Big Brother UK 2016: Juicy boobs redux

Big Brother wakes the housemates up with some nomination terror. Lateysha has got her 'proportions' and 'consequences' mixed up. True gamer.
So only other others can be nominated, yay. I don't see why Chelsea is worried; him, Alex and Jackson won't be up, it will be all noobs, probably all women, but maybe Hughie, too.
Andy: 'I was going to ask in a very innocent way how it was sharing a bed with Georgina.' Nothing this dude does is innocent.
Where is Charlie lapdancing, at the local charity for the blind? SHE MINGS.
Alex admitting he told Charlie that Jason would be into the idea of getting back together, haha. Jason looks like a deer in the headlights.
Georgina's pierced nipples: eek or chic? I don't like Georgina all happy, I want her all miso again. It suits her better. Jackson: 'I'm getting a hard on.' TMI.
Jason and Charlie are having a 'spouting cliches' competition: 'run before I can walk', 'name of the game' 'damned if I do, damned if I don't.' STOP THAT. Simple people! No wonder they can't work out what they want in life, they can't even come up with an original sentence between them. 
Natalie is such a DR warrior. She doesn't like Lateysha for confronting Hughie for calling her a slag cos of the sheep tattoo. Did you really expect Lateysha to keep her mouth shut? Look at the size of it. Not gonna happen.
So others can't nominate either? They should be able to nominate each other, at least.
Natalie: 'It was dark black in the other house.' Andy: 'You probably think I'm only talking to you because of nominations.' Talk about over analysing everything! Chill out, Andy! You look like shit from all the moralising.
NOM TIME. Jason nominated Natalie 'for causing tension' and Hughie for calling Lateysha 'thick.' Too pussy to nominate Charlie.
Sam nommed Hughie- the cold vibe was probably because he's getting off with your ex boyfriend.
Emma doesn't like Natalie's energy. I don't like Emma's mismatched nipples. She also doesn't like Hughie. They just don't get Hughie yet, like I didn't for a few days. You will grow to love him.
Georgina nominated Natalie and Hughie. 'I've heard he goes zero to a hundred.' You heard right. 'He's a viper.' He's more of a terrier.
Charlie has reduxed Kelsey's cage dress from BBCAN into a swimsuit. Charlie's boobs are grotesque. Everyone looks miserable in the pool clad in binbags. Jason is trying to influene the noms 'she's enjoying herself and pushing me out.' Chelsea: 'I saw that. Abso-bloody-lutely.'
Georgina digging Jackson out for smoking and fancying Evelyn. She is quite demanding, isn't she?
Andy is nomming Charlie because Jason is his mate and he wants him back, no doubt. Everyone is nomming Natalie! Poor Natalie.
Evelyn nommed Jayne! Yes. I really want Jayne to go, not Natalie. Evelyn always does a shrewd vote, I've noticed. She doesn't like Jayne being a 'honeypotter.' Who's that, Harry Potter's wife?
Laura nominated Charlie and Hughie 'for arguing with everyone.' Lateysha nominated Hughie and Natalie.
Jayne dishing the dirt on John Terry. John Terry is disgusting. I think Jayne might be worse. Didn't know he was engaged, whatevs. Her honeypotting game is strong. But if I employ her to spy on my boyfriend, doesn't that mean she's just going to shag him? Then I have to pay her? Then she sells the story? Hold on, where do I sign up to BE Jayne? Oh hold on... John Terry, Sven, Chelsea... I take that back. I know she's like 65, but gross.
Georgina just busted out 'Not being funny, but...' She has a face built for 'not being funny.'
So who's up? Natalie, Hughie and Charlie. Charlie should go up for the knee high gladiator sandals alone.
Natalie will be the 'happiest bitch on the planet' to go. I don't really know who I want to go. I wanted Jayne to go. As long as Hughie doesn't go, I don't care, and there's no danger of that. He's a man.
Sausage fingers is comforting Sarah Harding's mum. He must be PRAYING she goes. PRAYING.
Charlie thinks Jason might just want to wait until they're outside to get it on! Haha. Deluded.
What the fuck is Emma wearing? Her underwear and then some black fishnet god knows what. Is Natalie auditioning her for a job in the brothel? Not sure what energy we're getting from that mess. Even dressed 'sexy' she's not sexy. She looks like a horse caught in a fishing net.
Jayne's paisley (jumpsuit?) ensemble looks like someone's vommed on her. It's all about the clothes tonight because Marco went. He would have had to go anyway, to go to court today, but that's not the point. BB would have covered that up somehow, maybe put a bag over his head outside court. But you'd still hear 'EHEHEHEH' from underneath it after daddy paid the fine.
Charlie's lapdance. She is sexual herpes. Is Jason enjoying it or not? Looked like there was a stirring in his loins towards the end. GROSS. Emma's singing was probably the most disturbing part. Very reminiscent of Bianca's lapdance with Winston when Zoe 'I don't mix with people in Asda' sang another creepy as fuck song.
Natalie is determined to find out who nominated her. Jason doesn't 'want a dildo shoved up his arse'. Weeeeelll. He can't afford it, apparently.
Georgina doesn't understand what Jackson sees in her. Well, it's slim pickings, isn't it? She is appalled by him sleeping with 300 women. Don't worry, I'm sure he made that figure up.
Georgina will have to get Jackson to behave 'during cupcakes and tea.' Don't worry, he'll probably be off banging all these imaginary women. How awful to start going out with someone and then start trying to change them in the first WEEK? Just go out with some posho. You're not even posh anyway.
OMG Georgina is jealous over Jackson's pictures. STEVEN GOODE. He's getting the pictures out! When he said, 'That's my son' that was a genuine twist. I was shocked. Why is he keeping it secret? The poor kid! You wouldn't want Georgina as your stepmother, would you, fam? Also, how is this going to go down during cupcakes and tea?  I wanted to see more of Georgina's reaction to that. SOME HOPE.
Jason 'works on the majority, eight out of ten cats.' SHEEP VOTE. Andy is more of a one man island. I am finding this DULL DULL DULL. Bring on BB18 (Big Brother USA) which starts tomorrow.