Emma is looking fiiiine tonight. Still, no excuse for the way she treated Hazel, lol.
So it seems to me whoever we vote to win is gonna have to kick someone out tonight. That could be a double edged sword. It's a short journey from top of the tree to out the door on your ear; that's showbiz etc.
Eileen: 'Morning great British public.' I think you meant idiot general public. Strawberry jam-alogy.
Why is Aaron crying, cos Chloe doesn't like him? Who cares. I don't even know who Chloe is. I like Aaron's PJ bottoms, they're like technicolour bricks.
Aaron is blowing Chloe's mind with his frilly socks and 'trainers with tails' on. You don't get that in Doncaster. Well in Northampton that's considered conservative.
LOL Joel has to go on the exercise bike ala Calum. Is that five hundred bananas in the basket? This task is cheap as fuck.
Christian taking his top off to go on that bike is groo. He makes me SICK.
'Got a really good rack on her, innit.' Great chat up line, Keiran.
Jade: 'Danny's soul is so gentle.' Er, OK. Get your buttcheeks off the diary room chair, Gary Busey wouldn't get away with that. Where's James Jordan when you need him?
Ted is shooting paintballs at Aaron. Another cheap as fuck task, they probably had that dry wipe board out the back. Numberwang!
Gary Busey pretending to be afraid of balloons was better. Who's really scared of balloons? I believe those people who jerk off with balloons more.
Troll talk; one of the twins has got a baggy fanny and a lopsided face. And that's the attractive one. Wait til you come out! There'll be so many trolls under your bridge you and your sister will be trip-trapping all the way to The Priory, faster than Billy Goats Gruff.
Nick admitting to being a troll, lol. We want to know who he trolled! He's kicking his gameplan up a notch. He shouldn't say that though as it gives people a reason to vote for you.
Does Danny wear fake tan? No, he's naturally orange. Bitch, please.
Technotronics with fish guts? Why has she got goggles on? Health and safety? What is it in the bucket? I don't know what's going on. Where's Maaaaark when you need him?
Danny will hereforth be known as canoe. With an upside down U. That's his nickname sorted at least. We thought 'misogyny' would have been better but the cunt can probably spell that as he's got an A in it.
'Who are ya!' The new 'You fell over!' I fell over at work the other day and both my shoes fell off. Stylish.
Jack and Joe....l are in the bath. LOL to Joel chucking a drink over Aaron. A friend of mine isn't speaking to me for doing that to someone last week. I think in the bath you get a pass, though. You're wet anyway. WARNING! Call Offcom etc.
They had to draw the line at chucking around the maxi muscle though. Cristian stepped in to save it, like a poor man's Luke Scrace.
I like that Joel, he's kind of cheeky. 20 minutes in bed is fine! He's gonna get slung out on his ear within the week.
Adjoa's finger fucking chat is amazing. She's pretty to the point. Chloe: 'Where do you find 'em?' 'All over.'
Do people really say pussy? LOL. I don't, it's gross. Adjoa is a self-proclaimed 'black gay.' I love her.
Cristian working out with a pillow on his back was brilliant - a reverse Jay McCrae. This has picked up in the last ten minutes.
Bhahaha Cristian the Maxi Muscle merchant is crying because the girls were picking on him! LOLZ. OMG even Danny's slagging him off. Brilliant. What's wrong with him!? What a big girls' blouse. (Sexist). Him crying in the Diary Room with his sunnies on was pure joy.
So the vote to win is between Jack, Harriet and Danny. I don't even know who Harriet is, so how is that possible? Also, Danny. Er...
Harriet, shut your yap and listen FFS. I love the way my boyfriend walks out the room as Big Brother is going 3...2...1 and I have to pause it. Very considerate! Get my permission before you leave the room, please!
Jackjoe is the winner. Who will he evict? The series is over! If only, lol.
I like Aaron's pool ball outfit. That's hundo percent chic.
They're giving JackJoe a carget. Iris has had a demotion to a ten inch TV. Come back Pauline, all is forgiven.
JackJoe is so red in the face. Does he really think he's gonna get a BMW! Poor sod. He's gotta leave now to get it! Take the car and go. That would be too funny. Hold on, he can't even drive. As if they make the prize fund drop to nothing. Nonsense. That twist was whack. Should have made him evict someone on the spot. Oh, hold on.
Nick looks sick at having to nom face to face. He's always shaking, bless him. Feel sorry for him.
Nick nommed Adjoa and Sarah! Boo! Two strong women! Cos Sarah's a golddigger! Should have put Jack up cos he's got immunity and he's too popular! Flush out the immunity! Silly sod. Sarah took it quite well. She'll probably machete his balls off before the week is out.
Bilecast coming! See you then.
Friday, 15 May 2015
Thursday, 14 May 2015
Big Brother 2015: I'm not at home
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Wednesday, 13 May 2015
Big Brother 2015: I like pussy
So, what did our scrap of live feed reveal? Adjoa is one to watch, there's something intriguing about her. Danny and Cristian are the new 'slutbuckets'/Jungle Cats, ie. sexist pricks. I quote: 'What's the fucking point of putting single women in here?' Yeah, what is the point in birds you can't bang, hey? Might as well be dead. Cristian actually reminds me of Kris, aka the Mighty Douche, that cunt who used to work in All Saints and was trying to fuck Princess Manky Teeth, who was in Rex's year. Watching him try and construct a conversation with JackJoePieface was criminal. 'Where'd you know your friends from, school?' Mint bantz right there. I think he's also a bit of a homophobe: 'men don't share beds' - grow up. The other comparison is of course, Ricci from Celebrity Big Brother. And you know fine well how that turned out. Who's casting this show?!
So how much recap are we going to have to eat? I can't believe I missed 'is that your real voice' yesterday. Blog writing fail. They are rattling through the housemates, and they really need to. So. many. people.
Joel: 'a better looking Leonardo Dicaprio'. Not hard to muster that up these days, Leo looks like a fat tramp, and hanging round all those young models doesn't help. Have a fucking shave, for Christ's sake.
What's the point of all these housemates who don't drink, more like. Don't drink, don't fuck, what do they fucking do?
LOL to Showbiz going 'You look like Sinitta' to Adjoa. I wonder how often black people have to hear 'you look like *someone who looks fuck all like you*' a week? Big Brother really is a microcosm of how women have to cope in society, how black people have to cope and how gay people have to cope with pricks like Danny and Cristian and Adjoa is all three, so she really has her work cut out in that house.
