Wednesday, 22 June 2011

The Apprentice: Teapot tyrants

Roll up, roll up for the entrepreneurial elite! They're off to France. Will Tom soar as team leader? Will Susie lead Venture or that other rubbish team name to victory?
Do the French like their children? They don't like tourists, I know that much. Especially not English ones *bad flashbacks*.
I quite like the teapot light and the pop-up postcards. Melody is grating on my nerves. So, you speak French? People at my work speak about ten languages each. Not me, obviously. But them. And they don't brag about it. They just listen in on other people who are speaking French having conversations.
People DO use cars in France! I hate the Paris Metro *bad flashbacks*.
Melody is running rings around Tom, just because she can. I don't like her domineering attitude. He should tell her what's what.
And whilst I like the teapot, I wouldn't pay more than a tenner for it.
Oh Susie, it must be so EMBARRASSING being able to fit your arse into a child seat. No, it's embarrassing having to take up two seats on a aeroplane, you insensitive sap.
I don't like seeing my little Tom under pressure. I want to give him a cuddle.
Melody seems to be on fire. Even though she's a complete arsehole, she can sell.
Eek, worried Susie took it at the end with her mobile phone holders.
Melody should take the fall tonight. She dissed that car seat product hard. I'm really concerned Tom is going to go. *This is my concerned face*.
Flying lessons as a treat? No thanks, I'll pass. I'd rather to to the greasy spoon.
I've never even noticed that woman before who got the 200K deal. Surely she's going to win the whole thing?! DARK HORSE. She looked well smug at the end.
Melody reminds me of someone I work with who gets on my nerves. It's that one-tone voice, going on and on.
Orlando Bloom did fuck all tonight. Alan is right to have a go at him. But I don't want him, Tom or Melody to go, really. They're all good characters.
I want a 'Woman of the Future' award! I think Melody has said 'absolutely' about 12 thousand times tonight.
Yeah, Orlando has been 'on the ground' selling. He's been 'out in the field'. In a shopping mall.
Paper scissors stone gate! Melody's safe so either way we're going to lose some totty. Darn it.
Ah, Orlando went. Back to wooden acting for him. Tom survives again. Next week; Tom models himself on Melody by wearing dramatic eyeliner and setting up secret deals with Tunnocks.


LillianZahra said...

Melody still sounded like a robot while speaking "fluent" French, I'm terrified at the prospect of having to work with someone like that. So glad Tom didn't go, he's still my favourite.

Anonymous said...

What did we learn from this, arguably the most cringe-worthy episode of this season so far (and therefore utterly brilliant)?
1. Me-Me-Melody speaks six languages. Two of them are French and Bullshit.
2. Leon is about as much use as a chocolate teapot-cum-lamp (but we knew that already).
3. People actually drive cars in France. Who’d have thought it?
4. A good place to sell a mobile phone accessory is a mobile phone shop. No s**t, Sherlock.
5. Everyone ignores Tom’s consistently good ideas, including Tom himself.

Ossian said...

Melody lied about what the people in France said. They liked the child seat / backpack but she didn't so she said they didn't drive, they used the Metro. Plus she got away with murder by claiming that all the sales calls she booked were for her. The idea was to book them for the team. She only wasn't fired because Lord Alan has the hots for her. Injustice.