5.45am wake up call? The world of business is not for me. I'm busy taking a stroll down blanket street towards the Land of Nod at that time of morning.
Why is Lordy talking to them from off a balcony? Balconies do make everything sexier, don't they? Except this.
Ooh, they are creating magazines. Look at Glenn winking at Jim, is he going to pinch his arse, too? Guess who's not taking who back into the boardroom if it all goes willys up.
OMG this Natasha person is ODIOUS. Lads mags. What a dick she is. The other team are doing over 60s. Even worse! Over 60s just read puzzle books or newspapers *generalising*.
My mum is over 60, though, and she certainly doesn't bowl. She just drinks in an armchair and watches ITV cos 'there's nothing good on the other channels'.
OMG! Glenn said older people might not understand humour. Uh-oh. Nick is LIVID.
Why have they chosen this demographic?! They know fuck all about it. The hatchet man is coming for Jim this week, mark my words. Alan's been gunning for him from a few week's back.
I like the suggestion of calling the mag 'Zimmer'. All their suggestions sounded like the names of hair colours or face creams.
Lads mags focus group. Even writing the words 'lads mags' annoys me. No, I won't put the apostrophe in. Who reads magazines? Women! Women in their 20s and 30s. Are they stupid? Oh.
More names for the mag: Pension mention? Old boot? Hip replacement! WTF? Are they mental? Oh, Jim, you're going DOWN. DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWN. 'Life Begins' would have been a much better title.
I was going to lazily call my blog 'Pulp Friction' but that just got replaced, quick smart.
So the lads mags team are objectifying women for their task. Lush. Then they went up to people in the street and asked them 'how do you blow your load?' Fucking hell. Did the other team spike their drinks with Viagra? And they said they were 'raising the tone' of lads mags! *insert raising something else joke here*
At least the branding on the lads mag looks good. The OAPs one is gross.
I feel like Glenn and Jim are having a competition to out-douche each other. What a pair of bozos.
Do you ever open the door to a delivery man and go 'I'm the editor of Covered magazine?' Me neither. Do sex and business mix? Only in bad pornos.
Oh, the advertisers don't like the title 'hip replacement'? I'm really shocked by that. *straightface* Nick is gunning for Jim! I think Nick would happily whack Jim over the head with a shovel and bury the body in his back garden, then walk away whistling.
Natasha is 'uber, 100% taking the last one.' What's that? Medal in the bad-cliche competition? Cunt trophy?
Advertising looks like a very boring industry. I don't think Jim would know edgy if Nick pushed him off one.
OMG I hate Natasha soooo much. 'Dollar in your pocket'. Fuck off.
Also, over 60s don't really go on the tube, which is where you get those free mags. Why is that woman slagging off cardigans? I wear cardigans pretty much every single day. Mind you, I do work for a charity. It's virtually the dress code.
I don't think Glenn or Jim understand humour, which is ironic, as they're both a walking joke.
LOL to Alan being sexist to Karren. MISOGYNY in the boardroom. Well, I never.
Jim is going. I'm telling you. I'd blow my load on it.
It's all very well for Susie to go 'I didn't back the title' but she backed it by not arguing against it better. And Jim can blame Zoe for thinking of it, but he was virtually blowing HIS load over it. Oh well, IT IS WHAT IT IS, as the scunt-wearing arseholes say.
LOL Jim and Glenn are arguing! Is love's young dream over so soon? Winky winky. Never mind, they'll probably still drag all the girls back in the boardroom, like they do every week.
Susie's catchphrase should be 'that's so unfair!' followed by a sad face. Grow a fucking spine, ffs.
Nick is digging Jim out. I think he's going to put a bag over his head on the way home and give him the Phil and Masood treatment.
Haha, Alan just made me laugh with his Agatha Cristie play joke. I'm losing my grip on life.
Can't believe Susie is only 21. But bringing up your age is a deluded Big Brother contestant move.
OMG he fired Glenn! What about Jim?! Double eviction? Don't get me wrong, I hate Glenn. But JIM! Golden opportunity! Jim stayed. My load has been blown. And it was no fun.
PS: sorry for all the asterisks, I'm in a funny mood today.***********
4 comments:
Don't apologize for asterisks ever. Good post!
It was so painful to watch at the beginning this week, I almost went out of my mind. I was swearing at them really angrily, like it was the Hate Hour in 1984.
The agencies placing thousands of pounds worth of advertising was all a cod, wasn't it - no such thing. And one of the agencies assassinated Hip Replacement by buying a ludicrous amount of the other one. I hated both of the concepts so much I was in pain for the whole show. I thought it would all be worthwhile if only Jim got fired, the arrogant self-adoring waste of space - but he didn't.
well, you would say that, *. ;)
Why DIDN'T Jim get fired?!!!
you are top google result for '"dollar in your pocket" apprentice'
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