Big Brother 9: Double Eviction (Cookie Hate)

How many different ways can I say I hate these people? Mo not giving Sara fags. Rex calling Rachel a pig (go kick a kitten instead, Rex). Kat's ickle sad face. Darnell: your misogynistic rant has not been forgotten. Sara; nice but just too, too needy. Mikey; the dictionary definition of creepy.
The goading of Sara over a simple eye mask was bizarre. I have an eye mask! I'm not a bondage freak! Oh, wait...
Rex vs the wasp: who's the biggest prick? That wasp had the right idea. Rex calling Rachel 'a dreamer' like it was an insult... sad.
The only good thing I can say about this final week is at least there's a bit of tension, and it could go any way for the final (not that I'll see it as I'll be in Amsterdam!)
It was kind of sad when Mo went, only cos it was a shock and they blubbed a bit. He should have been booed more though! He's gross. Who's want his manky dressing gown?
Mo interview. Davina went easy; in fact the only person i've seen her be an arse to recently is Lisa. You think he might have looked ashamed as they basically called him a fat cunt. But no. He was proud as punch. Interesting seeing him go in- he looked a stone thinner. Did Dennis gobbing in his face not make it to his best bits? In fact, it had been wiped from history. How unlike Big Brother to brush something like that under the carpet.
Kat: 'Big brother, please don't take any more of my friends away.' Ok, then, why don't you leave instead, you insincere bint. She was CERTAIN she was a shoe-in. And less people liked her than Rex. Hahahahahahaaa! I found the weeping and wailing hilarious. Her at the top of the stairs... 'Happy happy house... boo hoo...' Then: Boooooooo! See ya. That's entertainment.
That sucked that she was happy again after the break. Did someone give her a chocolate chip cookie? Glad they stitched her up in the interview. Didn't buy the whole Care Bear Friends Forever/ 5-year-old act. In fact... it was mildly sinister and teeth-grindingly annoying.
That was a classic BB eviction in more ways than one. The mighty have fallen. But the question remains. Why is Rex still in that house? Then I look at him, all sweaty and arrogant but still running rings around them all, and with a veneer of intelligence. And I think, anything could happen. And after the slog of this series, that's something to look forward to.

Big Brother 9: Bullying My Ears

Oh God, I hate them all. I thought Lisa going was the right result on Friday and she got a good reaction, which was deserved. I was happy for Sara to stay and slay the boys but she rather shot a hole in the foot of her own plan by sitting on Darnell's lap in the pool and saying how she was going to come round and watch movies. Why would you say that to someone who had been so horrible to you? So I can't work Sara out still, and that's not good. And there will be the inevitable barrage of 'she's leading him on' again- sigh. Rex passing judgement was particularly galling; I hardly think he's in a position to be offering relationship advice. He doesn't care about Darnell, he just wants to blacken Sara's name.
Rex being nice to people in the final week isn't exactly a surprise. And they are so thick in there they might fall for it. Hopefully the general public won't.
Mohamed's moronic giggling at Rex's rampant misogyny was unpleasant. Rex bullying Darnell and Sara for simply getting on was just plain horrible.
Kat doesn't know what devious means? Yeah right. I'm glad Big Brother repeated it to hammer it home. Mo in the diary room: thick as shit.
Darnell: SHUT UP. Idiot! Just shut UP! The word 'martyr' is not sufficient for him.
Rex and Darnell proudly telling what insults they'd written down for Rachel was just mean-spirited. Her going 'OK... that's fine.' is so annoying though. It's NOT fine.
Things haven't been fine for quite some time.