Aw to Nick pretending managing a McDonalds is cool. He seems really sweet. My boyf thinks Nick is going to go deep and have a 'journey'. I hope so. He has got Dexter/Ben Duncan vibes and that's no bad thing.
Andrew: 'I just blow shit up.' Hopefully his game! What a knob. Football! Lowest common denominator conversation for men with nothing else to say for themselves. If a taxi driver tries to talk to my boyfriend about football, he won't even engage with it. I have to talk about it! I know fuck all about it, except the usual (racists, sexists, wifebeaters etc).
A friend on Twitter has just pointed out to me that football idiot is not called Andrew. Hopefully I won't have to learn his name. He's so fucking boring there'll be nothing to write about anyway.
Nick is possibly a true gamer with all this humble crap. The boy could go far. As long as he doesn't try and you know, have sex with Cristian because boys don't share beds. And Cristian is so smoking hot he will turn straight men gay, or so he obviously thinks.
My boyf thinks Simon going was a fix but how can it be when they offered them the Deal or no Deal swap, too? I'm really pleased Adjoa was saved, you know. I think she's going to be good value.
LOL to Jade crying at Simon going. I'd be thanking Jesus.
'He was too much of a good housemate to be go.' Who said that?! Ha. Adjoa should be pleased she's not gone, not coveting JackJoe's immunity.
Why IS Aaron wearing a zebra outfit?! He's going in the 'eek' pile.
I like Adjoa asking Jade if she has children, ha. Jade is basically saying she's 'open' to women and then Adjoa goes 'you don't want to feel their pussy and that?' Told you she was one to watch. Classic BB.
Nick is 19! No wonder he hasn't got a job. Its not like he's 28 or something. I was unemployed when I was 19 too, I just didn't have a swimming pool and I watched Jerry Springer instead of cartoons.
Oh dear, politics chat. This is head in hands stuff. Joel admits he's a Tory. Better than UKIP, I suppose, although, you know, basically the same thing.
LOL to Sarah laughing in Cristian's face when he said he was a rapper. Quality.
So Adjoa says she's a lesbian and someone goes 'so you don't like boys at all?' Do you understand what a fucking lesbian is? I love the way she said 'I like pussy.' She's brilliant. It's so offensive when people say 'Have you tried sleeping with guys.' Have YOU, Keiran? Shut the fuck up then. She knows her own mind, just like you do, why should she have to explain herself? Talk about straight privilege.
I just like the way Adjoa is, she's just in her own little world. Criminal to think she had a 50/50 chance of leaving. Everyone's going 'what a great first night twist' but I don't think it was worth it, or it could have not been, let's put it that way.
Oh here we go with Cristian not wanting to share a bed with Nick. 'Guys don't sleep in the same bed.' What about gay guys? Cristian is revolting in more ways than one. Is he 12?
Adjoa is on heat. She even seems turned on by Eileen's tattoo.
LOL they are showing this awks conversation with Cristian and JackJoe. Pieface: the origin story. Cristian *deadpan*: 'I don't have a nickname.' I'm sure we can think of one, writing Cristian repeatedly without the 'h' is driving me bananas anyway. Mind you, I'm not exactly shocked his mum couldn't spell with this mastermind for a son.
Keiran is bugging me, but he's got nothing on Showbiz, so we need to be grateful for small mercies.
This Danny prick is getting on my nerves as well, in his Kylie hood thinking he's a baddass. 'Aaron is sketchy.' Why? Because he's gay? He doesn't like Sarah either because even though she's 'a good looking bird' she's 'bossy' ie. she won't fuck him. I liked her rolling her eyes at him: because he's a knob.
So now Danny can judge Sarah for having a baby as well. I heard him on the live feed saying she shouldn't leave her baby for 10 weeks, the sexist twat. No one would bat an eye if a guy did that.
They are all hating on JackJoe for his immunity. No one would nominate him anyway so who cares? I like JackJoe better than Jack and Joe, but then I like White Dee better that I liked Jack and Joe, so it's not saying much.
Why is Cristian sitting on the bed with Nick? Oh my god, that's so gay! Is he a shirtlifter (t.m. Jim Davidson) or something? His friends are gonna be giving him such a ribbing down the cunt shop when he gets out.
The next person who mentions football - just kill me. I can't bear it.
Adjoa is hot for Sarah. Jade: not so much. She is not connecting energies with Sarah. I'd rather talk about football that 'energy.' Next it'll be crystals, then the meditation and then probably fucking starsigns or something.
Aaron is upset that Simon has gone as he 'could have been a good leader' - what?! Only if you want to be led into musical theatre.
Danny having a go at Aaron again: 'He takes a lot of getting used to.' The homophobia is seeping out of you, along with the sexism. You should see a doctor for that, straight boy.
The jungle prats are playing 'snog marry avoid' basically. They think they could get with the twins even though they have boyfriends. Did they learn nothing from Ash and Marlon's absolutely not fantastic 'slutbuckets' chat? These two are so stupidly offensive that I'm finding them enjoyable: yet they'll carry on like this and still get cheered when they leave because, well, you know, idiot general public, innit? But any woman who leaves who's good looking or wearing a skirt? Well they're just slags, aint they? Just birds for fucking. Any hole's a goal etc. And so it begins.
So how much recap are we going to have to eat? I can't believe I missed 'is that your real voice' yesterday. Blog writing fail. They are rattling through the housemates, and they really need to. So. many. people.
Joel: 'a better looking Leonardo Dicaprio'. Not hard to muster that up these days, Leo looks like a fat tramp, and hanging round all those young models doesn't help. Have a fucking shave, for Christ's sake.
What's the point of all these housemates who don't drink, more like. Don't drink, don't fuck, what do they fucking do?
LOL to Showbiz going 'You look like Sinitta' to Adjoa. I wonder how often black people have to hear 'you look like *someone who looks fuck all like you*' a week? Big Brother really is a microcosm of how women have to cope in society, how black people have to cope and how gay people have to cope with pricks like Danny and Cristian and Adjoa is all three, so she really has her work cut out in that house.
Aw to Nick pretending managing a McDonalds is cool. He seems really sweet. My boyf thinks Nick is going to go deep and have a 'journey'. I hope so. He has got Dexter/Ben Duncan vibes and that's no bad thing.
Andrew: 'I just blow shit up.' Hopefully his game! What a knob. Football! Lowest common denominator conversation for men with nothing else to say for themselves. If a taxi driver tries to talk to my boyfriend about football, he won't even engage with it. I have to talk about it! I know fuck all about it, except the usual (racists, sexists, wifebeaters etc).
