That and your ratings go the way of Mark's popularity. Night!

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