Gig: Conor Oberst and The Mystic Valley Band (Electric Ballroom, Camden)

So here I am, walking past a queue of people seemingly no taller than five foot (and I aint MUCH taller), to see screamy-turned-country-cokehead-genius-and-isn’t-he-cute!- Conor Oberst. The crowd does not match the music on offer tonight. But these are eyelinered teenagers who fell in love with The Calendar Hung Itself (that was the first Bright Eyes song I ever heard) and Lover I Don’t have to Love (if you’re younger).
Why do we stick by Conor as he goes from brain-bleedingly vital (Desaparecidos) and downright genius (Letting Off The Happiness/ Fevers & Mirrors/ Lifted/ Digital Ash) to generic country bumpkin? Because look how many albums WERE downright genius. How can you fall out of love with someone who gave you so much? I am a loyal little fucker and he has done more for me than 99.9% of people on this planet just by existing.
And so I took my place at the front of the barrier amongst the crowd who were 80% female and 80% under 20. I might be older, but I’m the same age as Conor. He speaks for me as well.
The support band were a bit peculiar, a Welsh David Icke lookalike and a guitar player who would have made a rabbit in the headlights look like it was sitting on a sun-lounger sipping a cocktail. But my general feeling was, it could have been a lot worse.
I had reasonably low expectations for the gig; I was fully expecting it to be a full on country-fest, which it was to an extent, but it seemed to work well in it’s own bubble. You just have to push the back catalogue out of your head and appreciate this for what it is. I saw quite a chunk of Conor at Reading on BBC3 and I thought it was OK, but it was much better when you were there (plus he didn’t look quite so much like he was in fancy dress).
Conor and The Mystic Valley Band came on in a collection of puke-coloured shirts. Conor later said they were ‘ill’; I think ‘drunk’ was more the word he was after. The guitar player looked like he was struggling to stand and Conor later said it was because he’d dropped acid right before the show; if that was the case, he did a sterling job.
I’m quite fond of the Conor Solo album anyway, but it seemed more alive on a stage, less mellow and like it was meant to be heard this way. The stripped down numbers like Lenders in the Temple and Milk Thistle were lush and I thought Conor’s voice sounded really good, especially as he seemed to have a sore throat. The lighting was really cool at times I thought and they did one song that I have an acoustic version of that they really rocked up and it sounded brilliant (I don’t know the name of it- they did it at the BBC session and it says untitled!)
Minor gripes; I don’t think there was one member of the band that didn’t sing a song (even the bloody drummer sang one!) which seems a bit of a waste; like getting some gormless ballboy to play a set at Wimbledon whilst Nadal sits drinking some barley water and staring into space. Actually those songs were OK, and the covers, and I thought the whole set was pretty good (oh OK they pushed it a bit at the encore, but the very last song made up for it.)
I do just enjoy watching Conor, I like watching him fall apart a bit, and stumble round, and I especially like it when he SCREAMS. The final song (which I have discovered is called Breezy) saw Conor take to the keyboards, for this ballady number, then halfway through the song kicked in (I Believe in Symmetry style!) and there was a fair amount of shouting. It felt like a moment. It was an absolutely brilliant song and I want it now!
I actually thought him playing no Bright Eyes tonight was just right. I’m sure some eyelinered teens will have been disappointed. But I’m older. I’ve seen him on five or six tours now. They just should have been born earlier!
PS. I think Conor will be our Madonna and go a bit pop/ dancey next. I’m hoping anyway.

Big Brother 9: A Psychologist's Wet Dream

What a shame Nicole wasn't still in for the Vegas task! Ha. Bring on the lapdancers.
I'm very glad that Darnell and Rex were called into the diary room for causing 'serious offence to another housemate or to the general public'. Darnell. Dick. Just say sorry, you prick.
Rex! Pinned the blame on Darnell. Lovely! Sara, it's not because of you, it's because of them. Rex saying she made an issue of it, when she absolutely didn't. Just imagine for a moment if NICOLE was called a slut in that house. Just imagine what she'd have made of it. And conclude: Rex is a cunt.
How on fire is Mikey lately in summing up the housemates! Spot on.
DAVINA! Stop pretending 50 grand means shit to you. You wipe your arse on £20 notes. That hair dye ad alone probably rakes in 100K a year at least.
Now here's an interesting thing. In the past when they've put the housemates on the spot and forced them to nominate there's always been a revolt, or one housemate going 'pick me!' These fuckers couldn't WAIT to pick up their markers and vote! What a bunch of arseholes.
But there is actually a world of difference in who you WANT to nominate, and who you'd DARE to nominate to their face. Hence why all the votes for Lisa and Sara.
Some of them really seemed to enjoy it, didn't they (Lisa/ Mikey/ Rex)? Sara looked beautiful in defeat. What a surprise the two nicest people in the house were up. That's what you get when it's a complete cunt factory in there.
I'm glad Lisa & Sara got the cash over the others, but all the suspense died because they were such good friends it was obvious what they'd do. Now Rex vs ANYONE would have been funny.
All in all- a disappointment. But then, what's new?