A friend on Twitter has just pointed out to me that football idiot is not called Andrew. Hopefully I won't have to learn his name. He's so fucking boring there'll be nothing to write about anyway.
Nick is possibly a true gamer with all this humble crap. The boy could go far. As long as he doesn't try and you know, have sex with Cristian because boys don't share beds. And Cristian is so smoking hot he will turn straight men gay, or so he obviously thinks.
My boyf thinks Simon going was a fix but how can it be when they offered them the Deal or no Deal swap, too? I'm really pleased Adjoa was saved, you know. I think she's going to be good value.
LOL to Jade crying at Simon going. I'd be thanking Jesus.
'He was too much of a good housemate to be go.' Who said that?! Ha. Adjoa should be pleased she's not gone, not coveting JackJoe's immunity.
Why IS Aaron wearing a zebra outfit?! He's going in the 'eek' pile.
I like Adjoa asking Jade if she has children, ha. Jade is basically saying she's 'open' to women and then Adjoa goes 'you don't want to feel their pussy and that?' Told you she was one to watch. Classic BB.
Nick is 19! No wonder he hasn't got a job. Its not like he's 28 or something. I was unemployed when I was 19 too, I just didn't have a swimming pool and I watched Jerry Springer instead of cartoons.
Oh dear, politics chat. This is head in hands stuff. Joel admits he's a Tory. Better than UKIP, I suppose, although, you know, basically the same thing.
LOL to Sarah laughing in Cristian's face when he said he was a rapper. Quality.
So Adjoa says she's a lesbian and someone goes 'so you don't like boys at all?' Do you understand what a fucking lesbian is? I love the way she said 'I like pussy.' She's brilliant. It's so offensive when people say 'Have you tried sleeping with guys.' Have YOU, Keiran? Shut the fuck up then. She knows her own mind, just like you do, why should she have to explain herself? Talk about straight privilege.
I just like the way Adjoa is, she's just in her own little world. Criminal to think she had a 50/50 chance of leaving. Everyone's going 'what a great first night twist' but I don't think it was worth it, or it could have not been, let's put it that way.
Oh here we go with Cristian not wanting to share a bed with Nick. 'Guys don't sleep in the same bed.' What about gay guys? Cristian is revolting in more ways than one. Is he 12?
Adjoa is on heat. She even seems turned on by Eileen's tattoo.
LOL they are showing this awks conversation with Cristian and JackJoe. Pieface: the origin story. Cristian *deadpan*: 'I don't have a nickname.' I'm sure we can think of one, writing Cristian repeatedly without the 'h' is driving me bananas anyway. Mind you, I'm not exactly shocked his mum couldn't spell with this mastermind for a son.
Keiran is bugging me, but he's got nothing on Showbiz, so we need to be grateful for small mercies.
This Danny prick is getting on my nerves as well, in his Kylie hood thinking he's a baddass. 'Aaron is sketchy.' Why? Because he's gay? He doesn't like Sarah either because even though she's 'a good looking bird' she's 'bossy' ie. she won't fuck him. I liked her rolling her eyes at him: because he's a knob.
So now Danny can judge Sarah for having a baby as well. I heard him on the live feed saying she shouldn't leave her baby for 10 weeks, the sexist twat. No one would bat an eye if a guy did that.
They are all hating on JackJoe for his immunity. No one would nominate him anyway so who cares? I like JackJoe better than Jack and Joe, but then I like White Dee better that I liked Jack and Joe, so it's not saying much.
Why is Cristian sitting on the bed with Nick? Oh my god, that's so gay! Is he a shirtlifter (t.m. Jim Davidson) or something? His friends are gonna be giving him such a ribbing down the cunt shop when he gets out.
The next person who mentions football - just kill me. I can't bear it.
Adjoa is hot for Sarah. Jade: not so much. She is not connecting energies with Sarah. I'd rather talk about football that 'energy.' Next it'll be crystals, then the meditation and then probably fucking starsigns or something.
Aaron is upset that Simon has gone as he 'could have been a good leader' - what?! Only if you want to be led into musical theatre.
Danny having a go at Aaron again: 'He takes a lot of getting used to.' The homophobia is seeping out of you, along with the sexism. You should see a doctor for that, straight boy.
The jungle prats are playing 'snog marry avoid' basically. They think they could get with the twins even though they have boyfriends. Did they learn nothing from Ash and Marlon's absolutely not fantastic 'slutbuckets' chat? These two are so stupidly offensive that I'm finding them enjoyable: yet they'll carry on like this and still get cheered when they leave because, well, you know, idiot general public, innit? But any woman who leaves who's good looking or wearing a skirt? Well they're just slags, aint they? Just birds for fucking. Any hole's a goal etc. And so it begins.
Tuesday, 12 May 2015
Big Brother 2015: Launch night - Tick tick boom
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Sunday, 26 April 2015
Documentary: Montage of Heck
I went to see Montage of Heck today, the documentary about Kurt Cobain. It's impossible to write about in a vacuum, because the story, the time period etc had such a profound impact on everyone of that era who was a Nirvana fan or a teenager when Kurt died. I'm sure everyone has their own story about that time, and the impact of his death culturally and emotionally. Like Patty's documentary Hit So Hard, this was very painful to watch at times and me and my friend who went to see it both came out of the cinema needing a Valium and a nice sit down.
Now here's a confession; I don't like Kurt Cobain very much. I loved him so much when I was a teenager that when he killed himself, I took it as a personal insult. I felt so deeply betrayed by him, I barely ever listened to Nirvana again. I saw him as weak and Courtney as strong, and I just thought him leaving Frances was unforgivable. I also feel like he was a bit of a pissy cunt; at one point in this documentary he goes he doesn't care about the fame, just the songs, but that wasn't true for him, just like it isn't for Morrissey. Kurt wanted the fame, but couldn't live with it when he got it. I always thought he was kind of a dick with how embarrassed he was about being seen as 'mainstream'. But hey, you get what you want and you never want it again, right?
Twenty years later and I forgive him for the suicide; I realise it was a lot more complex than it was inside my teenage brain. He was a seriously ill man, mentally and physically. But Nirvana have stayed in that kind of time capsule for me, whereas I've carried Courtney with me ever since. So it's a weird clash of nostalgia to be taken back to that time.
