Friday, 11 November 2011

Big Brother 2011 - The Final: Get the pirate cheese ready!

So here we are. Soon my blog will be discussing more intellectual matters. Gone will be all the shit, piss and swearing and in it's place I'll be chatting shit about The Andrew Marr show, Songs of Praise and Newsnight. Oh, alright then. I'll be moaning about sexism and talking about other shitty TV.
I like seeing the ex housemates. Fucking hell, Heaven looks like crap. Where's Rebeckah? Are you fucking crackers etc. Is Harry really 23? He looks like Tim Henman's dad again tonight. I'm sure someone else is missing. Oh yeah, Mark. And Pammie. Oh and Jem! What a shame. I wonder why Jem couldn't show her face- don't want to see Aaron walk out with that 50K, that's why.
Louise was definitely thinking she was going last night, you don't wear a dress like that for no reason.
Has Alex got Michael Jackson's 'skin disease', her tan is looking seriously patchy.
Imagine if I won and went out to boos, says Aaron. Just imagine!
I feel like BOTS has took the shine off some of these highlight clips. I love the split cam! Why have they never done that before? Louise has got the same dress on again, dirty bitch. She must have been sweating yesterday. That dress is a bit ott.
Louise looks nervous! Why is she walking so slowly down those stairs? Get on with it, get the fuck out of my sight.
Louise alluding to being normal: check. She looks so nervous! I'm glad Brian mentioned when she said they had no chemistry, well sort of mentioned it. Louise: 'I love Anton!': finger on the public pulse as usual, me. Great taste she's got. Change your taste in men!
'Jay's so normal': he's not normal! He's a freak. OMG 'he wiped his arse today and showed me his shit on the bog roll.' Romeo, romeo, where for art thou Romeo! That actually shocked me. I think her brain is malfunctioning.
Here's Louise's personality in two words. Normal. Shit. The end.
Honestly, if Jay wins I'm leaving the universe.
Third place. This will be the clincher. No boos for Jay. How pathetic. OMG it's Alex! That split screen was really good when Alex went. Aaron's face was brill. NOW we have a battle on our hands. This is a fight to the death.
Alex is like Jedward coming out third! I'm not that shocked because who would really ring and vote for Alex? The Jay and Aaron fight is real! They both look quite smug now.
I can't understand what Alex is saying. How did Jay ever get to be 2nd? It's like that douche from the Jungle Cats all over again. Don't let the wolfpack win!
Tonight we got to get on the floor! Alex is getting jibbed on her highlights. Loving her fake tan hands. She's a fashion kamikaze. Still, keep away from Jenny Frost (again). Avoid it! Has Alex
got her £500K shoes on? She's probably got her Primarni ones on instead. Her interview was short!
Love Aaron and Jay holding hands. Too cute. Look at Jay's misguided trousers. Where does he get his clothes from, Mr Byrite? Why did Aaron say 'get the pirate cheese' ready when Jay walked out the door? We rewound it three times and I'll still none the wiser. I couldn't stop laughing! Prepare the Lego room!
Did you hear him whimper as Jay walked out the door. Too funny.
Jay seems on the hoof in this interview. He seemed reticent about saying he loved Louise, too. I don't think he can cope with this pressure. He's just a normal lad, blah blah blah. Does Jay live with his mum?
Oh Jay. You went in a hottie, and came out a nottie. Disco down. Now let's watch Brian eat it. I'd LOVE to know what the percentages were. I bet Aaron stormed it. I bet Jem is at home stirring her witches pot and moaning.
Aaron's having a cuppa in the background. I love seeing the winner in the background through the runner-up interview, it's lovely.
Boooooooooooooooo! Aaron is getting booed to fuck. Brian didn't pick Jay up on any of his bullshit. They are drowning out the boos with 12 zillion fireworks. I like the fact they just gave him the briefcase of cash. They'll probably make him take it on the tube later.
Brian's faux friendliness is galling. Aaron looks quite hot, I think. I wish he'd give it up with all that crikey/crumbs crap.
Aaron deserved to win after putting up with the mountain of crap he had to deal with in that house, even that of his own making.
Brian's digging Aaron out about Faye! He didn't dig Jay out about being an unhygienic animal.
Aaron has been quite quiet in the interview. It was quite a short interview, I felt.
I don't have a feelgood feeling in my stomach after this BB. There was a lot of bad feeling in that final show and Aaron's interview was really short. I usually feel all wrung out and emotional at the end, but I just feel nothing! Nothing.
Boooooooooo! I'm surprised someone don't shoot him at the end. Brian: 'it's just panto'. Many LOLs. Seriously, start watching this show again, folks. I feel like I'm shouting at the wall here.

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