Big Brother 9: Swinging from Dicks

Well done Darnell, that comment was right up there from the Anthony Hutton school of sexism. Just cos she doesn't want to sleep with YOU and you're a virgin, she's a slut. So Sara is flirty and has an annoying voice. So she did lead Darnell on a little, then turn her attentions to Stu. That doesn't make her a slag, or a slut, or any of the other narrow-minded little preconceptions you've been force-fed since birth. It does, however, make you a misogynist. As is Rex, who declared 'there's no problem here' as Kat cried her eyes out. I personally couldn't give two fucks about Kat, but there's not NOT a problem just because Rex declares it so.
Rex is a nasty, sexist cunt, and Mo is a snivelling dick for laughing at his offensive jokes. Rex, your coat is disgusting. Darnell; so what if Sara has slept with a bunch of blokes? At least she's been out living whilst you've been sitting at home whining and self pitying.
I personally feel Rex, Darnell and Mo should be thrown out for that conversation. It was highly offensive and cruel. I hate the fact they think they've won it and that Sara would never have a chance (how they feel about Lisa too). Please let her beat Rex.
Interesting that she could stand up to Darnell but not to Rex. Rex is a unique sort of bully, finding her weakness (Stu) then exploiting it.
Rex constantly declares he's 'only joking' whilst being supremely cruel. Darnell called her 'an ugly bitch'! She's 12 billion times out of his league. The things he said about her were vile 'I hope she comes out crying'. I hope he gets the boot. Gross. No one stood up for her either. Not one person. Disgraceful. I hate Darnell now. Absolute bastard. Rex is doubly sly though, going 'are you alright?' when he started it.
Absolutely maddening.