I think some of the childhood stuff could have been cut; I feel like I've done Kurt's childhood to death; Heavier than Heaven was a bit like Morrissey and Marr; a thesis in Kurt Cobain that we had to read back when we were greebos. I had Kurt Cobain: The Diaries and I like seeing all his doodles and lists and things (like Courtney's) but I wonder if HE would like it? And the documentary being named after his old mixtape? He was so concerned about image that I wonder if he would cringe a bit at seeing them animating his childhood doodles? I don't know, it doesn't quite sit right with me, but then some of his little bon mots were genius. He was a really intelligent man, but he just thought too much. Like when he did a doodle of Courtney and said 'You talk to much.' She does, so he mustn't have had much time to think when she was around. Probably that was part of her appeal.
I also didn't like the animated parts of the documentary that much; especially in contrast to Kurt's own drawings, which were considerably better. I just thought it was a bit pointless or a bit out of place, but my friend didn't mind it.The music was very powerful in the documentary, except for a kind of pan pipes version of one Nirvana song at the beginning, plus I don't like that kids' choir singing 'Teen spirit', it's creepy. But on the whole, the music was just so loud and powerful it just felt like you were being blasted with a hairdryer of pure pain. It was pretty effective.
I was surprised to see Kurt's dad and stepmum in the film; I don't remember seeing much about them before, although I must have read plenty about them and just forgotten it. His dad looked like a square and his stepmum looked like a leathery lizard. His mum is beautiful, and sad. Yeah he got passed around when he was younger, but his childhood was no worse than most people's I know. I think his problems ran deeper; I think his problems were in his psyche and drugs gave him a break, from when he was little onwards.
It was a shame they wheeled out his first girlfriend again; this woman gets more airtime on Kurt and Courtney documentaries than Dave Grohl (more of which later). Would you want your first boyfriend/girlfriend sharing their memories of you again and again? It's just cringey and lowest common denominator..
Krist Novoselic cut a sad sort of figure, in his pristine, Scandinavian-esque house. I think it was when they cut to Nirvana's music blaring out screaming and then cut back to him as my friend Sarah said, kind of 'covering up' for Kurt, it just felt a bit tragic. I liked him in the old clips as the only one with a sense of humour (for the most part, although Kurt was having some moustache-related bantz in the bathroom with Courtney later). Let's be honest Dave 'Kurt hated him' Grohl doesn't have much of anything to offer, and was mainly notable by his absence in this documentary, which I was pleased about. Krist was the real deal, and he must be haunted by memories too, as well as befuddled by the popularity of the Foo Fighters, like the rest of us. There's only so long that Nirvana goodwill should have lasted, and it should have run out in about 1995. God knows what happened there.
All the old Nirvana footage, magazine covers etc made me feel so nostalgic for that time, my brothers, growing up, it was just a completely different time. Every image, clip, song in this documentary took me back to my bedroom, me taping every Nirvana video or performance on the VCR. The most powerful clip was probably the 'Unplugged' footage played to death by MTV and ruined for years, but here you could see it in isolation and just how amazing it was, and tragic. The Smells like Teen Spirit video, seen for the first time, is brilliant. The nuts and bolts of it are beautiful. Criminal what they did to his legacy, really. MTV definitely made me hate several of the songs just because I was so tired of hearing them.
It felt like a very long time until Courtney showed up, but of course, these were some of the most powerful parts of the documentary. I thought we were going to get a Kurt and Courtney sex tape at one point! Courtney is right, he was more beautiful than Brad Pitt and it was obvious how much she adored him. The video footage of their relationship was so personal, and so revealing; the strength of their love, and their addiction. The clip towards the end where she's trying to get him to hold Frances and he's all scabby and nearly passing out was just horrendous. Could nobody see it? Courtney seemed far more 'with it' than him; he was deathly ill at that point, already. I'm certain he would have died one way or the other, it was just a matter of time. Terrifying to think of Frances being brought up by them at that time; but she looked like such a pudgy, healthy baby. I honestly don't know how Courtney and Frances watched this documentary together, it's just so raw.
The last clip of them in the bathroom with Frances and Courtney in the bath felt so personal. When Courtney says something like, 'I feel kind of happy right now' and he said, 'I do, too' it was just too much. He was dead four months later.
Whatever you think of Courtney, and I've heard everything people think, most of the time very much uninvited, he loved her from the bottom of his heart. Getting the crowd at Reading to say they loved her was just beautiful, and I know there are many more examples of this (The Word, etc). Even his death threats to journalists were quite romantic. I think it's sad the way she's never found anyone who can live up to him, who worships her the way he did. Do I believe she never cheated on him? No. But it's irrelevant. Their love was undeniable. I wish we could see more of the footage of the Courtney interview, but then I always want more Courtney. I just find her so fascinating. She is such a strong, flawed character.
The Heart Shaped Box era always gives me a sense of dread, because it was, of course, right near the end. Was 'I hate myself and I want to die' literal? I think we got the answer to that one.
I'm glad the documentary finished when it did; I don't think any of us could have faced seeing that photo of him lying dead again, or the suicide note eulogy, especially not at that point.
There's no moral to the story, just a really sad, sad memory left behind, as well as the travesty of the Foo Fighters' continued success. And now I'm 34, not 14. I'm a grown up. I work the 9-5, and it's not so bad, it's better than being dead, you know? It might not seem like it when you're a rock star, but it's actually alright.
And Kurt Cobain never got to get trolled on Twitter, or get to be on E News or get doodled on by Perez Hilton. And for that he'd probably be glad. But if only he could have seen another way out. Courtney always said if only he'd gone away to an island, just jacked it all in. But he wanted the fame, and he didn't want it. And if even Frances wasn't reason enough to stay, then there was ever going to be a happy ending. He could have got clean, but he still would have been famous, and mainstream. I just don't think it was what he signed up for - or thought he was signing up for.
For so long afterwards, I waited for Courtney to die, but she never did. She could survive a nuclear war, that one, and that's why I love her. I hope her and Frances are OK and will be OK. I wish Courtney could find someone who loves her, like he did. Yet anyone would be lucky to find a love like that, even once in a lifetime.
And as for those teenagers in Nirvana t-shirts now? You weren't there, man. But we were. And it hurt.
Now here's a confession; I don't like Kurt Cobain very much. I loved him so much when I was a teenager that when he killed himself, I took it as a personal insult. I felt so deeply betrayed by him, I barely ever listened to Nirvana again. I saw him as weak and Courtney as strong, and I just thought him leaving Frances was unforgivable. I also feel like he was a bit of a pissy cunt; at one point in this documentary he goes he doesn't care about the fame, just the songs, but that wasn't true for him, just like it isn't for Morrissey. Kurt wanted the fame, but couldn't live with it when he got it. I always thought he was kind of a dick with how embarrassed he was about being seen as 'mainstream'. But hey, you get what you want and you never want it again, right?
