Sunday, 27 September 2009

The X Factor: Boot camp 2

So like everyone else I haven't really been enjoying the X Factor this year, but after them sucking the life out of the audition process, I actually enjoyed last night's boot camp, mainly because there were at least three good singers; Ethan (hot), the bloke who was a contestant on Deal or no Deal and that little mousy girl. So let's watch tonight as they don't get through. Oh my god, I didn't like those twins and their stupid dancing, cocky little cuntrags. I ALSO didn't like that girl doing that dire 'I'm telling you' song. When does shrieking count as singing? If I ever hear that song again, I'm gonna do a Michael Douglas. You have been warned.
I must say Dannii is looking quite sharp this year, I'm liking her hair. Cheryl's hair, on the other hand, ages her massively, and her crumpled forehead oh-its-another-person-I-beat-on-pop-rivals-once expression is getting rather boring. Can't we have a female judge with an opinion, instead of one who likes handbags? Get that bullying Sugababe on instead, at least she'll tell it to people straight.
Oh god, first contestant up tonight was a sub-par Chico (unbelievable that could be, I know.) I like the black girl with the afro.
Kandy Rain sounds like a porn star. And collectively, look a bit like one.
I felt sorry for the one in the pork pie hat who lost his voice, I kind of liked him. It's not his fault that he's ill. I reckon they might put him through, anyway.
Olly is the Deal or No Deal one (he's obviously a fame whore!) Yep, I still back him. He's a cheeky chappie.
I like the big afro dude, I don't think he's trying to hard. Simon can talk about being 'corny'; if any English person except him would ever use such a word.
I thought the chavvy girl was out of tune. But Simon fancies her, so she'll make it.
Oh dear; the bisexual guy did a jazzy Simply Red number. Big mistake!
Yes sob story, your brother is pulling strings, by getting you this far. Hopefully that's it though. Ah, it was.
Yay Deal or No Deal and big afro guy got through, and that weird blonde guy (Daniel). I'm glad that black girl with the short stripy blonde bit in her hair got through, she was really good. Fuck those little twins though. EVIL!
'For you it's the end... of the bad news.' Cruel! The misspelt Danyl AND Ethan got through! Yay. You can tell they cut it this year so most of the people you got to know got through. The ones going home I hardly recognised.
Oh dear, the group category looks AWFUL. Good luck, Louis. Are you telling me Simon doesn't have a hand in deciding the categories? Please! Personally I think the best category is the girls. Dannii FTW.
PS: Two shows it too many, what with Xtra Factor, too. I feel X Factored out.

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