Reading Festival 2008: Saturday

So I trundled along to Reading this weekend on a day ticket, mainly to see Bloc Party & The Killers. The weather was actually pretty good, there was only a mild sprinkling of rain during Bloc Party and by then I was crammed so close to other people it didn't really matter!
The first time I went to Reading was the year Kurt Cobain died (and the brilliantly shambolic Hole performance) when I was 14- I'm now TWICE as old as that (and I actually felt it looking at some of this crowd). I think my festival days may be drawing to a close, and certainly whole weekends are. I'm SUCH a baby. Having said that, I really enjoyed the day.
The first thing that struck me about Reading was; it stinks and you don't get used to it. So it's best to drink as much as possible. I also got some serious sunburn, despite it being cloudy.
But yeah, the bands. Editors: they all sound like Munich, don't they. I like Munich, but I don't want to hear 12 variations of it. Cheer up, mate. We are Scientists... one good album, but they forgot to write any tunes for the second album. They are always good for a bit of sarcastic banter though.
The Raconteurs: if they were half as good as Jack White's enormous ego, they'd be amazing. I thought Jack White looked fat, and I could see his knob through his revolting polyester trousers. Gross.
Bloc Party though, really were amazing, young, energetic, and, oh, the tunes. Opening with Mercury was brilliant; I was right in the thick of it and there was a brilliant atmosphere. I don't normally enjoy getting shoved around and I have major claustrophobia issues, but there was a good feeling in the air. Kele looked great too; really beefy! I liked his weedy look too, but he looked powerful in stage on Saturday. I downloaded Intimacy this week and enjoyed the dance sound but thought it sounded a little like Bloc Party By Numbers (and what's with the one that sounds like Block Rocking Beats)? But live it was spot on (and they only played two off it!) In fact the setlist was pretty much a dream; loads of oldies, Two more Years, The Prayer, Flux, Banquet, This Modern Love (which moved me to tears)... I could say more, but you get the general idea. It was a lesson in crowd-pleasing that Steven Patrick could do well to follow. When he jumped in the crowd at the end it was ace too, as he was right near us! I heard their set described as 'career-defining' on BBC3 today, and you know what, I think it was. It was just wonderful; confident, progressive and fun.
Then... The Killers! In between I became a sitting duck in the cross-hairs of a water fight with the cups of water security were handing out (for people to DRINK, not empty over my Iphone when I'm trying to hook up with JOTV!) but it was all good-humoured. I thought The Killers were great, but nothing could beat when I saw them at Wembley Arena, they were just perfect that night. The setlist wasn't quite as good here, and I didn't think much to the new song. (By the way, Brandon, so glad you shaved off the moustache, but what's with those TEETH? Did you go to Tom Cruise's dentist? Urgh!) but I enjoyed Tranquillize and you know, all the usuals. My feet started to hurt toward the end though and I had to have a little sit-down when Mr Brightside was on. (old age!)
All in all, WELL worth it, if only for Bloc Party. I could marry Kele if he wasn't gay.
Why are they ALWAYS gay?!
Oh, and we got the last rain home, just in time. Always a winner.

Big Brother 9: 'I'm sick of this shithole'

Catch up blog! Bank holiday weekend thoughts are here for the taking.
Nicole's eviction: 94% of the vote! Was that all? Nicole created more bad feeling in that house than Jade Goody's mum. Darnell: horrid to Sarah. Digging his own grave with his self-pitying psychosis every single day. Rex: horrid to everyone. How could Darnell say he thinks Rex is a favourite! They are all so browbeaten by him it's not funny. Him paving the way to ingratiate himself back with the other housemates before Nicole left was sickening and utterly transparent. He's about as trustworthy as Gary Glitter on babysitting duties.
Rex: 'I thought I'd feel worse when Nicole got booed, I actually found it quite funny.' Heartwarming! And he smirked when her name was called out. Nice doily for a dress, by the way, Nicole. Then he slated her again the second she left. Chivalry. Is. Dead. Imagine if someone else said they found Nicole getting booed 'funny'.
Darnell; you've hitched your apple-wagon to the wrong star (Rex). And for that... you will pay.
Sundays show: Rex: 'All you need to do to chat up Sara is tell her to bend over' and 'do you really want to get on that?' to Mo. Rex hates women. If he'd said that about me, I'd have slapped him in the face. Sara just laughed. What respect she has for herself. What a sad collection of people in that house.
Mondays show: I liked BB giving them presents. A bit of happiness was well needed in that house. It was AMAZING to have Mario back, Mario owned that place. How cruel that they didn't let him properly in when they let that rancid cuntrag of Rex's in as a housemate. I proper blubbed at the proposal, it was amazing. It was lovely to see them so happy, as they are such a well-matched (bonkers) couple. 110% suited! Haha. The ring was cool, too. Did I see Rex shed a tear? I want a cardboard cutout of Mario! TRIP HAZARD! I hope Lisa sleeps with it later.
Rachel: how can ANYONE be so excited about grapes? Someone drop an E in her drink, for god's sake, her head will come off. Darnell; ungrateful! I'd happily have an Ipod Morrissey-fest on my own in there. That would be sweet!
Kat singing: painful. Mo's blunt schoolboyish courting of Sara; even more so. Having to pay for kisses with booze! Gross.
Two weeks left. It feels like it could be another two months.
Why is the last mile the hardest mile? (cos the housemates suck, that's why)