Twenty years later and I forgive him for the suicide; I realise it was a lot more complex than it was inside my teenage brain. He was a seriously ill man, mentally and physically. But Nirvana have stayed in that kind of time capsule for me, whereas I've carried Courtney with me ever since. So it's a weird clash of nostalgia to be taken back to that time.
I think some of the childhood stuff could have been cut; I feel like I've done Kurt's childhood to death; Heavier than Heaven was a bit like Morrissey and Marr; a thesis in Kurt Cobain that we had to read back when we were greebos. I had Kurt Cobain: The Diaries and I like seeing all his doodles and lists and things (like Courtney's) but I wonder if HE would like it? And the documentary being named after his old mixtape? He was so concerned about image that I wonder if he would cringe a bit at seeing them animating his childhood doodles? I don't know, it doesn't quite sit right with me, but then some of his little bon mots were genius. He was a really intelligent man, but he just thought too much. Like when he did a doodle of Courtney and said 'You talk to much.' She does, so he mustn't have had much time to think when she was around. Probably that was part of her appeal.
I also didn't like the animated parts of the documentary that much; especially in contrast to Kurt's own drawings, which were considerably better. I just thought it was a bit pointless or a bit out of place, but my friend didn't mind it.The music was very powerful in the documentary, except for a kind of pan pipes version of one Nirvana song at the beginning, plus I don't like that kids' choir singing 'Teen spirit', it's creepy. But on the whole, the music was just so loud and powerful it just felt like you were being blasted with a hairdryer of pure pain. It was pretty effective.
I was surprised to see Kurt's dad and stepmum in the film; I don't remember seeing much about them before, although I must have read plenty about them and just forgotten it. His dad looked like a square and his stepmum looked like a leathery lizard. His mum is beautiful, and sad. Yeah he got passed around when he was younger, but his childhood was no worse than most people's I know. I think his problems ran deeper; I think his problems were in his psyche and drugs gave him a break, from when he was little onwards.
It was a shame they wheeled out his first girlfriend again; this woman gets more airtime on Kurt and Courtney documentaries than Dave Grohl (more of which later). Would you want your first boyfriend/girlfriend sharing their memories of you again and again? It's just cringey and lowest common denominator..
Krist Novoselic cut a sad sort of figure, in his pristine, Scandinavian-esque house. I think it was when they cut to Nirvana's music blaring out screaming and then cut back to him as my friend Sarah said, kind of 'covering up' for Kurt, it just felt a bit tragic. I liked him in the old clips as the only one with a sense of humour (for the most part, although Kurt was having some moustache-related bantz in the bathroom with Courtney later). Let's be honest Dave 'Kurt hated him' Grohl doesn't have much of anything to offer, and was mainly notable by his absence in this documentary, which I was pleased about. Krist was the real deal, and he must be haunted by memories too, as well as befuddled by the popularity of the Foo Fighters, like the rest of us. There's only so long that Nirvana goodwill should have lasted, and it should have run out in about 1995. God knows what happened there.
All the old Nirvana footage, magazine covers etc made me feel so nostalgic for that time, my brothers, growing up, it was just a completely different time. Every image, clip, song in this documentary took me back to my bedroom, me taping every Nirvana video or performance on the VCR. The most powerful clip was probably the 'Unplugged' footage played to death by MTV and ruined for years, but here you could see it in isolation and just how amazing it was, and tragic. The Smells like Teen Spirit video, seen for the first time, is brilliant. The nuts and bolts of it are beautiful. Criminal what they did to his legacy, really. MTV definitely made me hate several of the songs just because I was so tired of hearing them.
It felt like a very long time until Courtney showed up, but of course, these were some of the most powerful parts of the documentary. I thought we were going to get a Kurt and Courtney sex tape at one point! Courtney is right, he was more beautiful than Brad Pitt and it was obvious how much she adored him. The video footage of their relationship was so personal, and so revealing; the strength of their love, and their addiction. The clip towards the end where she's trying to get him to hold Frances and he's all scabby and nearly passing out was just horrendous. Could nobody see it? Courtney seemed far more 'with it' than him; he was deathly ill at that point, already. I'm certain he would have died one way or the other, it was just a matter of time. Terrifying to think of Frances being brought up by them at that time; but she looked like such a pudgy, healthy baby. I honestly don't know how Courtney and Frances watched this documentary together, it's just so raw.
The last clip of them in the bathroom with Frances and Courtney in the bath felt so personal. When Courtney says something like, 'I feel kind of happy right now' and he said, 'I do, too' it was just too much. He was dead four months later.
Whatever you think of Courtney, and I've heard everything people think, most of the time very much uninvited, he loved her from the bottom of his heart. Getting the crowd at Reading to say they loved her was just beautiful, and I know there are many more examples of this (The Word, etc). Even his death threats to journalists were quite romantic. I think it's sad the way she's never found anyone who can live up to him, who worships her the way he did. Do I believe she never cheated on him? No. But it's irrelevant. Their love was undeniable. I wish we could see more of the footage of the Courtney interview, but then I always want more Courtney. I just find her so fascinating. She is such a strong, flawed character.
The Heart Shaped Box era always gives me a sense of dread, because it was, of course, right near the end. Was 'I hate myself and I want to die' literal? I think we got the answer to that one.
I'm glad the documentary finished when it did; I don't think any of us could have faced seeing that photo of him lying dead again, or the suicide note eulogy, especially not at that point.
There's no moral to the story, just a really sad, sad memory left behind, as well as the travesty of the Foo Fighters' continued success. And now I'm 34, not 14. I'm a grown up. I work the 9-5, and it's not so bad, it's better than being dead, you know? It might not seem like it when you're a rock star, but it's actually alright.
And Kurt Cobain never got to get trolled on Twitter, or get to be on E News or get doodled on by Perez Hilton. And for that he'd probably be glad. But if only he could have seen another way out. Courtney always said if only he'd gone away to an island, just jacked it all in. But he wanted the fame, and he didn't want it. And if even Frances wasn't reason enough to stay, then there was ever going to be a happy ending. He could have got clean, but he still would have been famous, and mainstream. I just don't think it was what he signed up for - or thought he was signing up for.
For so long afterwards, I waited for Courtney to die, but she never did. She could survive a nuclear war, that one, and that's why I love her. I hope her and Frances are OK and will be OK. I wish Courtney could find someone who loves her, like he did. Yet anyone would be lucky to find a love like that, even once in a lifetime.
