Wednesday, 11 May 2011

The Apprentice: Is that victory I taste? (no, it's arseholery)

Why am I watching this shit two days in a row? It's not Misfits or BBUSA. App task! Ooh, it's a futuristic Apprentice.
Loving the app jokes. What a bunch of tools. Orlando Bloom is team leader today. Edna for the girls. I reckon Edna's gonna kick arse. I wouldn't fuck with her- I saw the way she was eyeing Melody yesterday.
Some guy barking 'traffic light' as an idea for an app. Fab. OMG they're going with a regional slang app. WTF. Who would bother downloading it? They should do a devilishly addictive game.
I feel sorry for Suzie, even though she couldn't get her point out, she seems a lot more normal than everyone else.
The girls decided on an irritating noise app. They could just make an app of their voices. Done.
I hate Melody's 'I don't have a view on it'. Get off the fence, you robot! Aren't you a human being? Can't you empathise with someone?
So, the boy's app is basically racist, or like the Worms computer game with all the fun parts taken out of it.
Luckily for them, the girl's app is just as bad.
This guy with the glasses on is a humourless prick, yo.
LOL to Edna giving herself the presentation to do. There's your rope - go hang yourself.
Melody: 'it is what it is.' HOW PROFOUND. I've never heard anyone say that before! Amazing.
Ok, so the boys app is a bit better looking. But they are both terrible. And the boys presentation blows.
Why is it called 'slangatang'? I get the slang but not the tang.
The girl's app is actually embarrassing. I hope they're not charging for it.
Ha, they've been called out on being racist, now. Yet they're going on like that meeting went really well. It didn't.
Ha! Look at Edna working the Madonna mic. Check out the leather gloves. She's going down this week. DAHN!
The boys presentation was cheeky and good. And they employed bribes. Good move.
No ways, I can't believe the girls won with that shit app. I love all the boys readjusting their ties. One of them looked like he wanted to nut someone.
Nooooo! Don't boot out Orlando. Get rid of that dude who did the duff presentation.
Oh, maybe it is still the same cafe after all.
I like inventor dude. He's cute. I heart geeks. I like Bloom changing his mind about who to bring back in the boardroom. Good arguing by the guy who wrote the text there!
Don't bin Bloom!
I know about creating content for a global audience. Regional accents; notsomuch.
Leon is too nice to be a boss. I think they've pruned this boardroom part a bit, which is good. It used to drag on way too long.
I'm glad he fired that Alex guy, he wasn't interesting. Bloom rides again. Now, please don't tell me this shit is on tomorrow, too.


Ossian said...

don't worry, it's not on again till next week.

that one who just kept trying to explain what her idea was when she really didn't have a baldy notion of an idea, she had to be stopped though, even though you like her. that was crass and it was clear she had never used a smartphone or navigator in her life or she wouldn't have been trying to suggest Google Maps basically, not that i blame her for not knowing those but she should have realised she was talking drivel.

if they'd come up with a clever app, no way could the programmers have had it working by the next day. somebody must have told them it has to be something with sound recordings and pictures.

if i'd said just off the top of my head, let's have an app that scans your palm and tells your fortune, the programmers would have said can't do it. it would have to do all those life lines etc etc.

Chris Stokes said...

Missed it again! Working nights will do that. In fact I think I'm better off just reading your blogs. They will prove indispensable

Ossian said...

Another hilarious bit was when the commentator said the presentation in Earls Court was to "500 blogging and Twitter technology experts" and the camera panned to a hall full scraggy adolescent boys in the throes of lonely geekdom.