And as for those teenagers in Nirvana t-shirts now? You weren't there, man. But we were. And it hurt.
Wednesday, 25 March 2015
Documentary: Stacey Dooley - Beaten by my boyfriend
It would be easy to mock Stacey Dooley, I guess, if you're a snob. I still don't know quite where she emerged from, and I looked it up once. She's a young woman with a thick accent (she sounds Cockney but I remember from an old episode about extremists that she's from Luton, which is near my home town of doom). But I like her documentaries and the way she interviews people. She seems genuinely interested in finding out about the underbelly of life, be it drugs, extremism, or tonight's topic. There's just something about her I like. My mum always says we're all from one of six tribes (some Bible crap, I think) and I feel like Stacey Dooley is from my tribe. It's partly the Midlands thing, partly the way she looks, I just feel an affinity with her. Her documentaries are very watchable. Who could forget the drug that gives you crocodile skin? I don't think I've ever seen a man look more high, or closer to death. It was fascinating. And Stacey Dooley didn't give him Louis Theroux side eye or Nick Broomfield impassiveness. She treated him like a fellow human.
Every 30 seconds police receive a 999 call about domestic violence. Domestic violence is a subject I had face to face experience with as a child and I care more about pretty passionately. We had our fair share of 999 calls ourselves and it wasn't much fun. It wasn't much fun watching my mum get her skull cracked open, I must say. In fact, it fucked me up royally.
This documentary focuses on young women in violent relationships. I can't imagine ever being in a controlling or violent relationship, but that's as a direct result of my own experience; I just wouldn't put up with that for a minute. Still, I understand very well how women get sucked into these relationships and how controlling boyfriends/ husbands operate. I've seen it happen to my friends, despite me begging them to leave. It's not until you're in that relationship or that environment that you understand the hold those relationships have on you. These men grind you down until you don't know what your own personality is anymore.
This poor woman is having her door fixed because her thug boyfriend has kicked it in while pregnant. Every door in my house as a child had a hole in it from a fist from the men I grew up with. Violence is one thing, but living under the threat of violence is another, and is just as bad (well, almost).
'During holidays and major sporting events 999 calls increase.' Just think about that. Women get battered because their idiot husband's team loses. That's a reality. Doesn't that terrify you? It scares the shit out of me. Imagine scaring the hell out of the person you love, harming the person you love. The scary part is when children witness this horror, or have to live with it on an ongoing basis. It's just incredibly cruel. But women are too scared to go, or don't have a place to go that's safe.
One in four women suffer from domestic violence and two women die a week. Two women die a week and it really feels like no one gives a fuck.
Stacey is visiting a refuge. One of the scariest scenes in The Fall was when that abusive husband found his wife in the refuge. That's my worst fucking nightmare, all those vulnerable women and an animal like that finds them (and yes, I know it's not real). I support Refuge because probably the scariest thing I can imagine is a woman leaving her violent partner and being turned away because there's nowhere for her to go. That's when men kill women. That's the riskiest time to be a woman.
I wish women knew better the warning signs of these psycho men; and these charming romantic types are the worst, these fuckers who buy clothes for you. I wouldn't put up with anyone jealous as that's a sign. There are so many tiny signs, but like Stacey says, they seem flattering at first. But it's not flattering if you look at it from the perspective of that man would treat ANY woman that way, so how are you special? Any woman would be treated like his own personal property.
It's so wrong that women lose their children because of abusive men, and because they can't figure out a way out. They are being punished twice, and for what? Stacey said, 'people might seem you're picking your abusive relationship over your baby.' But it's not like a domestic violence victim is making a sane and sensible choice. They aren't seeing things straight because they have had their heads screwed up by these controlling bastards.
These injunctions are good that stop men from even coming near their victims or they get five years in prison. Stacey is following the guy giving out the injunctions to these fucking arseholes now. I couldn't look at them myself.
I was disappointed that we had to have the obligatory 'women are violent too' mention, which is such a minuscule issue it's not even worth mentioning, except to make men feel better about all the women they murder. I hate that they fudge the issue like that! The show is called 'Beaten by my boyfriend.' And even now MEN on Twitter are telling me how women are violent, too. Well, they weren't in my house. It was just the men. The men with the tempers and the men with the baseball bats and the men with the brute fucking force. It just said nine out of ten attacks are by men and still men whine 'what about women who beat men up?' It's my female friends who have abusive dads, not abusive mums. I just wish these men would shut the fuck up. I'd be ashamed if I was a man. I wouldn't be arguing with women about the statistics. I'd be trying to work out why the fuck men were doing it. Why should I cry for that one man getting beaten up for every nine women? Fuck him. I don't care about him, I really don't, and if that sounds harsh, then tough. I guess my experiences made me that way. Honestly, it makes me fucking furious. Are there refuges full of hundreds of terrified men, all across the country? No, there aren't! So shut up. Stick your statistics, because I don't care. I care about women getting battered in front of their children and killed for daring to leave their boyfriend.
Why DO men do this to women? Why do they think they have the right to treat women like this? I just don't get it. Women just have to stop dying. Men have to stop killing us. Claire's law is really important but it's not enough. It's terrible that funding for refuges are being cut. It's a death sentence to women. But like the Tories fucking give a shit. What's a few dead women to them? I liked Stacey sticking it to Teresa May. I liked her question of 'what would you like to say to these girls?' a if an MP cares.
I'm glad Stacey went to a place where abusers get rehabilitated because I do believe - in fact, I know - that men can be rehabilitated but a massive part of that is actually waking up and realising what the fuck you've done. I've seen it happen. And I've seen it not happen. And these boneheaded straw man arguments of 'well women do it, too' doesn't help either side. It's just another way to put women in their place along with bashing in their front doors - and their skulls.
Every 30 seconds police receive a 999 call about domestic violence. Domestic violence is a subject I had face to face experience with as a child and I care more about pretty passionately. We had our fair share of 999 calls ourselves and it wasn't much fun. It wasn't much fun watching my mum get her skull cracked open, I must say. In fact, it fucked me up royally.
This documentary focuses on young women in violent relationships. I can't imagine ever being in a controlling or violent relationship, but that's as a direct result of my own experience; I just wouldn't put up with that for a minute. Still, I understand very well how women get sucked into these relationships and how controlling boyfriends/ husbands operate. I've seen it happen to my friends, despite me begging them to leave. It's not until you're in that relationship or that environment that you understand the hold those relationships have on you. These men grind you down until you don't know what your own personality is anymore.
This poor woman is having her door fixed because her thug boyfriend has kicked it in while pregnant. Every door in my house as a child had a hole in it from a fist from the men I grew up with. Violence is one thing, but living under the threat of violence is another, and is just as bad (well, almost).
'During holidays and major sporting events 999 calls increase.' Just think about that. Women get battered because their idiot husband's team loses. That's a reality. Doesn't that terrify you? It scares the shit out of me. Imagine scaring the hell out of the person you love, harming the person you love. The scary part is when children witness this horror, or have to live with it on an ongoing basis. It's just incredibly cruel. But women are too scared to go, or don't have a place to go that's safe.
One in four women suffer from domestic violence and two women die a week. Two women die a week and it really feels like no one gives a fuck.
Stacey is visiting a refuge. One of the scariest scenes in The Fall was when that abusive husband found his wife in the refuge. That's my worst fucking nightmare, all those vulnerable women and an animal like that finds them (and yes, I know it's not real). I support Refuge because probably the scariest thing I can imagine is a woman leaving her violent partner and being turned away because there's nowhere for her to go. That's when men kill women. That's the riskiest time to be a woman.
I wish women knew better the warning signs of these psycho men; and these charming romantic types are the worst, these fuckers who buy clothes for you. I wouldn't put up with anyone jealous as that's a sign. There are so many tiny signs, but like Stacey says, they seem flattering at first. But it's not flattering if you look at it from the perspective of that man would treat ANY woman that way, so how are you special? Any woman would be treated like his own personal property.
It's so wrong that women lose their children because of abusive men, and because they can't figure out a way out. They are being punished twice, and for what? Stacey said, 'people might seem you're picking your abusive relationship over your baby.' But it's not like a domestic violence victim is making a sane and sensible choice. They aren't seeing things straight because they have had their heads screwed up by these controlling bastards.
These injunctions are good that stop men from even coming near their victims or they get five years in prison. Stacey is following the guy giving out the injunctions to these fucking arseholes now. I couldn't look at them myself.
I was disappointed that we had to have the obligatory 'women are violent too' mention, which is such a minuscule issue it's not even worth mentioning, except to make men feel better about all the women they murder. I hate that they fudge the issue like that! The show is called 'Beaten by my boyfriend.' And even now MEN on Twitter are telling me how women are violent, too. Well, they weren't in my house. It was just the men. The men with the tempers and the men with the baseball bats and the men with the brute fucking force. It just said nine out of ten attacks are by men and still men whine 'what about women who beat men up?' It's my female friends who have abusive dads, not abusive mums. I just wish these men would shut the fuck up. I'd be ashamed if I was a man. I wouldn't be arguing with women about the statistics. I'd be trying to work out why the fuck men were doing it. Why should I cry for that one man getting beaten up for every nine women? Fuck him. I don't care about him, I really don't, and if that sounds harsh, then tough. I guess my experiences made me that way. Honestly, it makes me fucking furious. Are there refuges full of hundreds of terrified men, all across the country? No, there aren't! So shut up. Stick your statistics, because I don't care. I care about women getting battered in front of their children and killed for daring to leave their boyfriend.
Why DO men do this to women? Why do they think they have the right to treat women like this? I just don't get it. Women just have to stop dying. Men have to stop killing us. Claire's law is really important but it's not enough. It's terrible that funding for refuges are being cut. It's a death sentence to women. But like the Tories fucking give a shit. What's a few dead women to them? I liked Stacey sticking it to Teresa May. I liked her question of 'what would you like to say to these girls?' a if an MP cares.
I'm glad Stacey went to a place where abusers get rehabilitated because I do believe - in fact, I know - that men can be rehabilitated but a massive part of that is actually waking up and realising what the fuck you've done. I've seen it happen. And I've seen it not happen. And these boneheaded straw man arguments of 'well women do it, too' doesn't help either side. It's just another way to put women in their place along with bashing in their front doors - and their skulls.
Friday, 6 February 2015
Celebrity Big Brother 2015 Live Final: Jor-done it
So here we are, D day. Or should that be E day? Or F day? No don't mention the F word. And still I'm wondering; how the hell did Perez get the boot on Weds? I know he had a lot of haters, but Calum STD Best got more votes than him? How so? And don't give me that teenage girl vote bullshit. No self respecting teenage girl would fancy a man with a toupee and a face like a jacket potato. Not to mention those mainstream trainers.
So tell me, who is there to vote for now, who is there to root for? I am not voting for ANYONE. It's a choice between fencesitters and cunts, and I can't bring myself to take either side (although, natually, I'm more of a cunt.) It's obvious Katie Hopkins will win, as the idiotgeneralpublic (t.m.) think she's changed, or because she pretends to cry, she's human or some bullshit. All I can hope for is a Cheggers/Jordan final two. And how boring would that be?
I PRAY Michelle Visage gets chucked out first and gets the Janice Battersby two-by-two exit. I was so upset that she beat Perez, but she was obviously thrilled to see two gay men go in one night, so she could get to the final and speak for them. When Perez called her out on her LGBT bullshit it was a joy and it really upset her, which proved he had a point.
The way Perez was treated in the house was terrible (James Jordan and Jim Davidson were the final insult), and his revelations about production said it all (the Ted files). Anyway, him being evicted on Weds ruined tonight and what would have been a good battle of evil against (fake) evil at the end. Now we have people who've barely spoken against one person who's just a nasty piece of work.
I liked Cheggers '10ps down the phone box' comment. I also liked Katie Hopkins 'kicked out of a care home' comment.
Why no ex-housemates walking out on the stage? Boo. Oh probably because of the boos.
Jordan has to go see Dr Ottoman for a boob feel. Katie telling her to leave! Hilarious. No hidden agenda there. Not at all! No one resents Jordan for coming in late, just for not kicking Katie Hopkins arse. OMG Katie Hopkins, Visage and Calum having a go at her. Transparent or what. Bad gameplay at the end. Do they think we're dumb?
No final dinner can ever compare to Spencer and Heidi's 'my England, my kryptonite.' Legacy.
No two by two? 'Get Hopkins out'. Woo!
Michelle is out! Beaten by Queen Jordan! That will teach you. Should have picked your friends better. PS: The LGBT community want their acronym back.
Emma saying to Michelle that she's 'very likeable.' She's about as likeable as Emma. Props for the Leo Sayer reference, though.
Hold on, what the fuck is Emma wearing! How did I just notice that?
Is Perez crying at Michelle slagging him off? Oh, the drama. Going on about 'the gays' again. They're not puppies. It's dehumanising. Also, why is Hopkins not allowed to talk to Perez? Is Michelle the mafia? Get out. The UK doesn't like you back.
Cheggers out next. He also looks disappointed. What's the opposite of wahey? He's giving it the two thumbs up for his photo, you've got to respect that. Then crying like a baby. Thought he was always happy! Lies.
Cheggers loves his wife, I dunno if you've heard. I like the bits where they showed him shouting at people. Those were his best moments. He's right about the acting in the house, too.
Kavana is flipping the bird at Cheggers, what the fuck? The indignity! I like the fact Cheggers refered to him as a 'fellow alcoholic.' Cheggers has washed his hands of Perez. Well, he does enjoy cleaning. Cheggers is getting the wub wubs on his best bits. Standard. Keith is allowed to tell other people to fuck off in his highlights, I see. Hypocrisy!
Calum out next. Hurrah! Pack up your hair piece, your mainstream trainers and get back to your PAs. He'll no doubt be shagging some random in a toilet before the night is out. Nothing interesting to say except bashing Perez. Yawn. I'm glad 'shove it up your arse' made his best bits.
The final two is a total hair or scare. The battle of the bouffants. LOL Jordan went in, did fuck all and won it. Sweet. I cracked and voted for her and Cheggers, too. Tee hee. Hopkins can go back to being a panto villian. Booooo!
Hopkins interview all about Perez, too. 'I don't like people picking on people...' Unless it's me, should have been the end of that sentence. I'm glad she admitted she liked having a sparring partner. Going on about Switzerland again. I'd rather be Switzerland than Cuntworld.
Emma thinks Katie has been phenomenal. Alright then. And that dress you're wearing is flattering.
Jordan is a gibbering wreck. Little does she know she just benefitted from the anti-Hopkins vote.
The Jeggers alliance was triumphant. Hold on, why has Nadia got headphones in?
All Jeggers did was talk about horses, ha. Jordan hopes Michelle hasn't been bitchy about her. Er... oh well. Alex Reid won't be happy. And Pete the Parent will be livid!
One things for sure, there's only one thing we'll remember about this series and he rode the fun train out of there on Wednesday.
Thanks for reading. PS: The bilecast will be out on Sunday. Stay tuned!
So tell me, who is there to vote for now, who is there to root for? I am not voting for ANYONE. It's a choice between fencesitters and cunts, and I can't bring myself to take either side (although, natually, I'm more of a cunt.) It's obvious Katie Hopkins will win, as the idiotgeneralpublic (t.m.) think she's changed, or because she pretends to cry, she's human or some bullshit. All I can hope for is a Cheggers/Jordan final two. And how boring would that be?
I PRAY Michelle Visage gets chucked out first and gets the Janice Battersby two-by-two exit. I was so upset that she beat Perez, but she was obviously thrilled to see two gay men go in one night, so she could get to the final and speak for them. When Perez called her out on her LGBT bullshit it was a joy and it really upset her, which proved he had a point.
The way Perez was treated in the house was terrible (James Jordan and Jim Davidson were the final insult), and his revelations about production said it all (the Ted files). Anyway, him being evicted on Weds ruined tonight and what would have been a good battle of evil against (fake) evil at the end. Now we have people who've barely spoken against one person who's just a nasty piece of work.
I liked Cheggers '10ps down the phone box' comment. I also liked Katie Hopkins 'kicked out of a care home' comment.
Why no ex-housemates walking out on the stage? Boo. Oh probably because of the boos.
Jordan has to go see Dr Ottoman for a boob feel. Katie telling her to leave! Hilarious. No hidden agenda there. Not at all! No one resents Jordan for coming in late, just for not kicking Katie Hopkins arse. OMG Katie Hopkins, Visage and Calum having a go at her. Transparent or what. Bad gameplay at the end. Do they think we're dumb?
No final dinner can ever compare to Spencer and Heidi's 'my England, my kryptonite.' Legacy.
No two by two? 'Get Hopkins out'. Woo!
Michelle is out! Beaten by Queen Jordan! That will teach you. Should have picked your friends better. PS: The LGBT community want their acronym back.
Emma saying to Michelle that she's 'very likeable.' She's about as likeable as Emma. Props for the Leo Sayer reference, though.
Hold on, what the fuck is Emma wearing! How did I just notice that?
Is Perez crying at Michelle slagging him off? Oh, the drama. Going on about 'the gays' again. They're not puppies. It's dehumanising. Also, why is Hopkins not allowed to talk to Perez? Is Michelle the mafia? Get out. The UK doesn't like you back.
Cheggers out next. He also looks disappointed. What's the opposite of wahey? He's giving it the two thumbs up for his photo, you've got to respect that. Then crying like a baby. Thought he was always happy! Lies.
Cheggers loves his wife, I dunno if you've heard. I like the bits where they showed him shouting at people. Those were his best moments. He's right about the acting in the house, too.
Kavana is flipping the bird at Cheggers, what the fuck? The indignity! I like the fact Cheggers refered to him as a 'fellow alcoholic.' Cheggers has washed his hands of Perez. Well, he does enjoy cleaning. Cheggers is getting the wub wubs on his best bits. Standard. Keith is allowed to tell other people to fuck off in his highlights, I see. Hypocrisy!
Calum out next. Hurrah! Pack up your hair piece, your mainstream trainers and get back to your PAs. He'll no doubt be shagging some random in a toilet before the night is out. Nothing interesting to say except bashing Perez. Yawn. I'm glad 'shove it up your arse' made his best bits.
The final two is a total hair or scare. The battle of the bouffants. LOL Jordan went in, did fuck all and won it. Sweet. I cracked and voted for her and Cheggers, too. Tee hee. Hopkins can go back to being a panto villian. Booooo!
Hopkins interview all about Perez, too. 'I don't like people picking on people...' Unless it's me, should have been the end of that sentence. I'm glad she admitted she liked having a sparring partner. Going on about Switzerland again. I'd rather be Switzerland than Cuntworld.
Emma thinks Katie has been phenomenal. Alright then. And that dress you're wearing is flattering.
Jordan is a gibbering wreck. Little does she know she just benefitted from the anti-Hopkins vote.
The Jeggers alliance was triumphant. Hold on, why has Nadia got headphones in?
All Jeggers did was talk about horses, ha. Jordan hopes Michelle hasn't been bitchy about her. Er... oh well. Alex Reid won't be happy. And Pete the Parent will be livid!
One things for sure, there's only one thing we'll remember about this series and he rode the fun train out of there on Wednesday.
Thanks for reading. PS: The bilecast will be out on Sunday. Stay tuned!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)